Our journals are supposed to be to Andy by the 25th of each month, so that they can be edited and posted by the first of the month. We have all been late from time to time, and I have rather cleverly interpreted the deadline as 11:59pm one minute before the 26th.
None of this explains why I am typing this journal on May 2nd!
I’ve been busy, (sheesh, when haven’t I?) and on top of things, Andy only wants me to include nine to twelve photos, and my initial count is 25... I’m going to go eliminate some now.
Okay, I have narrowed my photos for this month to sixteen, and left the others to Andy’s discretion.
 Muggy's gonna get his ass kicked |
Here’s what I am going to cover in this month’s Journal:
- AZ Meet and Greet
- Being Sick
- Traveling cross country
- Being Sick
- The mad scramble in GA
- Being Sick
- My fun in MOSI
- Being Sick
- Working in Georgia
- Being Sick again!
- A fan club member visits
- Shopping and a day of fun with my honey
- Other fun stuff in Georgia
- A day of fun with the twins and our S.O.s
- Did I Mention I was engaged?!!!
So let’s go!
Oh before we go any further, there are a whole lot of interesting things going on politically, right now... but there is so much other crap I have to write about, they will have to wait... but I WAS very impressed by Stephen Colbert’s speech at the White House Correspondents dinner... standing just 8 feet from our President. [I was highly impressed by this vid - I know it's 24 minutes long and a hefty download, but absolutely worth it. Jon Stewart called it "Ballsilicious" and I can only agree - AB]
SO -
I had a lot of stuff going on for the final weekend of the Arizona Renaissance Festival. Enjoying my new Fiancée for example... (More on that). Panicked packing and rearranging of our schedule due to the surprise, last minute, addition to our schedule of an appearance at our Home Festival in Florida... (They wrote us a letter on the Monday before the last weekend of AZ, begging us to work the MOSI festival’s closing weekend.) Heather had to reschedule a bunch with her boss, and then the only way to work out the schedule was to have us drive quickly to Atlanta, and then have me fly out for the weekend to Florida... And we had our meet and greet to attend... But to complicate matters, I caught a seriously vicious cold.
Actually it was more like four or five colds... first a head cold, a chest cold a throat cold... some sort of stomach-monster... I joked with everyone that it was all due to the chickens my Asian fiancée had brought over from China... ("Bird Fru", Get it?) But I was seriously ‘illing’. I don’t get sick... well maybe once every two years, but this was horrible. We cut the pirate show from the schedule for the final weekend. I didn’t want to kiss the fella and make him sick. This started just after we agreed to come to Florida - I don’t think there was a connection - but it just got worse and worse. Our meet and greet had been scheduled for weeks... I would have cancelled out... Riki and Jef had Okayed it, but I just couldn’t let down the fans that way. I was off my "A-game", but still had a lot of fun.
The bar has been set folks... the AZ Meet & Greet was great fun... and we cannot wait to do THAT again.
So we finished the final weekend of AZ, frantically packed our house and goods... and began the harried cross country drive. I got off lucky this time, because we got to save more than five hundred miles by going directly to Atlanta - instead of down to Tampa. And it was exciting because it was a whole new route (I-20 instead of the normal I-10).
But I was still sick... I left piles of Kleenex in trash barrels all across the country.
This trip was also more fun because I had more company than normal.
Traditionally my only company on these trips is London. London is my co-pilot... sharing the truck with me, stealing my seat when I leave the truck for a minute, and even sleeping on my head while we rest for the night.
 AZ Meet and Greet |
 London is my co-pilot |
 The Cat is a Hat |
We drive in separate vehicles, and chat constantly on our walkie-talkies. She is a fun and cool companion, and the trip was much more pleasant.
In 2005 as I departed the Phoenix site, I noted that the most expensive gas I had seen all year, and expected to see all year was at the overpriced gas station just outside the site. That diesel price was $2.57 a gallon.
As I approach Meridian Mississippi, in 2006 I am excited by how cheap the gas is on this leg of the trip... the cost for a gallon of diesel? $2.57
There were other changes as well... Even "Damnation Alley" has changed this year, it is loads more fun to have Heather with me, but due to the Sprint/Nextel merge I even have service here... there are even more exits open!
And she’s just always fun to hang out with. It is like we are like 17 year-olds dating... As we walk into the IHOP in Dallas, the Beatle song: "Michelle my belle" is on, we start dancing in the lobby to the amusement of the other guests and the workers.
Heather and I are such Muppets, on a flight a few months ago - we were singing "close to you" together on the airplane... fortunately no one could hear over the engine noise.
Oh, I mentioned that I wasn’t going to politicize... in the next journal I want to write about the Pedophilia scandal in Homeland Defense and more... but I listen to Air America on XM radio during the long trip cross-country... here is a quote you MUST hear: Randi Rhodes on Bush authorizing (in writing) the outing of Valerie Plame, undercover operative, "I didn’t know they made a can of worms this big. It is so big it could feed and entire worm eating family for ten years, without missing a meal... or a snack!"
