January 2007

Taoist Happy Ending

Greetings, Tortugaholics! January is all but done, and I am finally back in Apache Junction, Arizona - though not for very much longer. Friday I fly out to Tampa, Florida. Your favorite men in yellow are performing at the Sarasota Ringling Medieval Faire. It has been a long time coming, but we are returning for a first-weekend engagement to the faire that spawned the Tortuga Twins. This will be the only time that we are performing in Florida this year - unless, of course something crops up later. Believe you me, we are going to take serious advantage of the limited friend-time we have in our home state, and maybe even take in a Super Bowl party or three.

When last we left our intrepid hero (me - duh!), I was continuing my western sojourn with a trip to Palm Springs, California. While there, I stayed with semi-former rennies Danielle Dupont and husband, Will Lubrano. Though still involved with the rennie circuit through her creation the Washing Well Wenches, Danielle & Will have segued into the corporate world via their Internet company ClassicShaving.com. Here they sell "Straight Razors - Safety Razors - Wet Shaving & Men's Grooming Supplies" to the United States and beyond.

While there, I even picked up a straight razor for myself. What the hell - how hard can it be? My bloodied face each morning is a testament to the fact that shaving with a straight razor is a fine art that must be practiced often if you want to master it. I'm getting better... and less bloody. Why put myself through this self-mutilation? It's one more thing to be a-teachin' myself, and it strikes a groovy chord with my metro-sexual inner male. Yeah sure, I still won't jump out of a perfectly good airplane with a parachute strapped to my back, but I'll merrily slice razor-sharp steel against my face and throat. Go figure.

 

Danielle and Will

Will and me at sushi

Screenplay Panel: John Anderson, Temistocles Lopez, Gramham Flashner, and Jerry Rapp

While in Palm Springs, I attended a writing seminar at the Palm Springs International Film Festival. I wanted to catch a couple of the movies shown there, but time did not allow. The seminar I did attend was How to Write for the Independent Film World. Presenting the seminar was theWriter's Boot Camp, which "... provides a number of intensive programs aimed at teaching aspiring screenwriters the craft and familiarizing them with the tools needed for successful screenwriting."

The panel consisted of John Anderson from Newsday, screenwriter/director Temistocles Lopez, and screenwriters Gramham Flashner and Jerry Rapp. Feel free to check out the Internet Movie Database for "rap sheets" on the last three. The seminar was fun and informative - but mostly because I'm a writer, curious about the ins and outs of writing screenplays. For the rest of you... it would probably be about as entertaining as math is for me. Don't worry; I won't bore you with the dreary details.

After Palm Springs, it was onward and upward to Las Vegas, Nevada and the NATPE07 convention. "NATPE is a global, non-profit organization dedicated to the creation, development and distribution of televised programming in all forms across all mature and emerging media platforms." So it says on their website, and we were about to get a taste of what that meant - playing as we now were in a much larger sandbox than your tights-wearing trio are used to.

We stayed at the Mandalay Bay Hotel and Casino, where the conference was taking place in its convention center. I have spent time at the Rio and the Luxor, and I was highly impressed with the splendor and the luxury that comprised the Mandalay Bay. I would happily stay there again.

 

Our Booth, Sweet Booth Click on the booth for a full-size pic!

Welcome to NATPE07

Ronn making his Tortuga Pitch

In the convention hall itself, everywhere we looked were wall-to-wall television concepts - each booth representing a studio, production company, or hopeful TV show. Our booth was in a corner space, and measured up quite nicely. Jef did an amazing job of designing and laying out the eight-foot blowups with our logo and pictures of the three of us. Truth be told, we held our own in the space provided, and can now do this again or something similar without too much sweat off our collective brow.

Ronn put his considerable sales ability to work, pushing our product and us to anyone curious enough to stop and check out our booth and the two flat screens we had running. Ronn's ability lies in that he can operate a conversation with anybody, maintaining a comfortable air of clever wit and charm. This proved to work quite well with the LA types, as they are used to swimming in a sea of... "charm."

And yours truly? What did I do? You know me - this and that. I kept busy and I provided backup for my boyz.

Sprinkled throughout the convention were television stars a-plenty. I personally saw Howie Mandel, Janice Dickinson, Pauly Shore, and Kato Kaelin. Ronn and Jef saw/took pix of scads more, so make sure you check out their journals.

 

Our neighbors from DVD Geeks

Oh No! It's Kato!

Ronn yuks it up with The Mooks

While there, we took the opportunity to tape our pitch for the Tonight Show's Pitch To America segment. The Tonight Show sends camera crews to different trade shows across the country, and they tape people pitching their products. They then air the footage, and the Tonight Show studio audience votes (verbally) on whether they think the product was "Sold" or "Not Sold." And, of course, Jay makes his comments - in fun; nothing too mean. The producers at the Tonight Show called and told us that we would be airing in the segment on Wednesday, January 31. However - as I'm sure you know by now - somehow they opted to leave us out. It is currently the morning after the event. I am going to call today to see what went wrong, and if we can get a copy of the footage shot. Don't worry; we'll keep you posted as to what I find out.

Bad picture of a yummy bartender at the Burger Bar

Tortuga end-of-show coffee break

Thus comes the end to yet another of my long-winded journals. I do not intend on leaving you with a sour note, so here comes my Pollyanna (always looking on the bright side) twist. As with any let down, we are all feeling the bite of disappointment. However, we know that at the end of the day, we are going to be successful. This experience will strengthen us - shining a light on where we can improve our tactics for the next time - and it might even open a door or two that may have remained otherwise closed. You never know.

Remember that many of the American Idol runner-ups now have better careers than the winners... and Vanessa Williams, after her Miss America downfall due to the Penthouse release of her nude spread, picked herself up and rose to superstardom as an actress and a role model to young women everywhere.

So, don't cry for us, Tortugaholics - remember we always loved you... . (I can hear Madonna singing "Evita" even now.) This by no means spells the end to our quest for Bigger, Badder, Better, More - it only clearly marks the beginning. I look forward to regaling you with stories of our successes in the months to come!

Until then, keep looking up and reaching to create your own destiny. We are.