So…today is May 30th

I am five days late, sweating in my broken trailer... (besides the leaky tanks, our air conditioning is on the fritz now too!) London is curled-up at my feet... Heather is doing paperwork for one of her jobs behind me, and the second movie of the day (American Dreamz) is playing on the massive TV before me.

I originally had forty-five photos in the May journal folder when the day started... I looked at them and there were just too many too many to get rid of them all, so I have spent the last three-and-a-half hours making photo montages for you. I am also going to suggest to Andrew that he makes each photo a link to the full-scale version, so not all of the action is lost. [And by 'suggest' I'm sure you mean 'tell', since you're the one signing the checks... um, I am eventually getting paid for this, right? Not just another box of Tortuga Tshirts...? - AB]

May, wow, busy!

I'll start the journal off with a trip to a show that might surprise you. Yes, I, Ronn Bauman actually went to see Christina Aguilera. Truth-be-told Heather, Jef, Sharon, and I were actually going to see one of the two opening acts for her, the super-sexy Pussycat Dolls! Very nice! Christina put on a hell of a show as well, and the other, opening act some manufactured girl band created on TV by Diddy were pretty hot too. Even the girls in the crowd all seemed to go out of their way to look especially sexy (read that as: "slutty") But charmingly enough the only woman I really wanted... even including the super-hot, super-limber PCD dancers, was my very own Heather bunny.

 

On the way to the concert - click for full-size

Sometimes things work out really well in my life... on the way home from the concert we passed by Turner Field. Heather is a Kansas City girl, and a huge fan of the KC Royals. Me? I just don't understand the appeal of baseball (to be fair, the last time I went to a game was to see the Mets play in 1969). Heather lamented, as we drove past the field as to how long it had been since she'd been to a game.

Coincidentally enough, that very weekend, the overly sweet Matt, of the very talented Lost Boys offered me some Baseball Tickets, great tickets, tickets on the Lexus level! (I didn't even know what that meant... but I was quite impressed when we got there.) Great seats, interesting trip around the park, and a game I couldn't have cared less about. I did the important things: hot dogs, beers, and of course, Cracker Jacks. I still don't enjoy baseball... but it sure won't be hard for Heather to talk me into seeing a game again... it was a pretty fun experience.

 

Take me out to the ball game - click for full-size

Speaking of the frickin' Lost Boys... somewhere in here I had a birthday... and those sneaky fellas crept-up to our house in the middle of the night and deposited a huge bag full of fattening foods and beverages... mostly in their colors (where on earth do you find so much teal food?), but since we had a big trip planned for the next day - I just contributed it as road food!

 

Damn Lost Boys - click for full-size

For those who have read my journals for a while, you'll remember that last year, Heather, Muggsy, Collette, and I had a great trip to Orlando ... so we decided to do it on a bigger and grander scale this year. We also invited our great friends Jeremy and Dakota (you'll remember we visited the aquarium in Atlanta with them last year).

Before we go any further, I really need to thank a couple of folks who were really instrumental in making this trip awesome:

First: Billy Scadlock (of billyscadlock.com) was nice enough to give us passes into Universal... mailed, at his own great expense overnight from his world headquarters in Vegas.

Second: Both James Songster, and Joe Veccarelli of bunniesinperil.com / itsunbelievablemagic.com who walked us into the gates at Disney, and tour-guided us around for the whole damned day.

Lastly: Tampa Chapter Head, Jay Bowen, who got us an incredible rate on our room.

SO the trip started off tardy... we were very delayed dealing with Heather's broken car... as you remember she was in a pretty serious accident last month... and the insurance company went ahead and totaled her car after all. The only bright side was that we got a minivan so all of us could ride together, comfortably.

Yes, a minivan.

Interestingly enough, the entertainment director for this fair actually stopped us as we were driving off on our trip... just to mock us and our vehicle! She was even more thrilled to see that it contained both of her 'bad-boy' acts... darned Muggsy.

My actual birthday was spent driving from Atlanta to Orlando... we arrived very late, and rather giddy... though the bottle of Vodka and the smoking may have added to it a bit... don't feel bad for me, I was with some of my favorite people. There was a moment (before the minivan was attacked by an armadillo) when we were all singing and dancing (as much as a minivan allows) and driving along in our own, mobile disco.

Good times!

Jef and Sharon joined us the next morning, where after a brief delay waiting for our host to show up... a delay delightfully spent amused by the moving talking potted-palm, we entered Disney's Animal Kingdom. If you look you can see Everest in the background of the group shot.

 

Orlando trip Day One - click for full-size

Animal Kingdom isn't solely critters, there are rides, (Everest, baby!) shows, ("It is Tough to be a Bug" blew us away!) and exhibits... and drinking! And there are animals...

