Howdy! I'm starting this journal the morning AFTER I wrote the June journal...
I am uploading the current one even as I write this. (Having two computers is great, as is my new T-mobile aircard. It is SLOW as hell but I have full time connection to the internet now - for only 30 bucks a month).
My intent is to cover most of this month's brou-ha-ha, and only plug in the final few days events, and photos.
I suppose that first I should cover the questions I haven't answered in a few months--- damn pain-in-the-ass fans keep asking me things like:
Why the name London? (Yes, I am curious about your cat) What is her story of travels, trials, and tribulations?
And
You mentioned in a journal entry months ago that "someday" you might share the teddy bear's name. I'm curious! LOL!
And finally, the updates on Brandy, and Naomi.
Well let's do the most fun one first... now this is kind of a bummer because I tell this story, a lot... often on the first date or two...
Ronn's Teddy Bear
 A bear named...? |
I am 40 years old. I have had a life that would easily fit on the playboy channel, or into a scandalous book... yet each and every night as I fall asleep... even when I have a cute girl (or girls) over I cuddle with a fuzzy brown Teddy bear.
I have always slept with a stuffed animal, usually a bear. My mother swiped (for posterity) my original one... the one I have now I have had for sixteen years or so. Very comfortable, a little worn and shaggy...
His story is a two - parter.
How I got the bear:
In the old days I had to work during the winter to support my summer touring habit... We didn't make a load of money back then... and I was poor. There was a lovely girl I had been pursuing for a while, and when I got back to 'home' (Sam's house in Clearwater, Fl) she actually asked ME out.
I had to decline... "Honey," I said, "I can't afford to take you out right now."
"No, I asked YOU out," she said "So I'll pay." And she did just that. This pretty, charming girl picked me up at my house, took me to dinner at Outback Steakhouse, (that's how long ago it was - I was still eating steak!) took me to a movie... On the way home she stopped at a gas station I believe, specifically to buy me this cute two-foot-tall bear... She then took me home, took me to my room, tucked me into bed, offered me sex (I politely declined - though I don't know why) She kissed me goodnight, and left. I goggled at my night, and my gift and said to myself "DAMN! Girls have it easy!"
I of course named this bear... I name every thing. My Truck is named 'Gunther', My trailer, either 'Palace of Decadence' or 'Ivory Tower' (depending upon my mood) even my computer was named 'Abacus-zilla' (but that was a few incarnations ago). But the problem is; I kept forgetting the damn name.
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We need to leave this story for a minute; and fast forward about four years: It is our very first time at the Arizona Renaissance Festival; The Tortuga Twins had never been to the state of Arizona, let alone to the fair. I found out later that as we walked up for the first time ever, someone leaned over to this beautiful sixteen-year-old girl who was a Morris dancer, and said to her, "Stay away from those guys, they have a bet to see how many sixteen-year-olds they can sleep with."
Fuck you! Nameless, faceless coward, accuse me to my face!
I found this out because this girl later became my friend. A good friend. She was smart, beautiful, fun, funny, nerdy... she played both D & D, and Magic the Gathering with us... She was lovely and certainly didn't look or act sixteen... but she was. I was very, very careful with her. When she came and visited, I made sure that the woman who owned the home I was staying in, was there to chaperone. I was never alone, or in a compromising situation with this amazing young lady. Not only did I not want things to be unseemly... I didn't want them to even look unseemly. I was very careful with her reputation and my own.
Since I was very careful with her, of course she ended up with a crush on me.
In the final week of our time at the AZ. show she came to me, and expressed her desire, and intentions. I said one of the smartest, cleverest, most honest things I have ever said.
"You are beautiful and wonderful... but you are sixteen. So nothing can happen between us right now. I have, however, just signed a four-year contract - I will be here when you turn 18. If, one minute after you become that age, you are still interested - I would be the luckiest man in the world to have that honor from you."
She beamed. "However, let me tell you the reality of the situation... By the time you are eighteen, in two years, I will have become an embarrassing school-girl crush to you. By the time you are eighteen, I will become Leif Garrett or Erik Estrada to you."
