This is going to be a shorter-than-average journal.
There are a couple of reasons for this... first off, Heather and I have been staying home a lot, to save moolah... there hasn't been a whole lot going on anyway... but mostly because I turned in my last journal only a week or so ago!
So when last we left our intrepid adventurer and his hot Asian babe they were leaving the sandy confines of Florida and were making their slow and eventual way to the vineyards of Ohio. We had a little time, and were doing a favor for a friend so we made our way via Charlotte NC.
We had been asked by good friend, Fan club member, "Transportation Coordinator" and "New-Jersey-Italian, Stanley-Tucci-look-a-like" Frank Defeo (Frankie D) to stop by for a summer weekend... and asked by Muggsy to pick up his lovely belly-dancing girlfriend, from visiting her hometown as well.
A short, easy, uneventful trip most of the way to Charlotte; we ended up parking overnight and trying to sleep. Two notes: Many people bash Wal-Mart as 'The Evil Empire', the world's largest, most powerful retailer. But as a resident of a RV, and someone who travels a lot, I LOVE Wally-world. There is an unwritten, but accepted rule that Wal-Mart welcomes RVs to overnight in their parking lots. Always a safe, quiet, and relatively restful place to pull-in and sleep. But the second note; it doesn't work so well in June, in South Carolina's extremely muggy summer night.
Friday we settled-in to a lovely campground just outside of the Charlotte Motor Speedway... (NASCAR) and a brief hop-skip-and jump from the NC Festival site. We had some set up to do, and then went to see Superman Returns... we touched base with a few of our friends, and finally to sleep.
At this point I owe a deep apology to Fan Club president, (and extended family member) Sharyn Watson - you see, I promised Heather that after we got settled in, and did a quick errand or two, then Saturday, the rest of the day would be all hers... She decided it would be sweet to visit Sharyn.
Well, we first had to visit the wonderful Robbie and April. Great friends of the Tortugas and had a very nice Saturday lunch with them. Robbie and April have been some of our favorite folks in NC for years and it was nice to visit with them. And their beautiful and clever daughter Carly started the trend of calling me "Auntie Ronn."
On the way to my next appointment we had a few minutes to kill... so we found our selves shopping, and staring face-to-face with this creepy statue. Since Heather's best friends Bob and Ann have for years contended that my little sweetie-pie is in fact a monkey - I felt compelled to bring this to her attention, and yours!
 NC friends Robbie and April |
 Haven't you always wanted a Monkey? |
 My hump - my lady lumps... |
Sundays are work days for me... for all but six to eight weeks a year. For Heather and me to have a Sunday off, and to choose to spend it doing things with anyone other than ourselves... those folks and those things must be pretty cool... We had specifically come to NC to spend our Sunday onLake Norman with Frank and Kelly DeFeo.
I have been performing for 12 years at the Carolina Renaissance festival... driven for years past (and even over) the lake itself... and never really experienced it. We packed Frank's boat with beers, sandwiches, floats, Bella the dog and ourselves and spent a wonderful Sunday afternoon.
We floated, we ate (mmmm PBJ!) we drank.... Captain Frankie D was fun as usual. Garrulous, gregarious, and generous... and he really does look a bit like Stanley Tucci.
 Find the bitch in this picture... |
 How YOU doin'? |
 Heather with Kelly DeFeo |
 Men hugging men - what more could you ask for? |
After a fun day at the Lake... (Where I now want to spend more time... and own a boat for Pete's sake!) We headed back to the Casa DeFeo. Heather and Kelly talked, made dinner and brought us drinks... while Frank and I did the "Man's Work" outside.
Frank is a compulsive car washer... He owns, as a second business, a detailing company. He cannot stand to see a dirty vehicle in his presence. While he washed my very dirty truck, I offered a little life counseling and philosophical edification... I think I got the better part of the deal.
After some drinks, and a much cleaner vehicle, we had a nice dinner, conversation, and hugs all around.
Monday bright-and early, saw us meeting with the lovely and delicate Collette, and departing for what was a fun and uneventful trip to Ohio.
Collette is this ridiculously pretty girl, and an amazingly talented dancer. She is, quite honestly, one of the sexiest belly dancers we have all ever seen (a constant topic of conversation amongst all Tortugas, and Tortuga-wife Sharon when she first came onto the scene) ... and if you know my history 'pre-Heather', you know I have had some experience with belly dancers! But, also like Heather, Collette is really easy to underestimate. Like Heather, she is so pretty that folks forget to see how clever, and funny, and interesting she is.
During the trip, Heather barely talked to me at all on the walkie-talkie... she was chatting with her passenger. During our lunch breaks, Collette, (or Coco) told us very interesting stories on all topics including 'Kentucky-fried-nothing'.
We finally arrived at our brand-new campground in Ohio. They had sold and closed the one closest to the faire we have stayed at for the last few years. The new site was beautiful, tree-filled and with five lovely lakes (and a POOL!) but we have had to move at least once, and are still unhappy... all because of electricity.
As I sit here in early August, at the tail-end of a record-setting heat wave... I type nude, and with no AC on. The power here, even at the site I moved to for improved electricity, is so sketchy that I have to choose: I can run the AC, or the Computer, or the Television... but not any two (or three) together.
They promise to have this issue fixed by next year.
Electricity notwithstanding... Our non-show times here have been very pleasant. Muggsy and Collette are great neighbors, Jef and Sharon are just across the lake, my (and interestingly enough Heather's) old friend, Jouster Jeff Horrick (and his lovely wife Jenna) are also just across the lake. Even the sweet and sexy girlfriend of Hack-and-Slash-Funnyman Spencer, Ginny, came to hang out for a few days while Spence was out of town. She ended-up spending the night and the girls had a slumber party. Don't get excited by the photo... no girl-on-girl hanky panky ensued... but I DID make some jokes.
We have had oodles of gatherings while we were here... a party to welcome the one weekend guest appearance of our friend, members-only webmaster, and propagator of unsolicited journal links Andy Blau...
That went so well, that the next weekend we invited all of the Jousters and some of our other friends to a big cookout.
 Why are these two girls smiling...? |
 I'm not that fat; it's just a puffy shirt |
 Jousters (and Jef) chowing down |
The show has been a bit of a clunker - when it isn't raining, it is blistering heat... and sometimes BOTH... the fair is muddy, and the numbers are down...
We have two shows at a local winery that are already sold-out... and the boys took a trip to San Diego comic con... to try and sell us as a comic book - but I am sure they will write more about that in their journals.
Heather and I have been staying home a lot... saving the meager money we are making right now... I also just picked-up a brand new sewer tank... hopefully this will correct the stinky-stinky smell we have suffered since Atlanta.
 (Click to watch the .WMV) |
I did a lot of work for Heather at the beginning of the show... Her GA/AZ boss, and my friend, Jack set her up with a business here in Ohio. But since I was working for Heather and not Jack I really didn't feel like I could charge for my labor...
Finally, the Tattooed Tortuga would like to include this very funny video clip.
And that's all we choose to print right now...