The flying foxes, Tigers, nocturnal critters and all the others fauna really 'wowed' us.

 

Bats, and tigers, and hot asian babes, oh my! - click for full-size

We squeezed in a train ride, and drinking, some dancing, and drinking, I skipped the water-ride (so we could do some more drinking...)

In the picture below which shows Muggsy and Collette posing at the end of the day with James (James the Unbelievable) - clockwise from the upper left: Joe and I mug for the camera, we pose with a Florida-sized ant, Jef looks studly on the animal caravan train ride, Ronn and Heather chowing at the Japan Pavilion of Epcot, Ronn, running out of steam as the day draws down.

 

Orlando trip end of Day One - click for full-size

We finished seeing most of the premier sites in Animal Kingdom... though I swear we walked back-and-forth a least seven times and then shifted over to Epcot to continue the day, and eat dinner later with reservations made my Jef and Sharon.

More rides, shows, fireworks, great cuisine (mmmm Francais) and Muggsy bought our wonderful host dinner... (Thanks M!) eventually the night wound down, we bid adieu to Jef and Sharon, and we retreated to our awesome suite just a few miles away.

Two bedrooms, two baths, full kitchen... we hit a liquor store, Jeremy cooked breakfast the next morning, and we jetted off to day two of our fun and sun.

For last year's adventure, Heather was sick, so Muggsy and Collette had to brave a nearby tropical storm (bordering on a hurricane) and do the Universal part of the adventure without us. Though we repeatedly told them that there were two parks... they somehow managed to only find one park that day. This trip was designed to correct that.

There was a little friction... Dakota simply cannot ride roller coasters... and all the energy others were putting into trying to convince her to was actually making things worse... but man-oh-man did we have fun. We started in Islands of Adventure... the most magical of all the parks, and my personal favorite. They have sections devoted to Marvel Superheroes, Jurassic Park, Lost worlds, and Dr. Seuss... We hit all the best rides: Hulk, Spiderman (which is the best ride ever!) One of the two Dueling Dragons, a few Dr. Seuss rides... and then a hop and a skip over to the other Universal Park.

 

Orlando trip Day Two - click for full-size

Terminator Two was a hit... Twister too (though Heather skipped it... she's from Kansas and that is too close to home) ... We did Mummy twice... the second time Dakota went too, but was in tears the entire time... Men in Black, Jaws, pretty much all the cool stuff. Finally, a tired, slightly damp, moderately drunken ride to find a Carrabba's and then home to bed.

It was hard to come back to the world of renaissance festivals and drum booths (and Tortuga Responsibilities) after most of a week devoted to fun, but the one bright point was a visit from our very-own Fan Club President Sharyn Watson!

It was nice to have her visit. Heather took most of a day to keep her company... we threw a barbecue in her honor that Saturday night... (and also had another surprise guest, the ever-hot Vickie from our TortugaPalooza 2 dance troupe.) Clockwise from the left, Sharon, Sharyn, and the Buxom Holly. Heather, Walt Walters, and sexy, sexy Vickie, and London... apparently drunk again. She really IS my cat. The background shows our back deck on the drum booth... which is becoming 'party central' and features Matt the pirate, and dear, old friend Holly Blaine.

 

Party on the patio - click for full-size

Actually, parties on our deck seemed to be very common... we also, just a few nights later, threw a party to prepare for the newest Pirates of the Caribbean movie. Jef brought his projector, and Sharon went all-out to throw a hell of a shindig... steamed mussels, clams, shrimp, kebabs, loads of booze... by the end of the night loads of people I didn't even know, showed-up. There was even a brief intermission when the amazing Pirates porno was shown... yummy! Two nights later we were at the theater with Jef, Sharon, Collette, and Dakota (do you recognize her from the Don Juan and Miguel show?) we got to see the early show, for free (thanks Lois!) and afterwards, I took advantage of the new Simpsons Movie display.

 

Party on the patio II - Pirates! - click for full-size

The final photo is a montage dedicated to my baby. It has been a running joke back in Kansas City... Her friend (and our Photographer) Ann Brown and her hubby always call her 'monkey', in fact the photo in the upper right corner was Ann's birthday card to me... so when, in Animal Kingdom I saw this huge monkey sculpture... I had to pose her thusly. Finally, as you may know, I often refer to Heather as My Delicate Flower of the Orient... Dfoto for short... so when I saw this sign...

 

Homage to my monkey - click for full-size

So that wraps up May... I should have put photos from Dakota's birthday party last night... very nicely arranged by my lovely sweetie-pie... but it would have just been more photos of people drinking (Mojitos, no less) on our deck. I am finishing writing this month's journal topless, freshly showered; I have a meet-and-greet to go to in 9 minutes...

I'll bring my camera.

There are a few other last-minute developments... but I guess you'll have to wait until June's journal.

Ciao