And she said, "But I don't know who those people ARE"
"Exactly," I said.
Somewhere in our friendship I had told her of the problems with forgetting my bear's name... She pondered this for a minute, and said. "Let me think about it; I'll come up with a name you won't forget."
A few days later, just before I left town and just a little after the Leif Garrett conversation, she came to me and said, "I have a name for your bear, and every time you say his new name... you'll think of me."
Actually, she was wrong. I do a lot more than just think of her, I relate this whole story, pretty much as I have written it down... and now it is written down for posterity... Every time (and it is often) I tell people about the bear and this amazing girl.
The name of my bear is "Jailbait"
Yes smart-asses... all these years IÂ HAVEÂ been sleeping with jailbait... just not in the way everyone seems to want to accuse me of.
An important note; if my readers care to make jokes with me about this THINK TWICE ABOUT IT... all we need is for someone to overhear, misunderstand, and perpetuate THAT rumour.
London
 Devil-kitty London |
I refer to London as an 'Arizona-grey-kickboxing-panther'. She is a pound-kitty... rescued from the animal control in Phoenix. A gift to April, and though she was not the cat I would have chosen, or supposed to be for me... She chose me from the beginning. London has imprinted on me... and loves me with almost a desperation... which allows me to overlook so many of her flukes.
As April's cat of course, she got to name her. I suggested a bunch of different names...all of which got shot down. I don't remember all of my suggestions btw... I do remember that one was 'Nekko' which is Japanese for 'cat'. However London is grey and puffy... so April named her after a city known for fog.
I like this trend. If (god forbid) I get any more cats, I will continue the trend of naming it after my favourite cities... so if I get another cat or cats they will be named 'Berlin', 'Sydney', or 'Toronto'.
Some animals HATE to travel... but London was practically raised in the car. In eight years she has always traveled in the truck with me when I drive (not on daily drives mind you... but whenever I go cross country). I keep her litter box, water and food there as well... there is always litter flung into the nooks and crannies of my truck... and freakin' fur everywhere but in all this time she has only had one accident (which took months to get the smell out from!)
She is a fairly good travel partner... she has about ten minutes at the beginning of the trip where she is meowing, and restless... but often she just needs to sit on Daddy's lap for reassurance. She has only been in a kitty carrier once... and only for a half-hour. Now we have a pretty good arrangement where she alternates between the passenger seat, my lap, and the rear seat shelf. She resigns to travel... but gets antsy with the transition. I have been scratched from time to time as she gets spooked by passing trucks - And she is rather amusing when I go to eat or get fuel... when she senses me returning... she runs to whichever side of the vehicle I am closest too and meows as if to say, "Where are you? I need you!"
Here is a peculiar action she has mostly cured herself of: she knows by all the activity and noise when it is time to pack up the trailer and begin a long drive. She sometimes hides... perhaps thinking she can avoid the trip. In the old days she hid not just under the bed... but under the bed frame... I had to get a screwdriver and take panels from the bed to find her.
She is approaching 8 years old... and has become very much a part of my life. We have a very functional relationship... knowing our roles.
You have all read about my trials and tribulations with London pooping or peeing in my bed... but I am enamoured of her... what can you do?
Okay, it is now a few weeks later, I am trying to finally finish this journal (which is also late) I leave town after this weekend, off to the amazing "Moneysota"
Behind me on this late Saturday night, a very pretty girl is knitting and watching the movie Alexander with me... The movie really isn't that good, the knitting is okay... the girl is pretty, and good company... but she doesn't have a hold on my heart.
Speaking of heart... let's try to briefly cover Naomi and Brandy.
Naomi first... she is less complicated
Here's the comical short answer... I made the mistake of giving her a dozen-and-a-half roses on Valentine's Day!
Things were going well between the beautiful belly dancing, Playboy Babe and I... As I wrote in an earlier journal, I even told her I loved her... But things started to fall apart when I was in Phoenix... Because now we were not only separated by distance, but also by a three hour time difference. Before we'd ever become involved a good friend of both of ours suggested we weren't right for each other... I was looking for a relationship... and she wasn't looking for much of anything. I was 39, she 24... you know.