So, we get to Atlanta finally, I’m still sick, and because we cannot get into the on-site campground for the fair until Saturday, I have to pay to set-up Heather and our House/Trailer in a campground a few miles away. Ironically enough; I set her up for Friday, Saturday and Sunday night... I return on Monday AM and we leave... I never actually sleep at the campground I pay for.
 Heather didn't like me flying to Florida |
I felt bad leaving Heather alone... I asked the nice lesbian campground lady to keep an eye on my sweetie... oddly enough she was happy to!
Heather also wasn’t happy to have me leaving; we haven’t slept apart since she moved in, back in December...
There was a lot of scrambling to do. Some quick repairs to the trailer, and some set-up... I couldn’t leave my honey without satellite TV for the weekend. I had just enough time to pack, shower, and then have Heather drive me to the airport. I grabbed a sandwich there, a drink (or several) and flew to Tampa.
I was still sick. My voice was scratchy, my throat was sore; I had these huge glandular swellings... (Get you mind out of the gutter!) But I think I was no longer contagious.
Riki picked me up the Tampa airport, took me to my GREAT hotel, and dropped me off.
Jef had made arrangements with one of our wonderful fans... who just happened to be the Sales Honcho at Amerisuites. (Thanks Brenda Holloway!) Not only was the room (okay, suite!) wonderful, but it was pre-stocked with beer and with candy... and (in an amusing surprise) a bowl of Green M&Ms!
What a shame I was still sick.
Saturday morn dawned bright and early, real breakfast downstairs, change into my ‘silly-suit’ and meet Jef and Sharon for the quick drive to the fair.
We had just come from our most successful and lucrative engagement (ever) at the AZ ren fair... to go from the Magnificent Boathouse stage to the significantly more low-rent one in Florida... left me disappointed. I wrote a little message backstage lamenting the stage and my good friend Muggsy.
But there were a lot of things to like about our visit. We got to connect with a lot of dear friends on both sides of the stage. (Which is to say fellow performers and amazing fans)
Miss Anesa, (from Bunnies in Peril) brought us early, Easter peeps (yummy!) which I viciously devoured
 Our magnificient MOSI stage |
 My backstage graffiti: "We miss boathouse and Muggsy" |
 Dare I eat a Peep? |
Finally, after a long, sick, trying weekend, (with Beer shows and reunions no less) Jef and Sharon drove me back to my hotel where our trip came to an end. That’s Jef’s butt by the way!
 John and Misti |
 The end of my Florida trip |
 Not qualified to build |
Part of the deal, since Heather had to leave AZ before doing the breakdown, was that I would help her boss with the set up here in Georgia. Her boss Jack is a swell guy... but he doesn’t really understand me. I thought he had hired me mostly for muscle... moving boxes and whatnot... but he mostly wanted me for some light construction. I’m not really qualified for that (and I told him so) but I did the best I could. I built some nice shelves and what not... as well as did the "tote and carry" thing.
Here’s a little secret: I made a mistake on measurements when I built the shelving unit... If Heather hadn’t come along at the last minute with a brilliant suggestion, I would have looked really dumb! With her suggestion I looked really clever and competent... "Behind every good man..." and all that.
I was finally recovering from being ill, which is good since Heather and I were putting in L-O-N-G days setting up the booths for Jack and her... by Thursday I was recovered enough to go our for wings and a restaurant I had been waiting all year to go to. We met an old friend (and her fella) for dinner, wings, beer, and conversation... but I made the mistake of ordering a Bison Burger... a bison burger which was bad (duh, duh, duhn!)
Half way through Friday, I started to have serious issues... let’s just say I was unpleasant from BOTH ends of me!
I was still on very weak legs for the Saturday (opening) show, finally by Sunday all was right in the various systems of Ronn... that should hold me over on my ‘Sickness Quotient" for the next couple o’ years.
Weekend two, Katy T (Miss Torture... don’t ask!) made the trip from Minnesota’s Arctic Tundra for some laughter therapy. She is such a cool fan Riki and I took her out to breakfast at Waffle House (You Minn-e-SNOW-tons don’t have those, do ya?).
Somewhere in here, Heather and I took a long day of window shopping and shenanigans... We found an outlet mall south of the city... Heather was ecstatic, I was being goofy, there is a bit of a political joke here... and then finished the day with more shopping, and some dining in Atlanta’s arts and alternative district... Little Five Points. We had Tapas, we had Mojitos, and we had smoochies... a lovely day.
 Fan Club member Katy T |
 As close as I'll get to the GOP |
 Two of my favorite things: Mojitos and my baby |
Finally, Heather and I, Jef and Sharon, and Riki and... well Riki--- all went out to a "Twins Day of Fun". It started with a business meeting (and drinks) at a steakhouse, moved to a Best Buy buying spree, margaritas, movies (with the entire theater empty except for us) followed by drinks at one restaurant, then finally moving to a final restaurant for dinner and drinks.... Ahhhhhh.
 Our freaky cat eats corn chips! |
 We got a private showing |
So finally, umm... I’m engaged!
