I Am An Empress…

We are all fools whether we dance or not, so we may as well dance. 
- Japanese ProverbIt is LATE in November; I am sitting in what my beloved not unfairly describes as a landfill, outside of Hammond, Louisiana. On our ridiculously big television Medium is showing (we just finished with America's Next Top Model). Heather is cooking in the kitchen, some yummy chicken dish, (wonder what photo Andy will come up with for that?) [I'm not your pet monkey, to dance to your tune, boyo - I'll put in the pix I want, when I want - AB]  I am once again naked, typing the October journal.

I have just gone over the meager selection of photos from this month (been too busy to take a load of photos this month, that will make our Andy happy); I also asked my personal secretary (which-is-to-say, Heather) to look over the outline for this month's journal... to see if I have missed anything.

October began this year while we were still in Minnesota. Money-sota. The overall attendance for the faire seemed to be a bit down, but our last show of the Minnesota season, always a wild, record setter - and TRULY the standard for out-of hand craziness - surpassed our wildest expectations. Sexy porno-girls, Jedi knights versus Captain Kirk, and the single largest tip collection of all time. We made as much in that one show as we make in an entire weekend, even a good weekend, at any other fair.

But it is not the money... (Or even the stuff the money can buy, you little cynics)... it is just so amazing being onstage with audiences, fans like that. I couldn't possibly describe how amazing it is. I couldn't describe how wild those shows get, or how much fun we have. But I don't have to.

Look in future journal for the recording we made of that show, just for you guys.

 

I will not tiptoe through life only to arrive safely at death.
- UnknownThe trip from Minneapolis to Charlotte, (1384 miles by the route we take) was exactly the way I like it to be. So uneventful as to be completely forgettable. I always pack my digital voice recorder and my digital camera, just in case anything noteworthy happens... we drove, I listened to talk radio, we ate, and we walked the dog-lette, and ignored the cat. We chatted on the walkie-talkies (but not from 8pm to midnight Eastern time... that's when the best news shows are on) we slept in some parking lot somewhere... probably at a Wal-Mart. Eventually, and not soon enough we arrived at our destination.

I'm sure that this particular trip Jef and Sharon would have gladly traded places with us. The handsome-est Tortuga is really behind on his journal, but I'm sure that eventually he'll relate his trailer catastrophe to our devoted readers, so it is not my story to tell.

The Charlotte show is a very special one to me... it is more or less my home. I have done this fair since its inception, thirteen years. It is the place I dine out the most at. It is the place I am (hopefully) going to settle down in one day (maybe... if I ever DO settle down and Heather approves). It is loads of fun, and I am very in love with the show, the fans and the area...

The theatre we chose for Palooza

Charlotte is also my busiest, most hectic fair all year... which is also why I dine out so much.

The past few years I have even given-up signing up for the gym... because besides all of the normal Tortuga concerns, I also run our rose business at the Charlotte show, and annually I travel to Louisiana to prepare my maze. The Charlotte and Louisiana shows overlap by three weeks.

Now, when you add in that I have some of my closest friends in this area... and Heather and I want to hang out with these folks a bunch (I'm writing about you Defeos, and Robbie & April), that there is a Palooza to prepare for, a new show to write for Boo and Broo - well, spare time is at a premium.

I knew that between the second and third weekend was to be three student days, and before the fourth weekend was Boo and Broo... so Heather and I took a few days off after the first weekend.
Ahhh bliss.
We still managed to squeeze a little socializing in, Frank and Kelly, Brianna... and some time to just sit home and do nothing.
Still it wasn't until just before the end of October that I finally got time to see a movie. I love Movies, but haven't been to one since July... Saw III by the way. Creepy.

 

The Best-Laid Schemes o' Mice an' Men Gang Aft Agley.
- Robbie Burns, scottish poetI am impressed by how humbling the weather can be. One of the student days was rescheduled due to very nasty weather. The other two were slow, but very profitable for the Tortugas (we love selling flowers to the children).

