I usually start off these journals after reading the previous month's entry; late, naked, sitting in front of my massive television, and wondering where to start.
Some things are different, some remain the same.
I am in an upstairs area (I call it my garret) in the John Coiner pottery booth at the Colorado renaissance festival. I've outfitted my dusty boho room as a combination office and nursery. I'm being "Mister Mom", Heather is working downstairs... selling scarves, sarongs and outfits while being beautiful, Scarlett is sleeping beside me, drums are being sold at another part of the fair... it is quite a nice life right now.
 Daniel's first meet and greet |
I'm fully clothed, listening to the murmur of voices, the clanking of pottery, the roar of distant crowds... Ded Bob is out there somewhere as played by Muggsy... Jef is also here at Co RF... working as a manager of his good friend's leather booth, also like me supporting his wife's job.
Let's set the dial on the way-back machine to cover what I missed out on writing about before continuing to the present-day.
I actually finished last month's journal right before three really big events, one was the annual meet and greet for our GA fans, and like last year it was a LOAD of fun. It was the first time for our newest Twin, Febrizio/Daniel who seemed to have a very good time, there was bowling and eating... and drinking, and drinking each year Jef and I have befriended different bartenders at the bowling alley, each year slightly to our detriment.
The attendance was great we were surrounded by cool folks including über fans James and Maria Wynn there were folks who could bowl, and folks who could not and folks who didn't seem to care...
The package deal (arranged by our current and former chapter heads, and assisted by our cart hottie) also included bumper cars, where I clearly dominated... clearly survived? Cried like a little girl! But hey, at least my car was an awesome purple color! And then on to...
Laser tag!
 These folks are at every Meet & Greet |
 Bump baby! |
 Laser taggin' |
 Post laser taggin' |
Our team tried strategy, brute force, stealth, and blind luck... usually at the same time... the equipment was faulty (how else could you explain me being one of the lowest scorers when I looked so fierce?), there was running around, and jumping and ducking... after drinking no-less... a damned fun time.
But tiring.
Jef thankfully drove home, where I promptly fell asleep while cuddling with my other best girl. Not one of my most complimentary photos, but I'm happy just holding that babe o' ours!
We also had the triple-header day... It started at lunch, sushi for our dear friend Aunt Dakota... it's so funny, she's practically Heather's sister, and my very good friend, but this is after YEARS of her being kind of frosty and snooty to me while she was growing up... Her parents had convinced her I was an ogre, and to be fair, I was... just not to her, so I don't blame her... but our current relationship is just one of the many benefits of me having found Heather again.
After lunch we had to rush home and change for Andy's annual "White trash Party." Andy is a good friend, and hers is the house where both Riki and Daniel were renting rooms... Dressing as white trash was fun for me, and scary to see on my classy wife who let's face it, has impeccable taste in everything but husbands. I joked that for my wardrobe, I should just break into Muggsy's trailer and raid his closets... but I did rather well with my own stuff. Heather was shocking, and too convincing down to the tacky-make-up-and-cheesy-lip-liner.
Even Scarlett got into the action: diaper only, a brew and a smoke... my baby's ready for her appearance on Springer!
Our shy retiring, newest Tortuga tried his best... but apparently was too refined to really stand out and look the part... better luck next time you amazing bastard!
 Breeding will tell |
 White trash family |
 Can we pick 'm or what |
The Georgia show ended not with a bang, but with a whimper... at least we finally broke our trend of having it rain during our last show of the season... after four years!
The next few days saw us arranging trailers, and transporting them to both Denver and Tennessee, packing down Heather's booth, and our own, watching our daughter, and wondering where some of our stock got itself off to...
To back-track a little, I forgot to mention that we'd taken our lovely employees to a sushi feast at Ru San's, (Friday of the second-to-last-week) and that like me Jack had taken all his employees and their significant others to a really great Thai place nearby. I even got the pleasure of dining with our lovely Fan Club President, who seems to be more in Heather's fan club than mine these days... I also built brand-new shutters on our booth, and did a decent, if not great job at it... slowly transforming our world to meet our needs...
Thursday morning we we're supposed to be off the GA site by noon, and were only an hour or so late... a twenty minute jaunt up the road found us in the lovely Stone Mountain State Park RV resort. Very pretty, rustic, right on the lake, water taxi to the nearby laser extravaganza, pool... every night we heard the fireworks, and though the whole reason for going was to enjoy the things we'd missed last year, would you believe we STILL didn't enjoy any of the park's features.
 As if she wasn't ridiculous enough |
 Stone Mountain RV park |
There were trailer repairs, (minor) and malfunctioning satellite systems to deal with (repaired by a very nice Nigerian immigrant named Olu), there was combined lap-top repair and dog grooming evening, facilitated by Heather's friend's friends, Chris and Lauren.
