Farewell to 2010. What’s that? 2011? Well Hell-ooo!

I’m in reflective mood.

If I had gotten this journal in on time (I keeed!) it might have been a nice reflection piece on the year. Since it is in-fact January 5th as I start it… I’d rather begin my reflections with the internal struggle all men face, and most men fail. I remember a very bright, but very tragically-flawed girl that I used to “date” gave me a copy of Jekyll and Hyde as a commentary on the disparate ways I treated her… funny. In truth, I’m a lot less complex than that. You could really sum up most of my struggles by just looking at the first gif in this month’s journal photos.

It is funny; because it’s true.

Status report: Star Date, Blah, Blah, Blahdety Blah.

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I’m sitting comfortably in our spot in Arizona. I’m wearing jeans, no shirt, and no shoes… so I guess I shouldn’t expect service! The animated movie Bolt is playing for the second time today… Scarlett is being a “pill”, demanding, un-satisfied, and bitchy… Clearly; she’s my offspring. She’s been going through this weird phase lately where she’ll take a baby-wipe and compulsively clean things around the house. I am both amused and horrified that she has apparently picked-up some of my neuroses.

When last we left off…

We were finishing our engagement at the Louisiana Renaissance Festival. The show was wonderful (as always) small (as always) and easy to do (as always). We had a number of social engagements while we were in town: Snacks and fun at the home of London Broil’s very handsome Duncan (also his sweetie Maria and their adorable daughter Spring!) in an artsy/dangerous part of New Orleans. From there we jaunted over to Aquarium of the Americas (also in New Orleans) where Scarlett did her best “pearl” impression. While there I found a GREAT gift for Dakota in the gift shop, continuing our never-ending Jacob vs. Edward struggle… and I took a photo just to appeal to my sense of nostalgia. Even though I have been performing at Louisiana Renaissance Festival since 2000 or 2001; I haven’t been back to the Aquarium here since 1993, coincidentally the same year Heather and I dated for the first time… I’ve posed in the jaws of a giant shark both times, and included both photos for your enjoyment.

Think about this: Only 17 years, 35 pounds, and LOADS of miles separate these two fellows. The year I posed for the photo on the left, I had just driven away from Kansas City where I dated Heather the first time. The Tortuga Twins were two, separate two-man shows. Riki and I were a year away from working in Charlotte the first time. And the Twin Towers still dominated the New York skyline.

We got another FABULOUS feast.

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Years ago we got invited to dine at the very swanky restaurant in Harrah’s Casino by the chef, Jeff Gulotta. Jeff was a fan from the Louisiana show and over the years has feted us, and spoiled us many times. Also over time Jeff, his daughter Sam, and his uber-cool girlie Erin have become more than fans (though they are in the fan club). They have become friends. It’s always a great time to hang with them, and we got to do it a bunch this year. Besides two different failed attempts to eat at our favorite sushi place in Hammond LA. We also got to enjoy an incredible Burlesque event that was a benefit for the troops. My wife looked SMOKIN’! As did Erin, we had a lovely time (thanks Sam for babysitting), got to see some cute girls doing cute things, eat great food, listen to great music and eat for free. Heather is so cool she even wrote a check for $100 smackers for the cause. The following night was arranged around Jef Hall’s arrival. This has been a great year for the foodie in us. The feast from Chef Jax knocked our socks off. We have also had Crab fests, French cuisine and Turkey dinners, pot lucks and movie nights… but the decadence, opulence, and yumminess of one of New Orleans’s finest restaurants might rank as the single best food night of the year.

Free, all of it free.

Pork belly, foie gras three ways, and dessert, upon dessert, upon dessert. It was HEAVEN. We wouldn’t have afforded the meal we had that night (could have - wouldn’t have though). It was amazing. Riki passed out, Heather wept. We even got a tour of the kitchen, met the staff (and Chef; Jeff’s brother … Jeff is the manager). Thanks Jeff for spoiling us, Erin for being great company Sam, for watching our offspring (again)… Ahhh.

Maybe a challenge?

