I�ve been car shopping.
It started off with me realizing, what with our swanky new over 1500 lbs. utility trailer - named�Gammera�after the 60�s Japanese monster-movie monster, shaped like a giant turtle - that I�m pulling and all, that I�m either going to need a new transmission for my truck... or a new truck.
So off I went, blithely hitting up my good friend�Terry Alfred�of�Walser Nissan�in Burnsville, Minnesota - whom I happen to be staying with whilst sojourning here in the North Star State - for ideas on an appropriate new vehicle, costing not too much more in monthly payments.
Me and Terry Alfred - Nissan Sales Goddess
Me and Terry Alfred - Nissan Sales Goddess Tortuga New-Car Adoption Center
Tortuga New-Car Adoption Center
First came the�Nissan Pathfinder�and an idea for leasing the SUV for four years, then buying out the vehicle for roughly around $13,000. Two things were wrong with that, as I�m sure the car dealers of you out there are realizing. (1) I�m no good for a lease. With all my crisscrossing this big, wonderful country, I put approximately 30,000 miles a year onto anything I�m driving. That simply�suuuxx�if I want to do anything remotely lease-like. (2) The more I drove/got a feel for the Pathfinder, the more I realized that the nifty little SUV just wouldn�t do for my purposes. I still needed atruck, not the new millennium�s version of a minivan.
Next came a very nice, but short-lived thought about a slightly used (under 7,000 miles) 2004 black�Nissan Titan. I wanted to get away from black for my next vehicle. Not because I don�t like the color - I do; just have a look-see at some of my wardrobe - it�s just that dirt shows up a lot faster on a black car or truck. Now silver... . Anywho, the problem with the black Titan was no power locks or windows. Sure, sure, call me lazy. You�d be wrong, at least about this. I can do without the power windows - don�t want to, but I can - but the lack of power locks was a deal breaker. I pack and unpack too damn much in my traveling lifestyle to want to worry about having to key lock/unlock my doors every time I make a trip back into the house.
After the Titan came an awesome 2004�Dodge Ram 1500. It had everything... well, almost. It had one of the sweetest stereo systems that I had ever come close to owning, guard rails along the bed that lit red at the ends and blinked with the turn signals, it was already hooked up with an alarm system that carried an auto start feature - you know, for those Florida winter mornings when it�s so cold that you want the heat going�before�you hit the leather seats. Blah-blah-blah. The dual exhausts were loud, the vehicle was a little sluggish on the initial acceleration, it�didn�t�have fog lights - which have come in very useful in the past when I�ve�had�to travel through driving snow - also, the damned thing was so big that it was a bitch to climb into it without the use of the much-needed, yet nonexistent side rails. Oh, yeah, and it was black. Love black, remember, but not when it comes to the dirt, dust, and mud magnets we drive the back roads of a renaissance festival in. So, the Dodge Ram went the way of the dodo. But not before I was introduced to the next contestant in this�New Truck for the Rikker�home game.
Yes, a lovely, brand new�silver�2004�Nissan Titan LE�came my way on the morning I was supposed to be test driving the Dodge 1500 around. Terry drove it up from the dealership that morning - she had been driving it earlier in the week, and thought that I might be interested. You see, it was a 2X4. With me being from Florida and all, and not having to worry too much about the snow, she thought that not having a 4X4 shouldn�t bother me in the least. Also, it had almost everything I�d said I was looking for. And, it�wasn�t�black. It had side rails, it had fog lights. It had a tow package complete with a transmission temperature gauge. True, it didn�t have the fiberglass tonneau cover for the bed, satellite radio hookup, or an alarm system, but all these things could be put in relatively painlessly. Most importantly of all, I�did�love driving it.
In the midst of all this I was calling a good friend of mine in Florida,�Jerry Herrin, who just so happened to have worked for many-a-year in the car sales business. He was busy giving advice and directing me around the pitfalls, and even went as far as to go online and look up the actual vehicle that I was mulling over.
This is Achilles!
This is Achilles! I got a new truck!
I got a new truck! Ooh, he's flexible!
Ooh, he's flexible!
So, guess which one I went with. That�s right, the silver one. Besides, I look good in it... or it looks good on me - whichever you prefer -�big-good, but good. Kinda like when I first began wearing my�huge�musketeer-styled Tortuga hat with the 7" brim (only one of three from�Excalibur Leathermade that big). At first the hat was so big that it wore me, but soon after - when I became used to the span and the weight of it - I wore the hat, and it sat there naturally, as if it had belonged there all along.
Well, there you have it. I have a new truck now, and I find every excuse possible to ride around in it. I�ve even given it the name�Achilles. This in honor of the Greek mythology (where the�titans�come from),�and�which so happens to be half my heritage. More likely, however, it�s because the monthly payments might prove to be my 'Achilles heel'. My last truck was named�Spartacus. Don�t laugh; what would you name your vehicle? Do you even have a name for yours? You should. My friend Fritz named his last truck the�Silver Ghost�- his license plate read�AG Ghost�(you don�t need a periodic table to figure that one out... or do you?). And, another friend, Tara, named hers�Baby Bear. So, you see, there is a fine tradition in naming your vehicle, and�Achilles�is not so bad when you think of the wide possibility of names I could have picked. Like�Butch, or�Galileo 7, orRiki�s Little Helper. Yes, and to quote�Carlos Mencia, "I believe I have won that argument."
Well, kids, that�s all for this journal entry. I hope you�ve enjoyed another snapshot into my life. I�ll try to buy something bigger and bolder next time, just to keep your interest up.
Something like a Hummer... or a Texas strip club, maybe. I hear that you can get 'hummers' there, too, but I wouldn�t want to drive to church in one.
I want to give another shout out to�Terry Alfred�of�Walser Nissan, and thank her for all her effort, patience, answering of questions at all hours of the day, and especially for not being pushy so she could "make the deal." Instead she allowed me to waffle back and forth in making my own decision, and gave her opinion only when I asked her point blank about it. And mucho thanks to�Jerry Herrin�for all the Jedi master-like car advice. One day I, too, will be able to play Jedi mind tricks on unsuspecting car salesmen.�"That is not the deal I�m looking for. You will get me a better one."�Thanks again, Terry and Jerry, I couldn�t have done it without you.
Unhappy Tortuga!
Unhappy Tortuga!
All right, I�m out. Make sure that you have a fantastic life or get a good deal on a trade-up for a better one.
Ciao for now.
PS: On a final note, I�ve already had a mishap with my vehicle. I don�t really want to get into it, but I did want to keep you guys in the know. Why, because you�re special. Besides, it makes for another good couple of pictures. Fear not; all is fine now, and the damage has already been repaired (as of today). And don�t worry about me driving merrily about your freeways. The crunch occurred while I was in, of all places, a mall parking lot.
Well, there you go. Have a nice day, and make sure that you�re careful with your new toys. You never know when bad luck and circumstance are going to wallop you on the back of the head and say hello.