I was looking for someone to date, Naomi was looking to get to know someone interesting, and fun... but in the end didn't want anything serious.
Finally a little after Valentine's day, after I noticed she was calling less, starting to pull away, I called her and asked her if 'we' were okay. She informed me that she was going to pull away, since I was filling the space a real boyfriend might require. She was kinder, and gentler than that... but really that's what it was. I was a little disappointed, but not terribly, because at the same time as Naomi was fading... Brandy was reappearing. As brutal as it is to say, as soon as Brandy was in the picture, Naomi was a whole lot less important. The thing is, Naomi... was amazing on paper, Bright, brilliant even, beautiful, talented... but while the spark was there, it wasn't really a fire. Brandy was a HUGE forest fire... Naomi couldn't have worked out in the end... (Sigh) Brandy? Maybe... but in the end, again, she didn't choose me.
Brandy
I got an email from her (Brandy that is) shortly after I left Phoenix, she had just seen the movie The Notebook and told me how she cried, and cried. Have you seen the film? I am becoming a huge fan of Rachel McAdams... Brandy knew that in that position, that I was the sort of man who would have read the notebook to her, each day... and take care of her. She actually had the nerve to write: "How can I have these feelings and wishes for you when you are gone, but can never commit when you are here and ask?"
How indeed, Brandy?
She finished by telling me that she would call me on my birthday.
She didn't.
Her birthday is the day after mine... so I called her, and Shawn answered... OOPS!
I told her to wish her a happy birthday, he pressed for who I was... I started to explain that I was Ronn, an old friend..." I know who you are," he said.
Oops again!
I finally got an email a few days later... Shawn had let her have a nice birthday... and then they had fought the day after. Brandy said in her letter that perhaps it was time to discontinue our contact... because every time we were around each other, these feelings came back. After a few days to think it over, I wrote to her that in fact we should cease our contact. I would like to tell you gentle readers that I was strong, and willful, and even a little angry that she had broken my heart three times... but in fact, the last line I wrote was something to the effect of: When you discover that Shawn is not the one for you, and you will, then call me when it is over"...
Maybe, finally, it is over between us.
I am finally ready for it to be.
On with the rest of July...
Started a movie marathon, between cable, theater, and Blockbuster unlimited rental I watched:
| First Run Movie Title | Rating (out of 10) |
| Batman Begins | 9 |
| Bewitched | 8 |
| Charlie and the Chocolate Factory   | 8 |
| Fantastic Four | 9 |
| Madagascar | 6 |
| Land of the Dead | 7 Â (I wanted to give it more...)Â |
| Mr. and Mrs. Smith | 10 |
| War of the Worlds | 10+ (even with Cruise) |
| The Island | 9 |
| Cable and Rentals: | Notes |
| After the sunset | Salma Hayek is enough for any movie [You say that, but I bet you haven't watched Frida - AB] |
| Alfie | Sweet, but I swear I am not Alfie... I saw no similarity |
| Alone in the dark | HORRIBLE!!! |
| Anacondas 2 | As bad as expected |
| Assault on Precinct 13 | Crap - with a good cast |
| Batman Beyond - Return of the Joker   | Cute animated fun |
| Be cool | Didn't we see this done better before? |
| Bourne Supremacy | Lots of action, all-right story |
| Bridget Jones 2 | Awwww... nice, love the cast |
| Closer | BRILLIANT, TWISTED, Hot Natalie Portman too! |
| Diary of a Mad Black Woman | A little sappy, but funny |
| Dirty Pretty Things | Gritty foreign film... wow |
| Garden State | Perfect... again w/Portman too! |
| Girl with a Pearl Earring | Slow, but powerful. And Scarlet, wow! |
| Guess Who? | Hahaha! Silly fun. |
| Gunner Palace | Iraq Documentary |
| Hillside Stranglers | Exploitive film of two sick serial killers... of course I watched it! |
| Hostage | Yawn |
| Hotel Rwanda | Cheadle, and everyone else, was great! |
| Human nature | |
| In Good company | Excellent work by grace and Quaid... and more Scarlet |
| Life Aquatic | Not thoroughly horrible... but you saw all you need in the commercial |
