. I don’t fall in love often, I don’t even get smitten capriciously. I am a man who loves women.
---BUT---
I do not give my heart easily. I have had six... count ‘em SIX girlfriends in my whole life. (And one of those I can’t really count - she only stuck around for a month-and-a-half... darn you Melissa.)
---BUT---
Then let’s look at this year:
It started-out with me pining for Brandy... hoping things would finally resolve when I got to Phoenix. That didn’t happen
So I took my bitter little self off to Florida and found Melissa... quite by accident. Oddly enough both her and my original intent was "just a piece of ass"... and somehow I actually fell into a girlfriend (albeit briefly) a few months later. It happened when I wasn’t looking... Man that pisses me off!
Now I find I am actually interested in another girl... and if that weren’t complicated enough - They both read this journal.
---BUT---
To be fair to both girls.
To be fair to myself.
And to be fair to our gentle (and paying) readers - I am going to write this as if neither Melissa nor this new girl (you’ll find out more about her in a minute) are actually reading this. I’m going to present it as if I am talking to myself or my close friend...
 Check out my Ali G costume |
So:
Girls, Ronn, Friends, let’s talk about some girls. But first here’s what went on in November:
When last we left our Author and Hero he was preparing to go to the Formal in NC. Actually when I wrote the last I was actually dressed as Ali G. Well now it is late night in Hammond, Louisiana, and I am typing in the nude. I am always naked when I can get away with it. The formal went well enough... people dressed cute and politically (remember the theme was Politically correct) We had a [lady liberty] and some [peacenik hippies]. Osama Bin Laden was actually Lady Liberty’s date... the Election (the miserable defeat) was being played in the background. Lots of folks didn’t recognize me... though some did recognize Ali... Even [April at the Formal] stood a foot away from me for three minutes and didn’t realize it was I until I started talking!
The formal was kind of boring, it was farther away than we are used to, sparsely attended (because of the distance and election night) it was in a normal bar... I wasn’t really having a good time - Then Naomi called...
Naomi by the way is the girl who I spoke of before.
Background:
The Belly dancers at the Charlotte show last year did a modern performance at the cast party. It was hot and sexy, one of the biggest reason why is this amazingly beautiful dancer named Colette. Dances like a dream, and Yummy!
We are now hiring/auditioning dancers for our next Palooza... and of course we thought of Colette.
(This is a slightly compressed version of this story)
Colette (who is now dating my very good friend Muggsy (a.k.a. Ded Bob) sent me the promo material for the new troupe she is with... One particular dancer caught my eye. Tall, Blonde, Great dancer and great looks... I called Muggsy for more info on this particular girl.
"Her name is Naomi" Muggsy told me, "Colette won’t let me meet her because she is too beautiful." It is inconceivable that any girl could be so hot that Colette would be intimidated. But... WOW! I did the very mature thing any (almost) 40-year-old should do... I asked Colette to set me up with the girl... at least put in a good word with Naomi.
Would you believe she actually helped do just that?
There is also the fact that Naomi came out to the festival with Her Belly dance troupe. Trust me... other than the show I didn’t make a very good impression. I was a gibbering idiot. In fact I sent Naomi a rose explaining that there was something about her that made me into a sixth-grader, asking out his first girl again.
I gave Naomi my number, and she actually called while I was at the formal. I invited her out, she came, and we spent the whole night just talking.
Naomi.
 Naomi on our first date |
She is beautiful, easily... amazing. And tall... I have heard conflicting reports of her height stated as from between just under six feet to six-two. She is smart, maybe even brilliant. Definitely brilliant. She has been everywhere. Family in Germany, countless trips to the Orient, Romania... and we’re just getting started. Grad student in Art Administration, (4.0 average hmmmm!) And in the course of our conversation she tells me a few other things about herself, what she’s done, where she’s been... She was starting to sound like a dream girl...
I mentioned she’s pretty yes? Here’s a thing: lots of girls dream about getting into Playboy Magazine... Playboy is chasing Naomi. She did a little thing for them a while back... and they have been chasing her to do a centerfold since...
Did I say ‘Wow’ yet?
So sounds perfect right?
Nope.
The conversation didn’t quite flow... I felt I was seriously out of my league... I thought there was no connection... I felt it to be a terrible shame - sigh.