You know; Chef Jeff Gullota reads this journal. Chef Jax reads this journal. They have both treated the Tortugas to these mind-warping meals… Maybe there needs to be some sort of showdown, some dining competition between these two? We’ll be the judges.

--- Not for us, but for them!

The final weekend of the 2010 season was done and in the books.

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It ended literally and figuratively with fireworks. With our season done, we had time to socialize with friends and family. Bob and Jamie were kind enough to prepare a venison Po Boy… which is so much more amazing than you might imagine. The Haeusers were once-again gracious hosts, good friends, and cool people.

It was time to leave Louisiana, but we almost didn’t make it to Kansas City.

I SWORE to Heather that we weren’t returning to KC in the winter… or at least not with the truck and trailer. The plan was to go directly from the bayou to the desert and then FLY to Kansas City for New Year’s. However we received word that we weren’t allowed to move on site in Phoenix until after Christmas… so, in fact, it was my idea to go to KC, with the trailer.

Those of you who have been reading this journal consistently know…

That fighting with winter and winter-proofing our home-on-wheels has been a struggle for the six years Heather and I have been together. When I suggested that we (again) brave Midwestern winters the little woman said “Only if you promise not to bitch about the weather”. I promised. I kept the promise too; I didn’t bitch; though one time I did “observe” how foul the cold was. There was a point, just before we departed for KC, where Heather said “You know we could just go to Key West”. We almost did too.

Once again we wintered in KC.

We probably had three or four different Christmas celebrations. Scarlett had a blast. She opened gifts in Louisiana, Kansas City and even tonight in Phoenix. She “helped” with the wrapping paper. Watched us all texting at Tanya and Kyle’s house, and got to do the traditional present opening extravaganza on Christmas day. We all got great gifts, (including an iPad and a revolver for me). We ate lots of great food – including loads of BBQ! We drank too much. We played (I played) lots of video games – completing Halo reach with Bob. We shot some photos, and really; had a good time.

We consulted Mapquest and the weather channel when it was time to travel.

We planned to take our normal route: Interstate 35 to Interstate 40, all-the-way to Flagstaff and then down I-17 to Phoenix. However, the forecast for the night we’d be arriving in Flagstaff had an 80% chance of over 18 inches of snow.

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18 inches of snow? – Hell no.

We got to do the Warner Brothers gag and “Take a left turn at Albuquerque”. The route turned out to be 15 miles shorter, have less-steep mountains to cross, and have MUCH better weather. Even still; we stayed the second night in an RV park behind some crack houses in Lordsburg NM. It was a nice enough park, but we only cared about easy access, and electricity. I checked the forecast before bed (on my swanky new iPad) and was able to relax. No freezing temps were called for. No foul weather. So imagine my aggravation when I was awakened the next morning with the sound of sleet hitting our roof. Our leisurely departure became a scramble. The weather turned foul, the park became dreary. We raced the foul weather and beat it… to the valley of the sun.

We celebrated a very quiet, very satisfying New Year’s Eve in our spot in Arizona.

We hung out with a few friends early in the evening, but mostly my New Year was about my family. Heather and I kissed; Scarlett decorated my face with stickers it was a great time. I now get to stay in the same place until April… I’m excited now, but will be so ready to leave by then. I know I have loads of paperwork to catch up on. I think there is going to be some construction gigs and some computer work too… but it is nice knowing I don’t have to work, I don’t have to move, and I can relax, (for me), for over a month.

My next journal is going to be an All Zombie Journal.

And this is (ostensibly) the final journal of 2010. This has been a great year; trying at the start, but getting easier. I perceive that our country, our economy, and our times have turned the corner to a brighter future. In tough times, many folks turn to religion. I didn’t, of course… I might have if I had read this article. As it stands, I am still firmly an Atheist. My 13th photo really says it all. Maybe it is time to seek other opportunities, other religions. Lovecraft suggested that there were the Elder gods of madness, and horror… How bad could they be?

In the end, everyone should believe in something, I believe I’ll have another drink.

Goodbye 2010. Hello 2011.

It is time for renaissance festival performers of all stripes to take a little break, I think even the jousters are getting a little beach time. We hope your year went well, and the impending year gives you joy.

Thanks again for stopping by.