As you may have already realized, I was negligent on my journaling duties for the month of March. I had a lot of stuff happening last month, and I let things get away from me. But, not to worry—I’m going to pull double duty this month and combine both journals into one. This way, you miss out on nuttin’ and I stop feelin’ like low Tortuga on the totem pole. Hope you enjoy what you see. I had a lot of fun living it!

Acting

 

“I’m not an actor, I’m a movie star!”

—Peter O’Toole in My Favorite Year

 

Being back in the Phoenix, Arizona area means reconnecting with my on-camera acting coaches, Peter Stelzer & Marla Finn. I’ve learned mucho from them over the last couple of years—techniques I’ve put to use on camera and on stage. I can’t always say I feel better about my on-camera acting ability when I leave class, but I can say that I’m a better actor than I ever was. And, the fact that I’m getting most of the roles I audition for is proof of that.

Here are a couple of the roles that I’ve acted in so far this year:

51 Fifty is an independent cop thriller in which I play the Coroner. I had one scene, but I got the chance to show off my improv skills and riff with one of the leads. The whole time I’m giving my dialogue, I’m munching on a bagel with strawberry cream cheese. At one point, I even set my food down on the corpse. Hilarious!

Next came Spinning Out.

Where 51 Fifty was a 15-minute film school project for Collins College shot primarily at the campus in Phoenix, Spinning Out was a feature-length independent film, shot throughout the Phoenix area. The instructor assigned to oversee the 51 Fifty project happened to be on set the day I shot my scene as the Coroner. About two weeks later, I got a call from him asking me to do a scene for the feature-length independent film he was shooting.

Turns out that they had run into a snag with a couple of their actors. Ryan, the instructor/director, had liked my performance enough to remember me, and invited me to help out. It was for just a couple scenes, but it was a lot of fun nonetheless. This film has a racing theme to it, so one of my scenes was actually shot at a track—Git-R-Done! Keep an eye on your fave Tortuga fan site for more info on when you might be able to check this one out.

Heather & Pub Golf

“Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.”

—Tiger Woods

 

For those of you with neither MySpace or Facebook, or who cannot read the obvious clues I’ve left behind there, I’m now dating someone. She’s a wonderful woman from the Phoenix, Arizona area named Heather. Fear not, I won’t go into the fluffy-bunny, chic-flick details. Suffice to say that it’s real good and we’re both enjoying ourselves, and each other, immensely. I will, however, regale you from time to time with tales of our adventures.

One of our escapades involved she and I dressing up like rejects from the Ugly Betty School of Golf Fashion. It was Heather’s friend Trish’s birthday, and she wanted to partake in nine bars worth of Pub Golfing.

According to Ebay.com:

Pub golf is a drinking game. It involves a number of pubs and/or bars — ideally eighteen, although this is becomes an incredibly difficult course — comprising the 'course', with each being assigned a 'par' as a hole on a golf course is. In pub golf, the par for each pub is drinking a certain drink in a particular way. For example, one pub might be assigned as a par one with a straight double vodka and another might be a par four with a pint of cider. In the first case a par 'score' would be recorded by drinking the double vodka in one swallow. In the second case, the pint of cider would have to drunk in four swallows. Under and over par would be drinking the assigned drink in less or more swallows than the par of the bar allows respectively.

It is often the case when playing the game that there are designated places for using the toilet and that if a participant uses the toilet outside of those places they are penalised. This can be particularly hard when a course is set up using many pints of beer or cider or glasses of wine.

So… after a wearying festival day, Heather & I donned our country-club worst and joined Trish, the rest of their friends, and even All Yo-Yo guy, Julius, for a very strange night of drinking (diet soda for yours truly, thank you very much) and gallivanting across Tempe and Scottsdale, AZ.

QMI

“People will pay more to be entertained than educated.”

—Johnny Carson

 

It’s one thing to write a clever book that can help most of the people you know. It’s quite another to get them to buy it. That’s what Sarina & I are going through now. As most of you know, our book, Why Real Women Drink Straight Tequila—the Tao of Intimacy, came out last year. The people who have already read it seem to enjoy it mucho. It’s getting the word out to everyone else in the world that we seem to be having difficulty with. I hear it’s called “marketing.” And, she is a costly mistress.

So, what can you do when you&rsqustyle="font-family: Georgia, serif"o;ve already spent your hard-earned dinero on an idea you truly believe in? Why, spend some more, of course.

