Our new Webmaster, Andy has already admonished me... Admonished, spelled "N-A-G-G-E-D". Our new webmaster has come up with a really clever suggestion for what this month�s journal entry should be about. Our webmaster, who is also a�stage performer, has never done anything as demanding as TortugaPalooza... Our Webmaster has his Canadian head up his ass! (Hi Andy!) �[Bite me, Ronn!]
Actually Andy�s suggestion was a good one, he wanted us each to write two separate journal entries; one just before and one just after TortugaPalooza - right!
This has been one of the scariest, most hectic, nerve-wracking and rewarding set of weeks in my life.
Do you understand that we have been working on this show for a year? While we had a lot of help with some of the technical issues, (and dear-God not ALL, Poor Jef was still editing, and burning video an hour before the show!) Everything from writing, filming and promoting this beast was just; we three renaissance festival weenies who didn�t feel like holding �real� jobs.
Name in lights no green M&Ms film crew gear
We had a full-on stage crew for this event, (actually two, more on that later) Stage manager Mike, flown in from LA. Old friend (and scene stealer) Kevin McDermott as lead stage hand and Twin wrangler, with Mark and Jimmy the giant as his back-up. Old close friend Alethea as backstage goddess and ruffled feather soother, John "spud" Colbert, as VIP usher and emergency spot tech... plus countless light, sound and usher-guys supplied by the Theater. Add to that the five-man film crew, and the support folks for the after-party...�That is a whole lot of people who�s entire Job is to support us.
There were two other acts at the show that night, the amazing�Hack and Slash, and the lovely�Panty Raid! Dames... but let�s face it... no one came to Hack&SlashPalooza... I am not bragging here, I am trying to give you an idea of the kind of pressure and wonderment we were under. There were people whose entire job was to fetch stuff for us, and feed us. There were hundreds (we think just shy of 700 actually) of folks, some who had come from as far away as Minnesota and New Mexico, to see what we had.
Panty Raid and US Spud the usher Panty Raid and slash
I was terrified. This show we did was such a departure. When we first conceived of this idea, we figured; �Worst-case scenario, we�ll just perform Wolf, or the sword show, make it a beer-show-in-a-theater�. That surely isn�t what they got.
The memory I hold most dear from that night... No not most dear, I think MOST dear would be my Mother calling me after everything was done, and being in tears as she spoke to me. "Son, I am so proud of you I could cry," she said. "Mom, you already are" was my response. But stage moment...
Guys I am the one who gets nervous. I am the one who sometimes gets so bunched-up before a new experience that I get queasy. I remember being backstage as the lights went out and the first segment started...Holding hands with Riki and Jef praying that everything we had created would work (it didn�t by the way, more on that later too). The initial introduction speech stated and the crowd went berserk!
Would you like to know what the biggest mistake we made for TortugaPalooza was? We had forgotten how much our fans LOVED the Twins. We didn�t realize how much we had stacked the deck in our own favour. When we wrote these segments we created them for a cold audience. You know, one you have to win over. But we�d forgotten that all of those folks in the audience�really wanted to be there, and really loved US!
That first laugh, and we knew everything was going to be great.
riki in baby drag Backstage pass jef putting on a diaper
We all had some additional added stress for the event by the way. How about this: Riki flew his Birth Mother in From Australia to meet him, and to see what he�d made. Understand, our little Riki was adopted at birth, and had only just recently discovered this woman... how�s that for added stress?
Jef�s dad is a former lounge singer, and also was a rather big-time agent promoting shows and whatnot. Like all of us with surviving parents... Jef�s really was kind of dismissive of Jef�s career. My mother wants me to get a back-up job as a nurse; Jef�s wanted him to go into promotions like he had been... SO Jef�s Dad (named �Dick�... I swear!) Was at the event, along with a guy who has a lot of pull in the entertainment field. So if we did well, not only would Jef be able to redeem himself in the eyes of - Dick, but it could open quite a few professional doors as well.
Yikes!
As for me? Well, from the time I was eleven until the time I was eighteen my Mother dated this really cool, amazing guy. His name was David, and despite the fact that I am such a girly-type, anything positive I know about being a man I learned from this fellow. David is smart, slick VERY charming...he could sell Ice to Eskimos (on an installment plan no-less) he was just an all-around great guy. I live my life with very few regrets; those who have read my journal or the first part of my autobiography know that. But one of the few I did have was that in that entire seven years, I never told this man how important he was to me. I only once told him I loved him.
David was at the show, along with my mother. I got to tell him this trip just how important he was and to thank him (albeit with a joke) in front of our fans on what will surely be one of the most significant nights of my life.
Let�s talk about some of the technical difficulties?
There were wigs in the show (they worked great!) that we didn�t have until Day-of show, in the late afternoon.
The tear-away tuxes were never tested until actual performance
The ending piece was almost completely un-rehearsed, Pies, squirt guns, silly string... all of that messy crap (and it WAS messy) was a first-time deal.
