So I’m running a few days late on this journal, and there’s LOADS to report.
First I better start with two retractions/clarifications:
First - The lovely Naomi has pointed out that though I mentioned that she might be trying to pick-up the Bond Girls, I never mentioned that she WAS a Bond Girl... oops! In fact, the Bond segment’s shoot was scheduled around Naomi’s arrival... she was a Bond Girl, first and foremost... and looked damn sexy doing it. (Happy now Blondie?)
Second, In what can only be described as a Prince Harry (or is it Andrew?) moment... a few Journals ago I wrote about when Riki and I visited the D-Day Museum... while we were there Riki took a photo of me standing pensively in front of an array of Nazi weapons, and a huge swastika flag. I foolishly included this photo in the Journal with a caption reading something about ‘my German Heritage’... that just doesn’t look right... Again, oops!
So... on with the journal:
I have had a budget-busting time recently... Shortly after I arrived in St. Pete this winter, my truck had a breakdown that set me back about 400 dollars (and car rental). No big deal... but Günter (my HUGE black truck) has better than 150K miles on him now... and things are starting to ‘go’. I have been nursing a bad rotor (brakes) for a few months, because there is a mechanic here in the desert that I actually trust, but on the trip I also fried my transmission... I made the cross-country trip just fine, but it certainly added to my stress level, and subtracted from my comfort level hearing that horrible grinding, whirring noise the entire voyage, and not knowing if I would make it.
The trip was easy, other than that. I just purchased a TV/DVD combo that runs off of a 12 volt outlet my trailer is equipped with. I watched parts of a couple of different movies when I stopped to rest for the night. XM radio kept me amused and awake during the day. I tend to drive into late in the night.
Here’s an interesting quirk: As the trip wears on, I get bored, break-out my cellphone, and start calling old friends. The plus side of this is that about every two months I re-connect with folks I haven’t spoken to in awhile.
I love Arizona, I love my RV spot here... I have 30 amp power, and a sewer line. I don’t have quite the magnificent view that Jef and Sharon have... but if you never had to worry about turning off your computer so you could dry your hair... or had to sneak out in the middle of the night to drain shower-water onto the ground, because the sanitation truck wasn’t scheduled to be here for a few days... you can’t really appreciate how great that is.
April and I had a very LOUD, unpleasant break-up... and in so doing pissed-off a lot of or neighbors (this was years ago). Part of my punishment was to be moved over to this other campground. I LOVE my neighbors; I walk two minutes to morning meeting at work. I stop back here for lunch. It’s quiet ... This is my most pleasant living condition for the year.
Right as soon as I got here, Günter went into the shop... between the rebuilt transmission and the rental car, the repairs set me back 2600 smackers... after the $300+ for brakes and whatnot... I budgeted differently this year, so I wasn’t hurting for any moolah - but I watched my once-sizable investment savings dwindle away to effectively ZERO.
At least, after the winter lay-over it was finally show time... time to make money right? Not so fast, Sparky! Opening weekend weather was dismal, and we had to compete with both the Phoenix Open, and a minor little Sunday sports event called the Super Bowl.
To call our opening ‘soft’ would be a very euphemistic. Weekend two proved even worse. It states on the ticket and programme that this show will be open 'rain or shine', but apparently that doesn’t mean 'and flooded so bad you cannot get past the front gate...' For the first time in only 17 years, The Arizona Renaissance Festival didn’t open on its second Saturday. A standard day at this show is about 12,000 folks; a busy day 17,000 and I have been here when there were more than 22,000. Our first three days of the four we were scheduled to open we TOTALED around 13,000 - and our wallets reflected it.
So let’s see, massive car repairs, crappy weather, sparse crowds, mud everywhere, a minor leak in my trailer... how can we make this worse?
Let’s have student days!
Actually, I don’t hate student days... I like them better in Charlotte because we own the rose concession... but we do four fifteen-minute shows for student days and receive a full day’s pay. The students are appreciative of what we do, which, by the way, is a cleaned up version of our ‘R’ rated show... On the younger kid’s day it's 'Heck' and 'Darn'. On high-school days its 'Hell' and 'Damn'.
So we had Monday off after the second weekend, worked Student Days Tuesday and Wednesday, had Thursday and Friday off, and then it was time for the three-day weekend. Weekend three rained also for Saturday and Sunday... clearing up to a respectable day for Monday... Monday was really our first 'day' at this fair. We were starting to get tired, disappointed, and going slowly broke! As well as cursing the dammed weather. The ongoing joke: this is the rainiest damn desert we’ve ever been to!