Sarina & I are revamping our web site and creating an Electronic Press Kit (EPK). We’ve even shot some staged interviews using some of our more talented friends as cast & crew. Three shoots, to be exact, and in three different locations. Hoo-whee, what fun!

The first took place in Malibu, California. Sarina enlisted her friend Chris Kollins of MalibuGraphics to retool the website and bring in the first of our staged-interview production teams. Some of you might recognize Chris from his video-reporter days on World Youth News during the mid to late 1980’s.

The next two interview shoots took place in the Phoenix area. The first being shot at the foot of the Superstition Mountains (located just outside of Apache Junction), with our own Jef Hall acting as both the interviewer and cameraman along with Sarina’s friend Liz. That was a very cool outdoor shoot, with Arizona desert cacti all around.

The second shoot actually took place in the house Heather had just moved into. We pulled in Don Juan & Miguel’s Jose Granados & Doug Kondziolka for this one. Doug played talented interviewer—and, did a damn fine job, btw—while Jose, Jef, and a professional cameraman named Dr. Jules made sure that every shot was perfect.

With all three shoots in the can, we sent them off to Dunlap, Tennessee for editing. Don’t worry; I’ll let you know just as soon as the footage has been uploaded to our Quantum Manifestations website. Then you can let me know what you think. Right now, it’s still a work in progress.

April 2009

Festivals

“Why don’t you try acting, dear boy?”

—Laurence Olivier to Dustin Hoffman, on the set of Marathon Man

BARF:

This year saw yet another return of the Tortuga Twins to the Bay Area Renaissance Festival (BARF) in Tampa, Florida. We were placed at the forefront of the festival, performing on the Tower Stage. (Except for the R-Rated Show, of course, which was scheduled on the Black Pearl Stage, back by the joust.) Friends old and new came out to watch us frolic. It was a fantastic weekend, yet with one small difference from most other performances we’ve done: no Scaramouche!

Ronn was too busy vacationing in Hawaii with his wife and baby to be bothered with Tortuga trifles. So… our newest Tortuga, Lucio (played by Charlotte, North Carolina’s own John Wray), stepped up to the plate in his stead.

John as Lucio stormed the stage, invoking laughter from the Florida audiences and approving nods from Jef & I with his comedic antics. He did a great job, and we are all eager to work with him again.

Heather also came to visit the Sunshine State for the last weekend of BARF. We put her to work pushing Tortuga product with veteran Tortuga Minion Joey Rowe. It was very nice to have her meet some of my oldest and dearest friends. And, to finally put to rest the rumor that I am a monk.

GaRF:

A week later found me in Fairburn, Georgia, setting up for the Georgia Renaissance Festival (GaRF). Much like the Tampa show, the GaRF management elected to move us yet again. And, like the Tampa Show, they put us in the sweetest stage spot, up near the front gate.

For years, we’ve wanted to headline on the Halfwit Harbor Stage. Finally, our dreams have come true. See what a little wishing and a lot of hard work can get you?!

College Buddies

“What was old is new again.”

—Dorian Gray

 

Return to the Forbidden Planet:

According to Wikipedia:

Return to the Forbidden Planet is a Jukebox musical by director Bob Carlton based on Shakespeare's The Tempest and the 1950s science fiction film Forbidden Planet (which itself drew its plot loosely from The Tempest).

In the mid 80’s University of South Florida (USF) brought this production to the stage. Though I did not perform in it—I was more of a benchwarmer actor in those days, preferring to watch from the sidelines while others beamed in the spotlight—I did have friends who were involved.

Two of those special friends have continued in the acting world, and I have not seen much of either for nearly two decades. Victoria Watson (then Vickie Carter) now heads The Acting Studio based out of Lutz, Florida. Recently, her troupe put on Return to the Forbidden Planet, and I just had to go.

On the night that I was able to go, the second of my former college drama friends I am talking about was in attendance. Aasif Mandvi, now of The Daily Showand such movies as Spiderman 2 and Ghost Town, decided to make an appearance and lend his support.

It was wonderful seeing those two standing together again, and it brought back a wealth of memories. I still treasure those times. For better or worse, and they helped mold me into the man I am today.

Endings & Beginings

Well, my Tortugaholics, I hope that you had as much fun as I did these past two months. Things are moving forward in various aspects of my life—writing, acting, marketing, entrepreneuraling, and just having a life in general. I’m even told that I look happier than I have in years past. I do find myself smiling quite a bit throughout the day. Perhaps, then, it’s true. See you in thirty or so.

Live—Laugh—Love!

Riki Robinson