| Lilo and Stitch | AWESOME |
| Lost Skeleton of Cadavra | A take-off of 50's B films... a stitch |
| Malcolm X | wow |
| Meet the Fockers | Middle of the road comedy |
| Miss Congeniality 2 | Why did they bother? |
| Mr. 3000 | Can a movie be predictable AND surprising? Maybe it was the weeeeed? |
| The Notebook | Sniff, sniff, still sad (Rachel was hot though) |
| Outfoxed | Documentary - Murdoch you bastard! |
| Pacifier | Fine... as expected |
| Punisher | Shot in our home town... what DRECK! |
| Ray | Lived up to the hype |
| Saved | Frickin' Brilliant!!!! See this film! |
| Son of the Mask | The first was much better! |
| Spanglish | Awesome, poignant, and the female lead was lovely!!! |
| The Jacket | Eeeh? |
| Thunderbirds | Pretty bad... but sweet |
| Twisted | Predictable, silly |
| Wicker Park | I bet the original had a better ending |
| Wimbledon | Brilliant! Fun, (I am a sucker for love stories) |
| Alexander | Even re-cut it was HORRIBLE!!!!! |
 At Cedar Point |
I did actually get a bunch of other things accomplished while I was there... I had a very sweet girl fly in from Phoenix. She had come out to GA for a short visit; I wanted her to come for longer this time... Ali is sweet, smart, pretty, but as I said before, too young. We had a nice time. A good friend and member of the fan club got us tickets to Cedar Point (and even had dinner with us while we were there). I have to tell you, I am loving our fan club more and more. We get to know some wonderful people, and only hope we are as nice to them as they are to us. Speaking of Fans and friends I want to also send a shout out to the Chapter head of the Ohio Area... Our Ohio fans are in great hands with Linda Gould... They are lovely people, and Linda is a real go-getter... We dined at the Beach Club Bistro (a funky little restaurant that Linda's husband Bob runs) and it was GREAT! Bob and Linda also bought me a sweet gift... And between them and Ken... actually guys, I have to tell you, something great is happening, Kay Kinsey, Sharyn Watson, Linda, Cindy in AZ... this fan club was originally started just so we could tell the truly devoted fans a little more about us... but now a actual community is developing. I am glad to be part of it... So thanks for letting me and my brothers be the center of something cool... seriously folks, this is your party... we're just the excuse (and I am very okay with that!)
Back to Ohio:
The show keeps getting better... The weather was a bit of a disappointment. The attendance was down, but we had more fun, made a little money, and just kind of enjoyed ourselves.
By the start of the second weekend I was feeling kind of blue... I was feeling unattractive, unwanted... you know that whole funk. Look, I am human, and sometimes insecure... it is part of why I am a performer... I need the attention and adoration. But someone must have "thrown the switch." Suddenly I was much desired. Like someone had turned on whatever button made me pretty and charismatic... I picked up two really nice girls at the festival, (not at the same time mind you...) I had an old, important flame from my past get in touch... and this one is kind of a big deal. I also was shortly expecting the arrival of Ali... I went from no girlies since Atlanta... to juggling four girls.
Yay!
Back to Ali's trip - Cedar Point, (love the roller coasters) Cleveland's Science Museum, and Body Worlds... check it out. They take human bodies, replace the tissues with plastic, and display them. Interesting, creepy, lovely... fascinating. I have a trend of making myself a drunken idiot at the Funky Formal in Ohio... (More so than most places) This year Ali was my date... and I was the luckiest boy there... (And sober too!)
After the formal, was even better.
 Ronn, after the formal |
 Ali and Ronn at the formal |
 Ali, after the formal |
I am honest with these girls and careful... but sometimes folks still get hurt.
I am just a boy, looking for love... and unwilling to settle... I want to find out what I think about a girl, and spend some time in her company... but if the fire isn't there - what can I do?
 A little send-off for Ali at the winery, with the gang |
Some stuff is going great, some stuff is going rough... more to come.