The following week Boo and Broo was cancelled too... not just rainy, but freezing too.

We used the time to surprise a very good friend for her birthday.
We have met a lot of cool folks in our travels. Some are fans... special fans, but fans none the less. Some become friends... and some... Sharyn Watson for example, Become family. Another example of my extended family; Frank and Kelly Defeo.

Frankie D, and the Missus started as Tortuga Fans to be sure but have grown to be very important, grown to be family to my missus and me.

Last year we Tortugas chose to use Kelly as one of our ‘picks' (audience participants) for the Boo and Broo show as a birthday surprise. This year Frank invited us to be part of the surprise party.

Jef was also competing at a costume contest that night... so Kelly got Jack Sparrow at her surprise party.

 

Women at the birthday bash

Kelly D and Twins SURPRISE

A Jack Sparrow birthday

 

I am an Empress; any guy in a dress can be a Queen.
- Ronn Bauman

Heather helps me pack

So, after the cancelled B & B and a non-cancelled and taxing weekend. Sunday night in NC saw me packing, I had to pack up my goodies, my tools, and mask and my tuxedo, and make the annual working trip down to Louisian way!
Heather helped.

I got up and left long before dawn, and made the twelve hour drive.

Last Year I added a Hi-Strike (Test of Strength) to my growing games empire in the Bayou. I was convinced by my employee that I would make even more if I added a scaled-down child's game - so I did.

Also each and every year the Maze becomes overgrown with massive weeds... my first day is spent bush hogging. To make matters more inviting this ridiculously large spider had taken up residence in my labyrinth. Riki has mortal terror of spiders - if he'd seen this monster he'd have run screaming. Don't let me fool ya' - I was also very dicey around Shelob here...

 

Weeds, dude

Bush-hogging

Monster in the Maze

The original plan, ticket bought and paid for, was since Halloween was on a Tuesday, and Heather had work to do in NC, was to fly her down to celebrate with all the Tortugas, and the Tortuga wife. We had, I am told, a great room in the quarter and some really cool plans. Heather had a sexy Red Riding Hood outfit picked out, and I had a dapper gray tux and a wolf mask... Then our dog started having seizures.

Heather has had Jasmine long before I came along. Fifteen years. There is just no way we'd be able to live with ourselves if something really bad happened while we were partying for Halloween.

Riki and Jef will I am sure tell you all about their adventures in the quarter, our great room, and the wild times in New Orleans. I just went over to my Mother's new home... conveniently only twenty minutes away.

Her long-time boyfriend has sold his metal shop in New Orleans and has purchased a bunch of acres near Hammond. He is building this really cool, innovative plantation-style home... but first he built a huge (150 by 30) workshop, with a quaint one room apartment.

Up each morning before dawn, back each evening long after dark, (drive-through daiquiri in hand) and I slept on the pull out couch at the foot of Mom and Frank's bed. (They both snore by the way)

 

Frank's workshop

The clever apartment

Really up at dawn

That about sums up the trip.

I made the long drive back, the dog is fine. (But heavily medicated, imagine a stoned, senior dog.) The maze is making moolah, the new test of strength was a lucrative addition, I have a mask for next year's Halloween... and that about sums it all up... except for this.

I keep a list of snippets, thoughts and topics written down as fodder for my journal... I wrote this one a while back, and found a little addition to it - thought you might like it.

Eastern Medicine has given us some stuff, but WESTERN medicine has given us:
- Viagra, instead of tiger's balls, or Rhino horn
- It has given us insulin antibiotics... can your CHI top that?

Eh hem...and from where do you think some "western medicine" derived from my pet? You are so quick to pass judgment on eastern medicine and practices that you forget that most western docs have forgotten how to treat and help patients without over-medicating them on needless meds....not to mention my darling that if it wasn't for eastern medicine you wouldn't have your lovely and feisty me....so HAH! I do believe that I have topped it....

Love you - H