In other Twins-work news: We have been busting our hump for TortugaPalooza Two. Our ticket sales are slower than we’d like... and that’s in a bigger venue. But we’re approaching our marketing differently, even hiring a guy whose sole job is to get the word out... I’m sure we’ll be fine, I hope.
[Don't forget, you Fan Club Members can buy tickets at a discount, 'cause we love you that little bit extra..! - AB]
In some ways we’re so much further ahead than we were last year at this time... we have fewer video segments, and we planned better, so theoretically we won’t have to have Jef editing videos the day of the show. But last year at this time we’d done more rehearsals... And this show is more like a play... we won’t be able to fake and fluff our way through it as much. I’m sure we’ll be fine... mostly sure... a little sure!
I got to give Mad Props to my boys; Riki has taken on monumental tasks and written most of the dialogue, as well as taking charge of a bunch of the projects... we’d have so much less to show you, (and sell you) if it weren’t for the vast array of technical skills possessed by Jef... let me lament once again for our lost two-day workweek. All three of us work, eat, and sleep TortugaPalooza, (and other Twin Projects) about 24 hours a day. Riki is usually up by five, and goes straight to work, it is not at all uncommon for me to be working away until 4 am... and Jef barely has time with Sharon anymore... many are the dinners which have cooled in front of him while he slaves away on the computer. I think I will try to push for a hiatus from Twin work, after the April 29th show, until we get to GLMF... but who am I kidding; we’d all go mad after a week.
Believe it or not part of twin work is trying to look good for you, our fans. I mentioned in an earlier journal that I would have to get back to a gym soon... I haven’t been since we left Minnesota! I noticed in some of the shoots we are doing for Palooza 2 that I am getting a little chubby... and I wear a very tight shirt for the show. Riki and I have been hitting the gym together, a LOT! I have changed my work out routine... to build muscle... in a few weeks, I’ll change it again, so I can really lean out. Wish me luck! Things are starting to firm up again... Damn I am such a girl!
I have also started tanning again; I hear the voice of that sweet Israeli dermatologist, horrified at the thought... Naomi suggests a sunless tanner she uses, but I don’t have that kind of patience. I also tan protectively... I hate that farmer's tan we Twins get.
So, we have been swamped with Palooza work, and deluged and disappointed with the fair so far... I suppose I should mention that they have opted to extend the AZ fair one weekend (to nine... now it will end on April 3rd). Our boss really pushed to have us there, but we’re already contracted for the final two weeks of Largo, besides we have to promote and sell TortugaPalooza... Yikes!
So, that covers most of the work-related stuff... in personal news: I LOVE this fair.
These are my favourite living conditions throughout the year. I have a nice mix of social life and alone time here... great balance. Saturday nights I go to the Barbecue hosted by some friends, (as well as watch boxing) Sunday night I go to the local bar we have co-opted... Throughout the year it is sort of a country/western place... On Sunday night they do Karaoke. Imagine the scene if you will, 100 or more, outlandish hippy/performer types, and six guys in big hats and buckles... singing, drinking, and creating drama together. In this - as in most social functions - I am a bit of a wallflower... I find a comfortable spot and chat with a friend or two... mixing a little. But it’s nice.
The best thing about this fair so-far social is an evening most ‘rennies’ don’t know about. There is a 'Gothic night' at a Scottsdale watering hole. The bar, and the scene, leaves a lot to be desired... Paling in comparison to ‘the show’ - the odd mix of characters and clothing, you’d find at the Castle in Ybor, or Ground Zero in Minneapolis... And I go to watch. But the DJ is awesome. Any more, when I go out for dancing, I maybe get one to three songs... they just don’t play a lot of stuff I love anymore... but this guy is trying to exhaust me! On the two Thursdays I have attended, I have danced to between 15 and 20 songs... A nice, sexy, aerobic workout. I don’t pay cover (the doorman is a fan) and on the first night there I was picked-up by a local stripper... yay!
I have a lot of friends here, have I mentioned that I love my neighbors? It’s interesting because:
So...
It looks like next year, and for the foreseeable future this fair will be starting a week later. Okay... What about our home show? What about MOSI?
This year we can only attend two weekends, where as in the past we could get three or even four... If the rest of the schedule remains the same, next year we’ll get one.
