I'm LATE!!!!
I am gloriously, sweetly, extravagantly, LATE!
And I don't care!
Today is December 26th, the day after Christmas... (Yes your atheist author celebrates it, so what?) I am NOT naked, because in the immortal words of Cole Porter "Baby, It's COLD outside"! More on that in a bit.
The nicest thing about being so late with last month's journal is that just not-that-much has happened since last I wrote. We finished the final two, surprisingly warm weekends of the Louisiana Renaissance Festival. We had fun, there were big crowds, really really big, (for Louisiana) standing-room-only (for the final show) enthusiastic crowds, and we made moolah. The Tortugas' Dungeon made a killing, (thank god!) My maze made money (which I need to support my ever-growing family!) and we even took some time off to take a ghost tour trip down in the French Quarter with the AMAZING Magic Mike where Heather, once again caught "orbs" with her camera... (Wow!)
We were all tired and ready to be away from the land of our tribulation... but we made a promise to the aforementioned "Mike", to play the three "Random Gay Guys" in an independent pilot he was shooting.
You heard me right... "Random Gay Guys"... Typecasting? I guess the only truly embarrassing fact in this shoot, (other than our IMHO sub-par acting) was that the wardrobe for the flamboyant poofters, was just Riki and my clothing... shifted around a bit. I shot my scene in my trademark pigtails... though I did hear a surprised gasp from bystanders after our scene, they were astounded that I was "...a guy"!
Random Gay Guys one thru three - with TINY
 Live long and what? |
 Bribes for wifey |
We know Jef is the charming Tortuga, and MUCH better at "Schmoozing"... and sometimes that works out so well. He makes friends wherever he goes, and he actually recognizes folks (a skill I'll never have with MY "memento-like" memory) so he found us a GREAT new friend, and really cool guy, who also just happened to be the manager of the four-star steakhouse at Harrah's Casino. Our New Friend Jeff, at Besh's Steakhousewas happy to not only wine and dine us to an amazing (and economical) degree! (Thanks thanks thanks Jeff!) First we had to visit the swanky bar at the casino, which my nerd-brother thought looked like a warp reactor... Since Heather was at home, and hungry, hoping for Taco Bell while I was eating paté and Duck Prosciutto, I asked Jeff to put together a little gift bag for my delicate, and on occasions like this GRUMPY flower of the Orient.
Things got complicated at this point... Jef departed for home, Riki drove his car out to Phoenix, got immediately on an airplane, flew back to Louisiana to do us the very appreciated favor of driving Heather's car and trailer back to Phoenix, so during her eighth-plus month of pregnancy she could just ride with me, instead of in her own vehicle...
And what was I doing at this time?
Finishing work on my maze.
Knowing that the brand-new, and HUGE dungeon was going to steal a lot of focus I had to completely revamp the front of the maze... but it was a rushed job; due to dungeon catastrophe we needed to reschedule for AFTER the Festival's run; The remodeling of my maze's front entrance.
Here's an interesting fact... I LIKE doing rough-in framing construction! (Riki does too!)
It's true... I do enjoy building
Jamie went out to dinner with Heather, Mom, Frank and me... and then got to stand-by looking studiously cool while my mother got to revel in grandmotherly ecstasy!
Jamie and I worked from early-morn to after dark each day for more than a week... and with NO Daiquiris! Heather and I also had some social commitments to fulfill, and gleefully. Dinner with the Hausers, Dinner with Mom and Frank, and also our dear friend Eric... But you may well ask, "What did Heather do during the day while we were working?"
 Mmmmm dinner and construction guys |
 One of these people is very excited |
 A metric shitload of Christmas Joy |
Finally after a slow laborious and strangely relaxed packing process, we piled (for the first time ever) two cats, one mo-doglette, one extremely preggo wifey, and me into one vehicle (towing our house) and had one of the most enjoyable trips in the twenty years I have been doing this crazy thing called "my life."
We determined after this trip (and our second-to-last one before the baby is travelling with us) that despite the fact that we have always had our own vehicles, and we JUST got Heather's new car... the Bauman family is going to downsize to one vehicle... but upgrade to a bigger, four-door truck to do so.
Finally we arrived at the RV Park where we've spent the previous two winters... Unlike the first time, Heather and I know how to park our trailer (finally) and with a stunning display of teamwork parked the house as easily as "Santa Claus" did for us the first time we wintered here.
Ironically, as we were finishing, that very same fellow pulled up next to us, and after briefly admiring our new-found parking skills began to laugh at me. "I thought you said you were never coming back here" he chortled... at which point I merely pointed at Heather's expanded belly and shrugged in total defeat.
Kansas City is GREAT! We spent some time with the Amazing Ann and Bob - photos were taken, sushi was eaten, Bob and I played Halo 2, eating, drinking many cocktails, killing even more aliens... only stopping for a brief photo and later in the evening for me to do some serious vomiting! (Don't know if it was the drink, the smoke, or the jerky, disorienting video, but wow!)
Shortly thereafter we also celebrated Christmas with the Browns... Bob & Ann got me an AWESOME Halo 3 Briefcase (THANKS Browns!!!) Heather and I got Ann a swoopy-cool hat... we ate Indian food (East Indian... not Buffalo) and Ann and Bob recreated American Gothic (look it up you heathens!). You'll notice that Heather's eye make-up is a little more noticeable than usual... and either she's embracing her "inner hooker"; which is unlikely, or she was doing another incredible photoshoot with Ann... only the photos we post next month will tell!
 Women! You're interrupting the HALO 2 |
 The women of Genghis |
 American Gothic |
... Tanya and her Amazing mom. We had a lovely time, got some cool and great loot... and we ATE!
Tanya is Half-Persian... (Between her and Heather they form two-thirds of half of the Axis of Evil.)Â And as such LOVES to feed people. Baklava, Pork roast, cranberry sauce (not as good as mine, but tasty) pastries, green beans, sweet potatoes... more and more and more...
All the girls roosted in the kitchen... like they do... and Tanya's hubby and I just hovered, and ate.
We waddled out of her house!
 Christmas |
 Here there be women-folk |
 The Plaza for X-mas |
 Read it, baby! |
On the way home we did a brief tour of the Kansas City Christmas lights on the Plaza, taken photos and arguing with my mother on the phone... and home to bed.
Finally it is now the 26th of December. Initially we were gonna leave today, but having checked the weather reports on our route, and realizing we still have some trailer-stuff to go into our storage unit; gotta make room for baby-stuff. So in theory; we're leaving bright-and early tomorrow.
I hope you ALL are having as rich and rewarding a life as I am. I hope you have adventures, and love... that you have challenges and rewards... and that you keep laughing and smiling with The Tortuga twins for YEARS!
Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and, as this photo from the French Quarter says:
"PEACE Y'ALL"