I had invited Naomi out to dinner some night soon... and was willing to give it another chance... see if there was anything there.
She called the next day to confirm our schedule.
Date two: smoother, I was also more 'Ronn'... hmmm. Dinner and drinks and lots more talking... I find myself ever more impressed by the girl... She’s funny, cute, has had adventures, HAS opinions... and has the same habit that I have of repeating stories... "did I tell you this already? Or was it someone else?" She showed me her artwork, some of her photos, told me stories of visiting gypsy villages... and partying at the Playboy Mansion.
In an earlier draft of this journal, one written entirely in my head I was going to introduce Naomi this way:
If I told you readers I met an amazing girl; and she was a [great belly dancer], you’d be impressed.
If I told you readers I met an amazing girl; and she is a brilliant grad student (who lately has been studying some fields that could be very helpful to artists like we Twins) you’d be impressed.
If I told you readers I met an amazing girl; and Playboy was chasing her, you’d be impressed.
If I told you readers I met an amazing girl; and she was a great and talented artist, you’d be impressed.
If I told you readers I met an amazing girl; and she makes me all giddy and schoolboy like - you’d understand...
But could you ever believe it was the same girl?
Off topic, briefly:
I spoke with my adopted sister Allison Williams a little while ago. She came out to visit in NC (she appears later in this journal) She pointed out what I consider to be a personality flaw... when I am asked, "How are you doing Ronn?" I invariably reply with information on the latest Twin project or triumph... and whatever girl-business I’m involved in at the time... And she’s right...
But in this journal I write about those things that are most topical, most entertaining and most important to me at that moment... and Naomi is quite a big deal to me right now.
Later in the date, I made some slick pass at the beautiful blonde babe... and guess what.
She shut me down!
There is, as I said, something about this girl that makes me goofy... and I STILL hope she never figures out that she’s outta my league...
I’m normally confident and competent. And pretty good at reading girls...
I left awkwardly a little while later.
Don’t worry... I’m not gonna give you a play-by-play description of all of our dates just this anecdote: I was sure I’d lost any chance of ever getting anywhere with this girl that was rapidly growing on me... But the next day she called me told me she’d had a wonderful time, and invited me to come see her dancing at some of her gigs in town.
I had somehow reached that charming zone - this girl liked me... even when I was ridiculous and UN-smooth.
Again, no play-by-play but the girl is growing on me ever more... I’m actually GLAD she cannot sing (I asked her) because everything about her is better than perfect. She even envies my traveling lifestyle. The more we talk the more I like her.
I’ll put it this way: I have explained before, that to me, the last night in a town is like the last dance of the evening... the one freighted with significance. Want to guess who I spent my last night in Charlotte with?
There are a lot of practical reasons this cannot go far... and who knows what is what, or what I feel or she feels... I live in the moment with things like this.
---BUT---
Right now I’m walking on clouds, and waiting for her to come visit me in Florida and Phoenix.
So is that enough Naomi for a second, guys?
(Later)
Oooh one last thing guys: In our many conversations the topic of the Asian dream-girl came up with Naomi... she expressed some surprise. Blonde Hair, blue eyes, tall, curvy, busty... She noted that she is a polar opposite of the Asian girls I admire. I let her know she had the single most important quality of all... She has strength, a confidence, and a presence that makes me want HER... Naomi, Just the way she is.
It is now the next Morning; I typed until almost three AM last night and am sitting (still naked) with Coffee and CNN Headline News trying to get this damn thing done. What were we talking about BESIDES Naomi?
Oh yeah... The formal was okay - but disappointing.
Performed some wild shows in Charlotte, met some cool people. I wrote last time about my trip to Louisiana for Twins work... I’m sure Andy will post it this time. [Yeah, yeah - I have a life too, ya know. It's posted now - AB]
My adopted Sister Allison came to visit... Allison Williams is one of my best friends, a fellow performer (the Daring Devilinis, Commedia Zuppa, Aerial Angels... and more!) She is such a talented and amazing woman... When she got married to her husband Todd, I was one of her bridesmaids. (I offered to wear a dress, but she preferred a tuxedo... something about wanting to be the center of attention at her own wedding... ) If I ever get married again my crew will be as follows:
| Best Man | John Talbert | ||
| Grooms man | Riki Robinson | ||
| Grooms man | Jef Hall | ||
| Grooms man | Ann Morelock/Frahley | ||
| If I get a another Groomsman | Allison Williams |
I guess I should marry a girl with a rich daddy! (If I want a party that big.)
