Weddings, School, Commuting, Travelling, Museums, Minnesota, A New Home, And I Bid Farewell to a Hero So August

Adults read freely – Kids? Whattya doin'?

For no other reason than I want to include a pretty, scantily clad girl and some harsh language  – let me remind you that this will be a journal for adults this time.  As I begin this journal I am watching the final few minutes of the last of the Shark Week programs we recorded in August. It’s a fictional mockumentary and my cause me to stop watching what was one of my favorite traditions of the summer. I’m in jeans and shirtless at a KOA in Minnesota.  Scarlett is torturing our tiniest dog.  Ah Monday. I’m half a month late for this journal too. Oops!

I want to lead off this month’s journal congratulating my good friends – and stage-mates Barely Balanced’s Margret and Cameron

So there once was a time when I did not get along very well with the lead guy and driving force behind one of the (other) most popular acts on the Festival circuit. Largely due to us both being older and wiser and a healthy dose of my wife’s influence I am lucky to call Cameron – and Marge and Jimmy – my friends.  This summer saw the marriage of two of the three – with the assistance of the third. We were lucky enough to be invited to what was a joyous, happy occasion. Scarlett had taken ill, and Heather was becoming sick so I had to represent the Baumans at the event. I did have a lovely date on my arm. As I have explained before Heather’s second-in-command is a darling young lady named Meghann. Meggie-Meg has been with us for four seasons now and has served in every capacity from babysitter to housekeeper to manager of Heather’s shops. Beyond the professional we have also all-but adopted Meggie-Meg. She’s sitting on the couch behind me now. She and the family ate dinner together as we do most nights and we’re watching TV as we do most nights – and the girls are doing shots… as they do most nights.  She is for all intents and purposes our adult daughter. It’s even funnier because not only is Meghann’s coloring and hair similar to an amalgam of Heather’s and my own but chronologically she could actually have been the product of when Heather and I dated the first time. For the event Meggie cast-off her more relaxed, hippy clothes and got dolled-up and in heels too! Even with her slowing us down as she unsteadily navigated the parking lot in those heels she made for a wonderful companion and we had a lovely time at the wedding

A new School year is upon us

Last year I tried to get Scarlett registered into the K-12 homeschooling program and due to my own inexperience with the system missed the deadline by four days or so.  Luck smiled on us in that there was another, safety-school. Scarlett excelled in the Connexxus Academy, and it was not an unpleasant experience but I really wanted to get Scarlett in the bigger, better-funded option for homeschooling. I am very glad that I started the enrollment process so much earlier than last year as the struggles to verify Scarlett’s residence, immunizations and schooling records were unbelievable. After countless faxed documents, phone calls, a faked lease and a repeat dose of the hepatitis B vaccine we finally managed to get all the “T”s crossed and the “I”s dotted. It was almost worth it seeing the glee on Scarlett’s face when the three massive boxes of school supplies finally arrived. She opened them with fervor. It was like a bookworm’s idea of Christmas. The k-12 schooling is already well under way, and there are many things I prefer about this set up to the last one. Wish us luck. I really am a teacher – only now – it’s First Grade instead of Kindergarten!

You think YOUR commute is bad

Bristol is a nine week show. The Tortugas can only work six of those nine due to our commitment in Minnesota.  For the three weekends of overlap I leave the trailer, my lovely wife and my darling spawn to enjoy the normal life of Bristol and I commute the six, to seven hours to the Minnesota show. The trip is long and arduous. I tried to time it each Friday so I would arrive at my destination in time to buy a bottle of wine for my hostess. More on that in a bit. I used the commute time to catch up on old podcasts, business and personal phone calls and to be amazed at some of the sights along the roadside.  I was fortunate enough to be rooming with a dear friend of Heather’s (and of Riki’s girl Kristy). Tami is such a good friend to Heather and of Kristy that they BOTH warned me that if I wasn’t very nice to Tami – there would be hell to pay! It was easy to be nice to Tami. She is one of the sweetest, kindest, most hospitable women I’ve ever met. Seriously. Like, honest-to-god chocolates on my pillow nice. The room was swell, the company was a dream and it was so nice – even in occasionally very foul weather – to be back in Minnesota again. I managed to work out a comfortable, manageable schedule. Each weekend I had some fun shows, got some sleep –and after a long hard weekend  I managed a long, hard drive home so that I could be in my own bed,  and with my own  family; home by two or three AM.

 

Minnesota has become so complicated

There is so much I love about the Minnesota Renaissance Festival. Wild, Crazy, Glorious Moneysota. But the old girl is looking a little rough these days.  No one wants to refresh their shops or put money into the grounds keeping because the lease is up on the property in three years and it’s on the wind that it won’t be renewed. Speaking pf property the people who own the land have been slowly mining away all the stone in the area. The parking lot is now a stone pit. Parking is a nightmare for the patrons – let alone those poor folks who work the festival. There are buses and shuttles and long, miserable slogs and wait times. Nowadays the cast and merchants have to [park over two miles away across the road. Our parking is somewhat less problematic; Riki was able to play the Tortugas/Prima Dona card and get us special parking privileges. Thanks Riki!! This show starts earlier than others and we don’t (can’t) live on site so lunches and food are more problematic. Heck, even one of the most pleasant parts of the Minnesota routine has gone the way of the Dodo. It used to be that our neighbors at the morning meetings were a passel of babes. But both our belly dancer friends and the Vodca Family babes have moved on. If it weren’t for the cute boys of the royal navy – I don’t know what I’d do!  There’s so much stress and confusion at this show – but Oh, the fans. Oh the money. Oh the wild, appreciative, crazy, won’t-leave-in-the-pouring-rain crowd. If the festival does end, or relocate in three years I’m not sure what we’ll do.