Our fluffy six pound dog has become a shaved, four pound lion/dog/thing... seen here, taking a tiny dump.
Bright and early Tuesday am, off to BonnAroo.
Located in the farm lands, (not mountains as I'd assumed) of Tennessee is the friendly tiny town of Manchester. Once a year for seven years now the place is invaded by 80 thousand fans. As we approached the vendor's entrance, tucked away behind the corn we had no idea what we were getting into.
Our camping area was essentially a parking lot of grass, no water, no electric no sewer... we borrowed a faulty generator from my brother, who under-reported his distance from the site by at least an hour, didn't shower (other than bird baths) for almost a week, spent eighty bucks or more in gas for a generator that at times could only power our refrigerator, and a fan... no TV, AC or computer... it was in the nineties, when it wasn't raining, and I think I had eight hours of sleep in the five days.
I was a tired, stressed-out bear even before the show started, for weeks before, even. My two drum partners and I thought we'd been passed over and had already accepted that we wouldn't be at the 'roo this year, so when we got the call just a few short weeks before the event we all had the same reaction; "Great... and Oh Shit!"
There were taxes and licenses to arrange for, there was merchandise to be ordered, trailers to be transported, tickets to be acquired and delivered... drummers to be hired... I can sell drums and didgeridoos, but I can't play the damned things... and there was the financial risk... all told getting into BonnAroo cost me several thousand dollars...
Yikes!
Most of our non-import drums are made by Jimmii Griffin, from Toronto. Besides being a great guy, and my partner in the Minnesota and Colorado drum booths... He's also an incurable, loveable hippy. He and his "Girl du Jour" Angie came down from Canada to help out - lovely people, but all the arrangements to be made really taxed me...
 In the world past the corn lurks... BonnAroo |
 Jimmii, Ang, Scarlett and me |
 The quiet before the chaos |
There was chaos and disorganization everywhere... they had a lock down in place from 6pm Wednesday evening until 10am Thursday morning... though the music doesn't start until Thursday night the lock-down was to facilitate getting the multitudes into the site... since it was three days of music most of the throng camped in the MASSIVE campgrounds. Thursday we were required to be open from noon until 2am, and they suggested (and we complied) that we be open the entire four day 24 hour period.
This means we had a mere two hours after the lockdown to set up our drum emporium.
There was music and music and music and art and comedy and vendors and food... it was a four-day, live-in, state fair with incredible entertainment... BB King, Jack Johnson, Robert Plant, pearl Jam... I saw almost none of it...
I'd hoped to break away and see some of the comedy shows, including Will Ferrell's comedy troupe and web-sensation "funny or die"... but I only ever saw the tent from the outside - and that on the fourth day... I was in the booth from early in the morning (4:30 am one time) to late at night... and when I did lay down in the heat, and with anxiety gnawing at my belly... I couldn't really sleep... even the one night when Metallica was playing me a lullaby, clearly audible through our open windows, a half mile from the stage.
When I did sleep it was sure hard to get out of bed... with these two angels sleeping like lambs.
Heather was a trooper, fighting heat, dealing with baby, broken generators, grumpy husband, dirt, boredom, water rationing... though she didn't get to see the Jack Johnson concert, she clearly heard him through our windows... She did manage to tour the site a time or two... and we even took Scarlett around at one point, and though she was very well received by the attendees, heat, crowds, noise and confusion made it uncomfortable for us to expose her for very long... at least we can tell her that her very first concert experience was at the largest annual music event in the world!
 our domain, our empire |
 eeek! wet hippies |
At one point Heather pointed out "This is just like a Dead Show, on a much grander scale!" "Wait," I said "how on Earth would you know what a Grateful Deadshow was like?"
She merely smiled.
Damn woman, damned, funny, beautiful, clever, complex woman!
The campgrounds were so large that they had spawned their own separate stores, and vending areas, parties and facilities...
It was days of wildness, and topless woman wearing only body paint, dirty hippies and music ranging from passable to amazing. I did have one unsettling realization... It was just after hearing the loooong concert by former Grateful Dead alum Phil Lesh... I called my dred-locked employee (and friend) Justin to ask; "I've lived in a parking lot for five days, I haven't showered, I'm stinky, unshaven and I think my hair is starting to dred... now I've just heard a Phil Lesh concert... Justin, does this make me a Dead Head?
After a brief laugh he replied, "No, you're okay, Just like having sex with a man one time doesn't make you a homosexual."
Monday morning, after selling as much in four days of BonnAroo as we did in the nineteen days of the Georgia Renaissance festival, we packed up our booth, returned the generator to my brother, took his family to lunch, returned to the 'roo site... and in two trips took our house trailer and our U-Haul literally a mile and a half down the road to the KOA.