Let me tell you how it happened:
I knew almost immediately that I was going to marry Heather. I picked out, and picked-up the ring in January. And immediately started teasing my sweetie.
 Ronn and Heather at Little Five Points |
I knew before I ever picked the ring out, that I was going to propose on my favorite day, the day I would have chosen to have my birthday on...
April Fool’s Day!
Say what you will, that is just the way I am wired.
In fact, during one of our final parties in KC, with all of Heather’s extended family, I even told them when and how I was gonna propose.
I told them it would be April First, and before giving Heather the real ring... I would give her a cheesy, cracker-jack-prize ring.
So how was I going to implement this plan?
Well, all of the stuff with the empty box was part of the set-up... preparing my baby for the joke... But...
Okay, you guys have been reading my journals and ramblings for awhile... so you know I am very skeptical about (almost) all paranormal phenomena - that being said, My girlfriend (excuse me) my Fiancée has a creepy ability to read my mind or somehow figure crap out.
With no hints from me: she managed to figure out the cut and size of the ring, and had asked several times if I was going to propose on April Fools Day.
EEEK!
Mind you, I never confirmed that she was right. In fact, every time she asked about the ring, I told her it was "yellow gold, heart-shaped diamond, and a full tenth-of a carat" (the antithesis of what she wanted, and what I got - btw)
So with her uncanny, possibly supernatural ability to figure stuff out... I had to be especially crafty...
Then there was the whole question as to where to propose... You see I was facing two problems here - we hadn’t formed any romantic connections to any place in Phoenix... and there weren’t any nice restaurants that didn’t have memories or attachments to girls I had dated in the past. Further, if I asked her to go to a fancy restaurant she would definitely figure it out.
Mind you... to throw her off the scent I started talking for weeks about a big dinner I wanted to take her out to on April first.
It sure wasn’t easy to fool the amazing-psychic-soon-to-be fiancée... especially when my mother almost spoiled the surprise a few times...
So let’s see: fake ring, real ring, plan, all I needed was a place. I originally planned on asking Heather on a festival day, dragging her on stage to ask her in front of screaming fans. But she made me promise to do nothing along those lines (damned psychic).
I thought, as a back up plan; to propose on the stage, late at night (with Princes Bride projected on a huge screen overhead) - but it would be too dark to see the fake ring and appreciate the elaborate joke. So where, in all of the deserts near Phoenix is the single most romantic place, special for Heather and me?
It came to me in a flash! I always tell people; that the first night, our first date together in twelve years, as Heather laid her head upon the pillow, I knew I could wake up every day for the rest-of-my-life with her. SO...
Friday night, (the night BEFORE the First) Heather and I went out to dinner, Thai food.
We came home, made out a little, and did some housework... She was watching television. At 3 minutes past midnight I called her into our bedroom...
"Honey, could you come in here please?" I asked
"What did I do wrong now?" she only half-jokingly asked
"Look", I said, while gesturing at the ring box sitting on the pillow.
"What’s that?" she said.
"What does it look like?" I innocently asked.
Heather then warned, "This better not be an April Fool’s Day Joke."
"Well, go ahead and open it," I said.
"No, you open it."
"No, YOU open it," Heather insisted.
"What..." I said continuing my innocent act "...do you want me on one knee?"
"Yes" was her reply.
So right there in the most romantic spot in all of Phoenix, I got down on one knee and presented the ring box to Heather.
I proffered the same white leather box with which I had been tormenting Heather for months now, drawing her gaze, and when the moment was right--- I opened it.
Inside was a costume ring, yellow-gold-plated... with a tiny chip of glass where a diamond should be (not heart-shaped as I had been claiming all along, but about a tenth of a carat... hey what can you expect for a quarter from a costume shop in Mesa, AZ?)
 Almost looks real, don't it? |
Knowing it was the pay-off of an elaborate joke, it was fun to watch the various emotions run rampant across my beloved’s face; joy, wonder, but as her eyes found the chintzy little ring... it was rather amazing to see her try to contain the disappointment on her face... until slowly her face showed the dawning realization that she was being had...
I watched the surprise, shock... and (slowly) anger start a fire in my baby’s eyes... and then I said; "April’s Fools!"
She threw the fake-ring at me... pretty good aim really, it bounced-off my third eye!
What the hell is wrong with me that for the single most important moment of my life, I have to make a joke, a show out of it?
When Heather finally realized that she was completely taken in by the joke she buried her face in her pillow and moaned, loudly, "I cannot believe I fell for that crap again!"
I said to her; (as she flailed around dramatically) "Heather? Heather? Heather!? Why don’t you look at this one, ding-dong?"
She looked out from behind her pillow sheepishly; saw a completely different ring-box... "Heather, will you marry me?"
This time it was much more fun to watch the joy, pleasure, and astonishment cross her face. She went from hiding behind the pillow, to jumping up-and-down in the bed with silly, girl-like glee.
Eventually, I asked, "Does this mean yes?"
It did.
So this finishes this month's very, very, belated journal entry.
Loads more going on... I’ll catch you up next time.
