Let�s see, what exciting/thrilling escapades have I been on lately? We three Tortugees worked in Council Bluff�s, Iowa this last weekend with the show running Friday, Saturday, and Sunday-at least as far as our contract was concerned. We flew in from different parts of the country: Jef & Ronn flew in from the Tampa Bay area in Florida and I from Niles, Ohio by way of Pittsburgh. We converged on the airport in Omaha, Nebraska for the beginning of our trip, and began our adventure there.
[ download the video clip - "Lions and tigers and Tortugas... avi!" ]
Arriving early, we wound our way to the local�Harrah�s Casino�where we had a lovely lunch at the buffet-it was a seafood theme and very yummy-and sniffed out the gambling areas for later. Here�s where my "ADD" kicks in, and I relay information that I may have already told you about. Either way, bear with me. Worse than you possibly reading it twice, I have to write it twice...or maybe not. That�s the problem; I can�t remember.
Geeks 4 Gambling
Geeks 4 Gambling Jef loves him some gambling
Jef loves him some gambling Ronn Loves Him Some... well, you know...
Ronn loves him
some...well, you know
As I was trying to tell you before�I�rudely interrupted myself.... We all (Tortugas-duh!) have our various levels of ability when it comes to gambling. Some call it "lady luck" while others claim that it takes a bit of skill. Those of you proficient with the�Dungeons & Dragons�genre (not me, nope, never played...and I bet my favorite assassin/magic-user that you can�t prove it) would say that we had different levels of ability. Whichever you prefer, know that when it comes to gambling, Jef is the best, Ronn is moderately good, and I...well, I...suck. Yes, that�s about right. I suck at gambling. Others very lucky, most people sometimes good/sometimes bad, me...not so much. No lucky, nada. Bupkist. (You�Dick Van Dike Show�fans will remember that one.)
But we didn�t gamble yet. Instead we got our room at the�Heartland Inn, put on our monkey suits (a.k.a. Twin gear), and went off to do that voodoo that we do so well. Two shows on that Friday night, although we found ourselves scheduled for three. Our contract said two, so we put the kybosh on the extra show right quick. Besides, they had our first show time scheduled right at the opening, and no one would have had enough time to find us. No audience = no show. This is a very important equation, especially when you have an�audience-participation�styled show. You get the picture. So, the rest of the event went fine with us doing what we were supposed to. Yeah, yeah-blah, blah, blah. Shows done, etc., etc, etc. While we were working, we saw old friends like the�Singing Executioners�and the�Jolly Rogers. Good friends, good times, good memories (and they keep on getting better as we get older). After that, we were off to see a movie:�The Chronicles of Riddick. Loved it-all of us, and that�s a rare thing. It was like a space-age version of�Conan the Barbarian. Completely different from its first movie:�Pitch Black, which I thought was so-so, but Ronn really loved. Not sure about Jef, though. Ask him.
Tortugas Enter Wally-World
Tortugas Enter Wally-World D'Angelo Digs Low Prices
D'Angelo Digs Low Prices I'm so happy I could poo!
I'm so happy I could poo!
Oh yes, before I forget. In between the festival-known as the�Renaissance Faire of the Midlands-and the movie, we went into�Wal-Mart�to pick up a couple of things. Into Wal-Mart. In our costumes. Now you get the pictures...and that�s why I included them. Let me tell you, there ain�t nothin� like strollin� around a Wal Mart, located anywhere�s in the Mid West, while dressed in your tights and a big, poofy shirt. My, what a fun and interesting life we lead.
And He Shall Call Himself A King Amongst Tortugas
And He Shall Call Himself A
King Amongst Tortugas Toga, Toga, Toga!
Toga, Toga, Toga! Part of the Wal-Mart team
Part of the Wal-Mart team
So, the next day-gorgeous day, great faire, festive people, basically everybody having a good time. Get the picture? Nice, isn�t it? Don�t worry, it�s about to change. As we are beginning our first show, we notice a line of�black�in the distance. Clouds of doom were advancing on us. It is as if the armies of Mordor (see, no D&D playing here) are marching on our wee humble position in Hobbiton, Iowa with the sole purpose of smiting the fun out of everyone�s day.
So, what do we do? We start chopping bits out of the show so�s we can finish it, that�s what we do. All the while, three pairs of eyes keep glancing over the shoulder of stage right, and we mentally try to hold back the fun-withering darkness. A bid melodramatic, I know, but how interesting does�the storm kept coming, and we were nervous�sound?
I live to serve.
Yes, we finished the show, and with time to spare. We even had time enough to sell/sign some�T-Shirts and DVDs.
And then it hit.
First the rains came. Not such a bad thing, in and of themselves. But when you couple them with lightning strikes on the grounds, the mother-of-all windstorms,�and�with the fact that there was a�tornado warning! Then you�ve got something to worry about.
Jolly Rogers Jam
Jolly Rogers Jam Stormy Mass Exodus
Stormy Mass Exodus Disheveled D'Angelo
Disheveled D'Angelo
But not us! We�re from Florida, specifically Tampa Bay: the lightning capital of�the world.�Todo el mundo, for our Spanish-speaking friends. We�re not gonna let a little thing like a Mid-West hail & shitstorm scare us. No, siree. Why? Because we�re�stupid!
They herded everyone, soggy performers and patrons alike, to two "storm shelters." And those shelters were fine for getting out of the rain, but I�m betting that they would not had lasted very long when the tornadoes hit. Luckily, we did not have to test this theory.
Everyone milled around for a while when a couple of the musical performers, the Jolly Rogers being included in this count, decided to sing for the shivering masses. This being not such a bad idea, we took our swords-which due to the rain were now rusting with a quickness-"on the road" and headed over to the next shelter. A few organizational minutes later and we had us an impromptu�Sword Show. Minus most of the risqu� jokes due to the mixed, captive audience.
Indoor RenFest
Indoor RenFest Performing for the huddled masses
Performing for the huddled masses Storm destruction blues
Storm destruction blues
So, even though the rest of the faire day was a bust-they wound up closing early-we left those rain-soaked crowds a-smilin�. We left for the comfort of warm clothes in our hotel and a fun night in the casino. On the way out, the destruction from the storm was quite evident. In their wake, the winds left mangled metal bits of booth tents lying about like skeletal remains of the day. One of the fa�ades from the left side of our stage had split in half and been tossed torn to the ground. It was incredible...and fortunate that no one had been hurt in the process.
That was our "big happening" in Council Bluffs, Iowa. We had another faire day-which rained by the end, but nowhere�s near so badly-and then went our separate ways home. Overall, it was quite a story. However, it was much more exciting to live than it is to tell. Usually it�s the opposite with people, where the story is the greater experience, played up to enhance what was lacking in the living. But not with us. We get to live the adventure. Our lives are like that. Don�t ask me why, just lucky, I guess.