 Next year, maybe Tortugas will work here (Marquee says "Comedy Theatre") |
 At least someone was sleeping |
 bye-bye roo |
The KOA had water, a sewer line, real electricity... it was shaded, and lovely... we ran the air-conditioner full blast, showered, shaved, and relaxed a bit... That night I actually slept.
The following morning I re-distributed the stock we didn't sell from the U-Haul into the RV - we had a truck bed full of Didgeridoos and our Travel trailer's bed full of about twenty unsold drums... as well as hats, tambourines, ocarinas and other paraphernalia... We returned the U-haul and began a very leisurely trip to Denver.
Because our bed was full of stock, we actually had to stay in two different hotels along the way. We barely beat the flooding in St Louis... crossing a few days before the levees broke... and even managed to hit Heather's favorite Missouri Winery along the way.
I was a little aggravated with the delay, and the route taking us up small treacherous roads... I'm always terrified we're gonna get stuck someplace where we cannot turn around... after five years with this trailer Heather and I are finally becoming adept at driving, and more importantly backing into places... but it still stresses me out, and I got pretty grumpy until my delicate flower slapped me around a little and reassured me that I was competent enough to park in the winery's lot without even HAVING to do any tricky maneuvers.
I'm sorry I was grumpy, wifey.
 Stone Mountain winery, way up high! |
 four of my favorite things! |
 mmmmm wine |
 Too late for that |
The stress was totally worth it as we had a LOVELY lunch and delicious wine at the German-influenced winery. We had four of my favorite things... good wine, great food, cool atmosphere, and my awesome little fambly!
We toured the winery, had a tasting, bought some wine to go and enjoyed a respite from the drive.
We inadvertently toured a tiny piece of the picturesque town, even finding a surprising, and ironic shop sign in the process.
We travel more slowly now... and I think we'll be utilizing campgrounds more often now. Why not have power, water and sewer, take a shower in the AM, rather than sweating in a noisy truck stop or a Wal-Mart parking lot?
This trip however, as I mentioned, we were relegated to hotels... including one in Kansas that sold really crappy wine in its lobby (but had a GREAT omelet bar for breakfast!).
I knew the trailer was full, and feared we were overloaded... but I didn't realize how badly until we had to struggle for a half hour to get my constantly stalling trailer up the steep hill at the campground in Castle Rock. I had to chock the trailer wheels to keep the house from sliding down the mountain, and of course when the engine stalled, the power steering and brakes quit too... sheesh.
Our great friends Byron and Arlene have the campsite next to ours... and Justin and Megan showed up as we struggled up the hill so we could offload all of the merchandise in our house, and finally reclaim it as our domicile.
Friday saw us moving in, organizing and the beginning of another construction project... more on that in a bit - and finally Saturday we joined Jack Akers, (Heather's boss and our friend) as if we were tourists at the Colorado Renaissance festival. Pushing the baby carriage in the hot, dry thin air was a chore... but it sure was fun, and weird, to be standing at a festival in shorts, sunglasses, and drinking beer from a plastic cup.
We shopped, and ate and eventually became bored. Several people were surprised to not only see a Tortuga Twin at the CO show, but to see me not working... I actually got to smarmily explain that I was a booth owner, and was living off of my wife... My real job while here was to be "Mr. Mom."
We checked out operations at the CO drum booth, and went home early and contentedly.
Sunday we didn't even bother coming to the fair, instead we had a nice relaxing brunch with Jack down in Castle Rock, and went home early to catch up on some much needed sleep.
 Tourists |
 our domain, again |
 another roof to repair |
Instead I was dressed, coffeed and on site at 8am, to do some construction with Jamie Harvey...
You see I've discovered I LIKE doing construction, especially with Jamie. I like the long hours, the muscle-taxing work, and learning a new skill. Every time we work together I tell him, "If you ever need help on a job, call me!" This time he did.
I've put in forty hours in four days this week (not counting lunch breaks) putting a new roof on one booth, and installing a paver-stone floor in another. Now I'm not only working my muscles, and learning a new skill... but I'm getting paid well to do it.
Bonus!
I'll work with Jamie until I leave on Thursday for the tall Ships of Tacoma festival... including putting yet another roof on another of my booths... and then starting the Tuesday I return from Washington state, I ain't doin' NOTHING...
Sure.
Finally, I want to publicly apologize to my "brothers", my fan club President, my daughter, (though she got the least of it) and especially my amazing wife for being such a BEAR, (and by bear, I mean ASSHOLE) the last month or so... BonnAroo, Colorado, time without a job, and all that jazz has really stressed me... thanks all of you for not killing me.
I would have.
[What, no apology for the webmaster? Asshole. - AB]
As for my fans, aren't you glad you only get to see the happy stage persona?