*** Here’s a game to play with yourself: If you died today, what six people would you choose to be your Pall Bearers?
It was nice to see Ally again, catch up with her and bounce ideas off her (both career and general philosophy). She actually went to see Naomi dance with me...
Now we’re not gonna talk about Naomi again except: When I am talking to her I frequently forget how lovely, striking, arrestingly beautiful she is... I don’t think of her on a minute-by-minute basis as a ‘Girl’... One of the best gifts of being 40 I guess. But when she dances - *gulp* she is something else entirely.
Now we Twins have been very busy during this year... I have checked out a Theater in Charlotte that I want to be the venue for TortugaPalooza 2 (Spies!), we’ve purchased a new and swanky video camera... we’re gonna do a lot more of our own videos this time. And we have some amazing stuff that we’re writing for Palooza 2... Jef got us an amazing deal on a new video rig... using his patented Jef luck/magic... And we have a new show up-and-running. We wrote a brand new Pirate show for the BOO and Broo... and we are now performing it as our fourth show. I suggest you see it now, because in a year it will be vastly different. It is the Tortuga Way. We write all of this crap into the show, knowing some of the jokes stink... and knowing that a lot of the stuff will write itself in performance... I have even included a home video of the Twins working on this show... and my view on one particular joke, so you can see our creative process.
Holy Shit! I am six pages in, and I haven’t even left Charlotte yet.
 Melissa doing rose paperwork |
So we finish Charlotte, and I have a speedy but uneventful trip to Louisiana. Riki headed directly to Florida, with our props, merchandise and sound gear. Jef and I had to drive to Louisiana with our trailers, set ‘em up, oversee our various businesses (Jef runs the Twins Games in LA, I run The Twins Rose biz... and my own Maze).
Melissa was actually working for us there... I had had the Devil’s own time staffing roses, and she was going through a horrible, ugly custody battle for her son... Her Jackass ex actually manipulated things so she was kicked-out of the Texas festival. Needing work, and driving right by Louisiana on the way home... and I needed her. Synchronicity or serendipity?
I was actually nervous about seeing her... I figured enough distance, and time was between us we’re only gonna be friends... but as I truthfully describe her...
She is a hole in my armor.
She did a great job with roses, sold her butt off. And was exactly the sort of bean counter you’d want being responsible for your company’s money. Only one mistake was made. I hugged and kissed her when I first got there.
Did I mention that she is a hole in my armor?
I took her, her son Isaiah, and Kate (who has taken over rose sales for the departing Melissa) out to dinner... afterwards she did paperwork at my house. I was grumpy, tired, and short-tempered... damn armor holes. You know, I just noticed that I haven’t posted many really HOT photos of Melissa... mostly just working Melissa or Mommy Melissa... trust me she is a very pretty girl.
Finally at [3:00 am] Thursday I depart for the New Orleans airport more than an hour away. I was sleepy, [Jef still managed to look good]...
After some drama, and whatnot we actually got on the plane, and got to see this [incredible sunrise from out of our window]. Jef did what he always does on the plane... [snooze]. Thank god I brought a book... later when I woke him - he tried to make up.
We arrived in Florida...
FLORIDA!
I try to sometimes pretend that Clearwater isn’t my ‘Home’ that I haven’t one... until I return there. I shared a hotel Room with Our Rose Stud Bill Adamo... I actually like hotels, and for my hometown I sure have spent a lot of time in this particular one. It is (surprise surprise) run by a nice family from India. But they were surprised that I could thank them in two different Indian dialects.
The pirate festival itself was disappointing... The city was supposed to do all of this advertising, which never happened. It was in a nice enough location, just beside [the new bridge] crossing onto Clearwater Beach. Just look at those palm trees... But the show was sparsely attended, poorly thought out...
We [set up our stage]... and posed for a few photos...
So many things went wrong with this thing. First off, Friday was supposed to be a student day with 8 schools participating... We figured at a conservative estimate we’d have 1600, to 2000 students there... maybe as many as 4000! I bought roses and carnations for that amount... again conservatively.
