I stand a very good chance of actually getting this journal in early.
I have an extra step this time; I promised some friends the option to edit this before I put it in… but hopefully they’ll be speedy about it… I’d love to get this in before the other freakin’ Tortugas.
It is 1035 pm on Tuesday night, I’m naked and typing, Heather is doing some rump shaking dance against my shoulder, alternating with feeding me pasta.
We’re vaguely watching some serious trash TV (Millionaire Matchmaker), the lovely wife, done with her bump-n-grind has returned to her seat on the couch.
Nothing really happens in the month of January
I looked back over the calendar and the photos for the month and am unsurprised at how few photos I have.
Between the small number of photos, and the few items of note that happened this month, I thought I might also include some interesting links… some of my favorites. This will help you understand my inner workings just a bit.
Several of these are from a magazine called “Cracked” – very similar to “Mad” magazine. I think it might no longer be being published in paper form… but they do publish these lists; these funny, funny, fact-based comedy nuggets. I love the irreverent tone, and base language. I have literally spent hours-and-hours reading article after article; giggling maniacally. Heather can always tell when I’m reading a “Cracked” article… because I laugh 'til I’m breathless, and can’t even explain it to her without paroxysms of laughter. So to start you can either read about my trip to the Zoo; or Five scientific reasons why we might actually get a zombie apocalypse
Heather loves the zoo
Heather loves the zoo, and she loves taking Scarlett to see the animals. This time it wasn’t just the Bauman Clan but Dakota, “Aunt Dakitty” as well. The zoo was … nice. A little sparse for my liking; Lions, Tigers, Wolves (oh my!) There was a pretty cool Komodo dragon exhibit, including a dragon Bronze Scarlett and I posed with. It was a nice, relaxing time, and it was great to see Cody/Dakitty again.
Now, you can read about Scarlett’s next adventure or you can read about my favorite Dungeons and Dragons module of all time.
Scarlett has a friend at the circus
I have some cool and interesting friends. One who certainly fits both the cool and interesting categories is the wonderful bundle of energy affectionately called by me “Jana Blaze”. You’ve seen her for years at the Carolina and Arizona festivals, first as jester-like street character “Jester Twiggles” then with either her own show (Jana Lee) or as part of Bret’s magic show. She’s an acrobat, juggler, contortionist, and though she looks too young to be so; she’s married to Rope-walking madman Dextre Tripp.
Jana and Dextre got a winter job at Circus Zoeppe, an old-school one ring Italian circus. We took Scarlett, who loved her first circus experience, and loved petting the horse after. Jana can be seen in the photo on the left hand side, along with mommy, tired daughter, daddy (which every day is becoming more-and-more my name) Don Juan, and Aunt Dakitty. The circus was a genuinely fun time, and charming. It was really cool to see the generations, everyone from grandparents to infants performing at the circus. What tradition, what cool history. And all ages, grandparents to infants were seated in the stands enjoying the show.
There in the center, amongst the hay and sawdust was my dear friend Jana, she was doing amazing things, looking beautiful, and cool.
How cool!
Jana’s adventure didn’t end there, two days after she finished her run at Circus Zoeppe, she was flown off to LA, where she and Dextre appeared on the Ellen DeGeneres show! (More on that in a minute too!)
You know, my next paragraph is just about dieting, not drinking, and exercising… you could read that or this brilliant response to the mad ranting of “Reverend Foot-in-Mouth” – Pat Robertson.
The Healthy Path
My weight has been slowly creeping up over the years. I’ve now crossed a personal threshold I swore I never would, my waist is now wider than my inseam is long … it is still only a 33 inch waist, but damn! I mean, I wear tights for a living. I’ve been lackadaisically battling the bulge for a while – ostensibly dieting, and intermittently hitting the gym. But this month I’m trying to simplify the plan with an eye towards sticking with it more. I’ve been much more serious about portion control… I love to eat, my wife loves to cook, and I always stuff myself… but no longer. We bought loads of healthy and skinny groceries, and have cut-back on our fast food, dining out, and stuffing myself. I’ve stopped drinking for the month; and it has been harder than I’d like. Pretty much all Heather and I do is shots of vodka… as near as I can figure out they’re about 100, or 120 calories a pop… which means a bunch of calories a day, week, month… sheesh. I think even once the faire starts, I’m gonna try to not return to my old habits – but we’ll see.
Finally; besides our daily walks, I’m on the Scarlett work-out program. Carrying Scarlett, chasing after Scarlett, and even bench pressing Scarlett.
So you wanna stick around and read about my gun adventure, or read about How freakin terrifying Australia is? Look for the phrase “Geography is trying to protect you!”
I likes me some guns!
As we have established in past journals, I like guns, I do. And some dear friends of mine, who we shall refer to as “Mr. and Mrs. E”, were kind enough to not only invite me to the “Crossroads of the West” gun show, but to their own arsenal/gunsmith as well. They build pistol forms of the classic AR-15 assault rifle. awesome! And with a few of these puppies, I could totally fight of a zombie hoard. You can’t even see the rest of the goodies… but; wow!
The gun show was cool. I was probably the only liberal in attendance, and apparently the only Obama supporter. Politics were trumped by toys, however and I was both annoyed and relieved that I was practicing fiscal responsibility. I could have spent literally millions in there. I had a great time, and got to touch, if not fire some of the weapons I have always drooled over (even aDragunov SVD!)
Mr. and Mrs. E were loads of fun, great hosts, good company, and I am very glad I got to tag-along with them. After the show was lunch, and they really treated me like a King.
Well; my journal is now done. I’ve been doing lots of catch-up work here in the trailer, everything from reading books, to creating spreadsheets to monitor my businesses. It is also time to sign contracts for the year … The original team is pretty set – we have only one opening n the summer, but now it is time to get the Blue team out there… Wish them luck!
As I sign off until next time I noted that I didn’t tell you the other interesting Ellen News… When Jana appeared on the show, they asked her to bring some videos and suggest some friends to appear as well. Since the segment was based on hidden audience skills, she couldn’t really suggest us, but of the six or seven she DID suggest, the one that made it, looking cool, and cracking her whip was none other than…
Aunt Dakitty!
Again; how cool is that?
I’m going to leave you with one of my Favorite Articles ever… I want you to take two things away from this one: One, Loads of laughter, and Two Don't go to war with Finland! (Go Simo Hayha!)
See ya!
