My title caught your attention didn’t it?
Here I sit still in our parking lot space at the Bristol Renaissance Festival. It is a Friday morning. I’m in shorts – anticipating my daughter waking-up momentarily. Scarlett is on the couch behind me fast asleep Heather – not asleep is catching up on her morning Facebooking.
Last month was the another Zombie Journal
Which is to say; it featured zombies, not that it was in some way an animated corpse hungry for flesh – shudder! You’d have to go back two months ago to hear about my  adventures in Kansas City including a trip to the artisan/engineer workspace/madhouse that is Hammerspace. Heather has some truly interesting and creative friends – there’s even a possibility that I am NOT the wildest/weirdest person she knows. I’ll try harder.
As I promised in last month’s journal: This month found me…
Living in a parking lot literally; outside the Bristol Renaissance Festival. We’re living in an expanded area called “The Padâ€. We have water, decent electrical power and elephants and circus performers for neighbors. There have been a few changes since I took the photo just after our arrival. The long grass has been converted to hay. Many more trailers have piled in and elephants. Really; elephants. We’re precisely 3:14 minutes and seconds walk at my pace from the drum booth. We’re close enough to be practical and yet not so close as to hear our neighbors flush their toilets metaphorically or literally. I like this space so much I intend to campaign for the exact same spot in 2013. I even cleverly selected a site that will allow me to exit with ease in two weeks when I have to depart for Minnesota. We had a relaxed and productive time before the show even opened. As I mentioned before: We watched movies. We relaxed. We even had a visit from my brother and his family. Richard is two years younger than me. He is a redneck truck driver who calls Tennessee his home base. He actually owns a small, independent trucking company – but he put all five or six drivers on paid hiatus so he, his wife and his youngest four kids – he has nine (!) but only this batch lives with him – could drive all of route 66. It was great seeing him and his family.
Eventually it was time to get busy - and by that I mean…
… To bust our ass! Initially Heather’s clothing line was the whole reason we went to Bristol, and why we got here so early. It was certainly easier than some of our summers. With her presence established here we are looking forward to having a set schedule, and places we like to go even if I am not contracted here as an entertainer in the future. Atlanta to Kansas City to Kenosha is not only geographically wonderful – it allows us some time to play and relax. I suspect that in 2013 when we do this we will make a jaunt to New Jersey to visit my sisters. Eventually we had to put together her workspace. My wife is amazing; knowing she’d not only be selling from a tent at this show – but creating a destination and an experience - she located and secured one of the most beautiful pavilions I have ever seen. We had to get our Jouster buddies to help us erect the thing initially including a visit from a famous stuntman! In what I like to call the tent’s “At rest state†it’s attractive and stylish, but not especially noteworthy but inside… Holy crap! This thing is breathtaking. Add to that Heather’s flair for creating and decorating dramatic spaces and you have an incredible fantasy harem that really adds to the feel that this area of the festival is trying to create.
In comparison to her fabric palace…
… The tent I rented for my Drum Business from the festival (which leaks; by the way) seemed drab and uninspired. I did class the place up with a brand new sign. A sign my annoyingly talented wife painted. If the drum business is back here next year – which remains to be seen and will depend upon whether or not business picks up – I’m going to have to purchase a much nicer tent to “keep up with Mrs. Jones!†I’ll put Heather in charge of that – though I have some ideas. Not all of my ideas are good ones I’d like to mention... like when I saw this pool float at my local warehouse club. I thought it would be a great idea to purchase it as a giant maxi-pad prop. Cooler heads; by which I mean “Heather’s†prevailed.
As I also mentioned in last Month’s Zombie Journal - There was work to do in Kalamazoo.
Actually the brand-new Blackrock Medieval Summerfest was in nearby Augusta, MI – but that doesn’t rhyme. We Tortugas – including Lucio/Jon from the Blue Team toiled diligently hammering in over 100 seven foot fence posts to create our temporary structure. We’d scheduled three days to complete the task based upon last year’s construction at the Silverleaf show but since we were not building it in a gravel pit it went a lot faster; we were done in a day. It turned out pretty well. Jef and I also had supplemental businesses. Jef had lotion candles of course; I had what I was assured was going to be the sole franchise for wooden swords and shields. We had people for those. My aptly-named easy-up went up pretty easily.
Being a Tortuga Twin on the road is so glamorous.