 In the hotel |
 Hamming it up |
 Sara, our rose girl |
The weather was lovely, Fans and friends showed up. We ate wonderfully, at the deli next door to the festival, and at various restaurants on the beach. (Yay Cooters!) We got to pose and party on the attending [Pirate ship]... our good friend Howard Ka$h shot these shots. Jef wants to hire this ship to host a Tortuga Fan party.
We also got to hang out with other old friends, One of Riki’s best and the Twins favourite friends is [Fritz]... who is a honcho at the Pirate Faire, and all around cool guy, and the very open and permissive Boyfriend of the Lovely Sarah... Lucky bastard! (And amazing guy!)
I mentioned My Groomsmen earlier... and one of them will definitely be ex-sweetie Ann Morelock/Frahley. She is responsible for me becoming a Diver, she is the reason I have such long dark roots (I don’t really like anyone else doing my hair) She is married to one of our newest Twin-fans, and all-around great guy... Jason... and they made a baby... the smallest female goalie for the Tampa Bay Lightning... Katie. There is something about happy families that make them Glow. I love Ann... always will, and I absolutely adore this man with being with her. What were they thinking [letting me hold a baby]!
More positive stuff at this show:
We went to an Ice cream parlor in costume... heheheh!
We got to connect with other old friends and partners [Scott and Bert] of the Wise Guys... Scott is like the influential Uncle of the Tortugas... as well as old friend Chip Haynes, who drew our original 'TT' logo. We also got to hang out with him and his lovely wife Joanne.
On a sad note: you can see here that things change, and a historic landmark is no more... this [hollowed out shell] USED to be One of favourite haunts. A strip club. Our good friend Howard Ka$h worked there, I DJ’d there, even Jef DJ’d there once... We have all taken home dancers from this club. Oh the stories about the Twins these now sundered walls could tell... we have even written and rehearsed shows in there... a moment of silence please as we morn its passing.
I guess the best thing about the Pirate Festival itself was the fire show at the end. There is a huge festival that takes place in the desert in August called Burning Man. Folks who attend/perform there are referred to as 'burners'. There was a group of burners there, doing a huge display just before our final show. WOW! The show itself was worth the price of the Festival’s admission... While [Bill] worked his rose selling MOJO the merry band of Burners brought together by Riz (www.firewhip.com) Performed flaming Staffs, acrobatics, Dance, flaming whip, fire eating, volcanoes... We may hire this troupe for a future TortugaPalooza... I also found out that one of the performers, a very hot fire performer/belly dancer actually knew me... apparently had a crush on me for years... Life is okay sometimes. We saw some great stuff that night and the dancer looked pretty ‘hot’. (I had to say that! Hehehe!)
 |
 |
The pirate festival, fire shows, and cast party behind, I, Ronn, flew out early Monday. I had a trailer, Family and CAT to get back to.
I have been thinking about travel a lot lately. And talking about (amongst other things) Amsterdam... The airport here in Atlanta (a layover) certainly leaves a lot to be desired when compared to the space-port/Metropolis that is the Amsterdam airport.
Funny thing about airports; I recently saw a wonderful film called Love Actually. In this film, and others like Dogma, they talk about the purity, and excitement and drama and honesty in arrivals and departures at an airport. The reunions, and leave-takings and all the raw emotions.
I find it interesting that I do most of my flying, departures, and returns - alone.
I wanted to get 'home’ - my Palace of Decadence in Hammond.
I made a stop first just across the river from New Orleans to visit my family... and quickly became involved in some drama I’ll not talk about here...
I Thanksgiving-ed with the hippies at the site, a huge buffet/pot luck with the folks who live and work at this fair. I brought homemade cranberry sauce (my mommy’s recipe). Though there was plenty to eat there I actually cooked my first turkey that day at the same time... I wanted to have leftovers for Turkey sandwiches... isn’t that the best part of Thanksgiving?
I brought Niece number three over from New Orleans to stay for the weekend and celebrate Turkey day with me... Brandi seemed to have a fun time the whole weekend... especially when we went out to dinner Saturday night to get away from the leftovers
For us the weekend went well, this show is finally staring to shape into something nice... though there are still some issues to be dealt with...
Gosh... this is a NINE PAGE JOURNAL... not counting photos. Andy is gonna kill me! [Ain't gonna kill you, just gonna bill you - AB]
Enough for now, I have to shower and do some other work!
Soon.