There were video problems galore... Jef was up until 4:30 Friday am, and then back to editing/burning/resolving until just before the show. As it was we still had...
Video glitches; The baby sketch tanked for several reasons, not-to mention that a major portion of the punch lines had video pay-offs that were not working... and because of the technical issues I had to
Tap dance; (not literally) I had to go out and fill about ten minutes of space as our video system had a nervous breakdown... which brings us to;
Lots of the spoken pieces were not written...
All of this in it�s bumpy, craggy glory was filmed and will be included (even the less-than-stellar parts) on the DVD to be released... watch our opening speech segment, I really had no idea what the hell we were gonna say...but that is I think one of my �Mutant-powers� the ability to address people at the drop of a hat.
The show went really well, (for-the-most-part). Having all the assistance we had certainly made it possible. I was impressed with Panty Raid! Who really came together nicely on show night, and looked beautiful too. (Yummy!)
Hack and Slash were amazing; I love those guys... though if they ever go 45 minute long in our 25-minute slot again I am going to kick their asses! The boys are great, and have a really solid following at their favourite shows. But they don�t have fans like Tortuga Twins fans... when the Large-breasted flashing lady started doing her thing... Poor Spencer hardly knew what to do.
By the Way... you guys didn�t think that was a plant did you? I think I am offended!
The slide show/Tortuga History Jef created was a HUGE hit... (Great Job Jef) the Pirates of the Caribbean piece I created was well-received too (whew! My first-ever editing job!) The Edwina Script, most of the videos... the crowd liked more stuff than we did. And they were rowdy, supportive, sexy (thanks Jackie!) and fun. As I write this I realize I cannot give too much information though... more later as to why.
We hated the baby sketch, for technical issues and others. We hated the fact that the show went Sooooooo long, and the palladium was uptight about time. I hate being rushed off the stage... and we DID have the after show party to run/attend/etc. We also didn�t think everything through... why-on-earth would we cover ourselves with pie and silly string just before we were to host a party? I had to get their first (while Riki and Jef took care of other issues) So I had to actually go to the shindig with a head full of pie-mix. It looked like some expensive gel, and smelled sweet... until the next morning!
a moment of calm with Hack and Slash Mom and David
The after-party was amazing too; I hear that Sushi Rock grill put out an amazing spread... I didn�t get any of course. There were issues with our security, our concessions and the fact that we ran so late at the theater... But it was truly amazing to arrive at the party and be greeted like a rockstar. There were hundreds of people there, from all over the country... My Mom and Riki�s mom were pal-ing around together (which was a bit unsettling) I couldn�t buy a drink, (which was great) but I couldn�t stand still without being surrounded by fans. (A little less great) One of our more devoted fans had hidden hundred-dollar bills on her person, and we went a-searching for them (thank you!) Drinks were flowing, both of my �evil-ex-girlfriends� were flirting with me... We gave away GREAT door prizes... an amazing time
Most-of-all I cannot wait until the DVD comes out, so we can actually see what the show looked like!
This brings us the final piece of TortugaPalooza news: We sold thousands of smackers in tickets to this event, but it cost us a lot more to put on than we imagined (especially when you consider the big check we sent to All Children�s Hospital.) we created all of this comedy, and this year of work... and got no money out of it. It has always been our plan to have subsequent TortugaPaloozas in other markets, specifically Minnesota and Charlotte... So Jef and Riki have convinced me to expand our original plans... we are going to perform TortugaPalooza One in Charlotte and in Minnesota this year!
We are now trying to work out all of the details, find theaters, promote the show, and make a few minor changes so stand-by! Meanwhile, we STILL have to write and film all of the stuff for Palooza Two... (Jef�s wife is NOT happy about that) There were folks who really wanted to come to the show, and it went well, so lets do it two or three more times...
Okay, nuff about that... there will be plenty of news on that as we figure it out.
In non-Palooza news; Mosi was a little disappointing. It has a lot of potential... and it is gonna be great... but the old crowd hasn�t really found us yet. It was more like a really good first or second-year show rather than a twenty-year show... but don�t give up.
Dorks Our Mosi Stage Tortuga Gear cart in Mosi
For those who are keeping track of my�personal�life; the best thing about the Mosi show is I met a pretty swanky girl... She is beautiful, really smart, ambitious, showy, naughty (in the best possible ways) complicated... I can�t write too much about her because she is reading over my shoulder, alternating with making me pancakes for breakfast! We have lots of mutual friends, including one really clever one who has forbidden either of us to even�think�about being more than casual playmates for at least three months... Actually she is here while I write this Georgia...(breakfast was great, and we are now watching Eddie Izzard) I have a very busy�social�schedule here, (don�t worry she knows) lots of stuff going on.
Alright, don�t know what else I have to write for now... we are in Georgia, we are preparing both a NEW TortugaPalooza and to re-perform the OLD one... I am seeing several swell girls, including one that has some nice potential, all is right in the universe.
Hey, write me on what else you kids want to know about okay?
I�m out