There was some confusion with our housing arrangements and some drama, so Jef and I secured a hotel two different hotels. The first one though very close to where Riki was staying was entirely too “Cracktown†for us to feel safe. Eventually we settled upon the HoJo in Battle Creek. With our time suddenly, unexpectedly free; we took a trip to downtown Battle Creek and were stunned to find not only that there was good food – and craft beers for Jef – but that parts of it were gorgeous. We stumbled upon local landmarks and a monument to the Underground Railroad where – I swear – Harriet Tubman seemed to be carrying a concealed pistol! We saw geese and a jazz quartet, huge buildings and an abandoned bicycle thrown into the river. Lovely. At the hotel Jef and I spent a lot of time on the phone to our respective families and surfing the web on our respective computers. SO glamorous indeed.
BlackRock opened with all the expected new show bugs
I’m sure eventually the Tortuga Twins will open their own renaissance Festival… it just seems to be the natural progression. We didn’t open this one but we did learn a lot. We love watching things come together and are patient when they don’t. We met new entertainers – this show had a very impressive line-up for a first year fair – including Dustin and Steven of the Dueling Fools. Nice boys. When I wasn’t trying to destroy their careers with bad advice I liked them enough to want to hire them. One of the bumps in the road was our shared stage. According to the Entertainment Director it was an ideal spot on paper. In reality you couldn’t have created a worse location for it. Un-shaded, yet hidden by trees. Literally off the beaten path and up a long, steep hill. *sigh* We also had some hiccups as crafters. It turns out that despite what I thought was an exclusive arrangement; two other dedicated wooden toy weapon dealers were present, and two other merchants snuck some in. Our maze paid for itself – but not much more. Jef had spotty success with the lotion candles and then there’s the dust opening weekend. Dear God the dust. To its credit; weekends two and three had days so crowded that parking really became a problem. Through it all we Twins did what we do: We were funny, engaging helpful and happy to eat at the local Casino Buffet at the end of the day. Despite the hitches and hiccups the festival itself was quite pretty, and has a LOT of potential. We look forward to being part of its growth and success.
I was a man with his feet in two worlds… or at least two states.
My wife and child and therefor my home, were still back in Bristol. I commuted; leaving on Friday just in time to hit Chicago traffic and returning on Sunday night. I left the fair early, directly after our last show in Blackrock. Roughly four hours door-to-do, and ten-plus bucks in tolls; I still managed to be home by nine pm on Sunday. I slept little on the weekends. After the hotel experience the first weekend I was crashing at the home of our friend Allison from Aerial Angels. Sleeping was problematic to-say-the-least. When I got home I made sure not to dwell on the impending return for the weekend. We spent time roaming the Bristol site with Scarlett; particularly enjoying the pond full of frogs, turtles and lily pads. We enjoyed the annual Christmas in July. We saw movies; loving the final installment in the Batman series. Heather and I even took and expansive and expensive full day date with two movies, a relaxing drive and lunch at a café heather heard about on Diner’s and Drive Ins. We also took time to do – nothing. We gleefully, joyfully went nowhere on the Monday after Blackrock; staying in pajamas and watching movies as a way to celebrate our 5th wedding anniversary. Bliss. I must say that perhaps our best event of the month of July was being surprised with an invitation to the “How To Train Your Dragon†arena show. We loved it. Scarlett loved it even more. We got invited by friends – Scarlett at one point abandoning us for their twin boys. We even ran into other entertainers while we were there.
Endings and beginnings
Yes Blackrock came and went, and will be extending to four weekends next year. Jon worked our maze, not Lucio; Jon. I’m sure he will return next year but in what capacity remains to be seen. One of the Tortugas' dearest friends came to the final day of the fair. Quite likely, it was mostly because her family reunion the day before was in a neighboring town. As always we parted from one set of friends and travelled to another. The final weekend of Colorado, where my drums are, also came and went. With it came my final weekend as a vendor there. We’re selling our booth for a long list of reasons and though we’re glad to be moving on; it is bittersweet. We have also purchased a booth at the Kansas City Renaissance Festival. Kansas City where Riki and I got our first contract as the Tortuga Twins and where I met the woman I eventually married. Heather will probably also expand into this fair too – next year. What a large circle our fate is turning in!
Bye- bye until next time.
As I come to a close, it is not-yet noon on Bristol’s fifth weekend. I have meetings with the entertainment director in a bit and we have lots of cleaning and prep – Heather wanted to thank the Jousters for the assist in setting up her tent with a massive cook-out, Heather-style. I have to go now; I have to proofread this and post it and gloat about it to the other Tortuga Twins… but mostly I have to help my daughter complete her computer game like I promised. Bliss!