YIKES!
There are all these plusses and minuses to figure out ... and everything is on the table from dropping MOSI all together. To dropping AZ all together to forming a B-team. Sheesh! There is merit, and risk, gain and loss in each choice. When we know, you’ll know.
I’d hate to give up this fair, it’s the best paycheck all year, and we are very secure here... it is also a package deal with NC, which is my second favorite. But Jef has a house in Florida... they SWEAR they want to buy us away from AZ, and it cost Jef and I over a Thousand clams apiece to get here and back... Tampa Bay is our Home, and where we always start our Palooza shows... what a thorny dilemma!
So that’s work, No rest for the wicked Tortugas... as we prepare the new show, and keep running 'The Machine'.
 Eileen in the desert |
I want to mention some of our fans here too... First-off, if we ever start performing in Washington State, we’ll find thee audiences already warmed-up for us, and we know who our Chapter Head for the Fan club will be. Mary Egan! This sweet lady hosts Tortuga Twins parties, and takes our DVDs to conventions and gatherings she attends... we feel blessed to have a fan like this, and it was great to see her again. Occasionally one of our fans will tell us about experiencing a tough time in their lives, and how our simple madcap has helped them endure... again we feel blessed to be able in some small way, make their lives, and the world, a better place. Mary, we give you the title of Über-fan!
Also on the fan hit parade: Kirsten Jensen... a sweet, disturbed little girl. She makes her own Tortuga Twins T-shirts, usually rather naughty ones... writes fiction about us (featuring herself as the star), you can read the second edition and also look at/download a bunch of gifs/icons that she created in our Fan Area ... eventually we will put her to work on the second comic book... the first one is still be written by us... but its LOW on the list o’ shit to do!
[Hey you fans - you're all invited to create and send your Tortuga-inspired art to us as well! - AB]
Now as ravenous a fan as she is, at least she hasn’t written any of this: 'SLASH' fiction. I just heard of this phenomenon last week... mostly in Sci-fi and what not... it is sexual fiction involving two characters not normally linked... usually of a homo-erotic nature. I.e. Kirk/Spock or Luke/Han... well somewhere out there someone is writing about Scaramouche/D’Angelo, and Raphael/Scaramouche!
Creepy... but what the hell: Go for it!
And finally, socially:
Let’s see, I have spent several nights in a local Strip club, a girl I used to date ages ago is dancing at a nice bar nearby, and she is roomie-ing with another old, dear friend of mine... but no magic there.
The stripper who picked me up at the Goth bar and I went out for a night... nothing really there either.
And the Belly dancer I spent New Year’s with, (not Naomi, Eileen, from Georgia) asked if she could come visit. She is a pretty, intelligent, and fun woman and a sexual tiger... but to quote that tragically popular book: "I’m just not that into her..." It was a nice trip, I will see her again, but not for as long as she came out this time.
Which brings us full circle to Naomi:
You know it is funny; there is this woman, who has a bit of crush on me, who after becoming a member of the Fan Club, told me she couldn’t compete with Naomi.
Well of course not, who could?
 Naomi, THE Bond Girl |
But I am not Naomi’s boyfriend. Neither she, nor I, has that kind of claim on each other. She is brilliant, amazing, talented, BEEEE-youuuu-teee-full! But she is also young, committed to Charlotte, NC for a long time yet, and not quite as infatuated as I am. She has loads to do... and lots of life to experience. She told me from the beginning she wasn’t looking for anything too serious.
I have had a lot of fun with Naomi, and plan on still doing so... in one form or another. I will miss some of the sillier, romantic aspects though.
I think when all settles out we will be good friends, and share adventures together... We’re already pulling back a little, no heartbreak here, just a little melancholy... and look how lucky I have been! (And her too... I’m a catch!) So... no commiserations please, besides... who knows what the future will bring? (For her, for me or even for ‘Us’.)
There are some other peculiar events going on in my life... (I am constantly amazed at myself at how revealing I am... but I don’t tell you guys everything!) When I am ready you’ll hear more.
April was in a video... makes me smile... She seems to be mostly happy, and mostly healthy. We talk two or three times a week...
It’s Sunday night as I finish this, The Oscars are on, I have had a good and rich weekend, and even gotten the phone numbers of a couple of hot babes... we made money, we had fun --- and Wednesday we go talk to the boss about our future contracts.
My next travel Log should be a compilation from my stay in Phoenix.