We invade the Field museum

We had to drop a dear friend off at the airport after her weekend staying on our couch. We scheduled it so that we could take a field trip to the Field Museum. Besides the two Bauman girls and our friend Lyndsey, we were also joined by Meghan and Kaitlin; the Asian half of Draiku the troupe my daughter works for. For this trip I was the only boy.  I’m okay with that. We saw two different sets of man-eating lions, we saw jewelry and gemstones and meteorites. We saw an exhibit dedicated to the World’s fair. We saw sloths and big cats, penguins and foxes, Asians, and Turtles and Jade – oh my.

Between our trip to the Field, our trip in to see Blue Man, and a detour on one of our trips back from Elkhart just to have yummy Korean food; we took advantage of many of the joys that Chicago had to offer.

Hey look we’re going BACK to Elkhart for a custom RV

Our last trip to secure a new home from the heart of RV manufacturing was a bust. What we looked for, what we hoped for we couldn’t find. We would have settled on good floor plan but what we really wanted was a custom RV builder. Well, I found one and it was off to shop in Indiana again. We took a tour of the factory, looked at a couple of units and then with the salesman’s help laid out the ideal floor plan. Well, it was ideal until Heather changed her mind and we now have to do revisions. Well, it wasn’t just Heather – but redesigning the house for proper desk-and-television placement is important too right? We don’t expect delivery until deep winter and it looks like we have already sold this old trailer. It’s all so exciting.  And Scarlett will have her own room; Heather will get more storage space and a bigger refrigerator. New house.  Can. Not. Wait.

 

We finally move to Minnesota. Our easiest trip all year

We had a perfectly reasonable, unachievable schedule planned and the flexibility to drop back and reschedule. After the three-day weekend and the long drive home from Minnesota we managed to pack down the new booth, pack up the trailer, drop the trailer off to the RV dealer to get a new awning and then retrieve the trailer and make our way to our normal RV spot in Minnesota. It’s only an eight hour trip –so it was all manageable.  We already had reservations and knew which spot we were going into so that was easy. I DID almost peel off the roof of our house as I was pulling in. I managed to just miss the badly placed branch and all was right in the world. Friday for set up, unpack and getting the satellite dish squared away; it requires trenching here. Saturday bright and early I was off to the 4th weekend of the Minnesota show.

Two weekends down and Heather hasn’t made it into the Festival during operating hours yet.

But in Non-Sequitur News - and apropos of nothing – I have Ironman in my pants.  You know – I have been doing this for a living, growing a following, fans, friends and a huge presence on circuit and all anybody every really cares about is where Heather and Scarlett are.  Due to a couple of nagging colds and an overall ennui Heather has only been to her shop to do the stocking, cleaning and magic she does so well. Scarlett has been out to the festival only once she did have a blast though.  Things are chugging along at this amazing festival and one of the side benefits is that I get to mess with one of my favorite people to mess with Gordy. Gordy – who plays or played both Arthur Greenleaf Holmes and Scratch the beggar doesn’t know what to do with me. I’ve been very helpful and supportive of him, but I also loooove to tease and antagonize him.  One morning he brought his beautiful wife to the cast meeting. As I approached he said something very much like “You stay away from her; don’t look at her, don’t talk to her…” so of course I instantly pulled out my camera and had Riki shoot a photo of us together. Then I had Riki pose with Gordy – so… that’s fair right? We have two weekends left of this fair and I’m pretty sure Heather will make it out for at least the final day… I guess. Sigh.

Time to wrap up this month’s entry

I have a few random photos and thoughts I want to leave you with. The muscle car is driven by one of my heroes. Hell it is one of my heroes and if you recognize the Ford "XB Falcon Coupe” you know “Last of the v-8 interceptors” you too may be a Mad Max fan. A new movie rolls out (see what I did there?) on the day after my birthday next year. Yeah. I also want to say goodbye to someone who was so influential on my love of comedy and my eventual career in it. I’m touched by his passing and annoyed how it became a happening, a magnet a lightning rod for everyone else’s agenda, cause or axe to grind.  Goodbye Robin. Nanoo Nanoo indeed. Thanks for the laughter, the tears and the inspiration. Thanks also for the great advice pictured here. Finally I’m gonna put this picture of a pretty naked girl here for no other reason than to justify the adult warning at the top of this page! I’ll be back next month with more craziness as Minnesota ends and we wend our way to Fall in North Carolina.

Before you go

I loved and I miss Calvin and Hobbes – But I’m not missing out on the greatest life I can have. You should look over this touching comic by Bill Watterson who created Calvin and Hobbes. For some reason it strikes very close to home with me.