I’m Running Out of Things To Write About

A wise man once said: you can have anything in life, as long as you are willing to sacrifice everything for it... mine is kinder, you can have anything you want, but you cannot have everything you want.I'm running out of things to write about here... it seems like my last few journals have been very similar, and very rushed. But this one will get me all current.

I have also run out of most of my topics left in my journal folder... I am afraid I might be repeating myself.

My Name is Earl is on; the rain we had earlier has really brought the temperature down. When we first got to Louisiana it was 76 plus degrees... quite a change from the chilly end of our NC season. I was actually angry earlier... the electricity is a too spotty to run my AC here, and I needed to. Finally though winter has caught up.

As I type, Heather-bunny is bundled-up on the couch. Damn I am crazy 'bout the girl. Red Daughter, (our Pomeranian) is cuddled up at Heather's feet... and Grey Daughter (London) is on the chair besides them both.

Heather and Dakota at the bar

Scrubs is what is showing now... Heather has just sleepily informed me that she hates me. I don't think she was serious... but I'm not sure.

We had an interesting conversation when we first arrived here. We had a very, very trying trip from NC to Lou. When we finally arrived there were lots of problems with our campsite (more on all of that later) but the important part of this discussion is that our new campsite is across the road from a huge dump pit. Filled with trash and Katrina rubble... Heather picks up the walkie talkie as we are wrestling our trailer into position and I hear this sweet statement coming over the tinny speaker; "Darling, all those years ago when I had romantic visions of running away and joining the Renaissance Festival, all of these times when I have dreamt of our life together, I never imagined you would take me to live in a landfill."

I think she was joking about hating me.

So what's to report this time out?

• Another student day to replace the rained out one
• A comedy night out
• Funky Formal
• Meet and greet NC
• What's it take to get out of NC?
• What, no campground?
• My two Thanksgivings
• Guess who works for the Tortuga Twins?
• Party in the quarter

So before we left Carolina we had much to do... we managed to make it out to the bar once... Sayeed's it is called... I really just mentioned it so I could include this photo of Heather and Dakota... I know, I have watched Cody grow up from a very young girl. And I really can't think of Cody in that way... but Andy can! [As it happens, I've known Dakota since she was ten or so as well (since I first started performing at the MI faire) so I've sort of seen her grow up as well. Fortunately, I have virtually no scruples at all, so keep them pictures coming...! -AB]

The boss rescheduled the student day... and it rained a bit that time too... but thousands of screaming young-uns came out... and we did what we always do... a cleaned up and shortened version of our R-rated show... for propriety and to protect the youngsters.

We managed to make it out to see an amazing arena comedy show... Carlos Mencia. Wow! I want crowds like that! The show was awesome... and enlightening too. Panic! At the Disco was also playing that night... at a second arena right next door. The management had to shuttle us to the parking lots. We hammed it up on the shuttle.

I've written enough about Funky Formals that we all know what they are by now. My good friend Muggsy was the one who organized this formal. He went all out. Rented a local night club (NV, in Lake Norman) had it catered by the local, yummy, east Indian buffet. Swanky!

 

Coming home from Carlos

This is how my baby gets ready

But these are the results

It is funny to me how I have fallen into some truly traditional and cliché roles... I don't understand why and how Heather shops so much for example, or why she has to have so many different purses... yet another way she is cartoonishly cliché? Watch her try to get dressed some time! She has more than twice the storage space than I do, not counting the full second trailer we pull, and it is mostly devoted to her clothing. But of course she can never find anything to wear. To make it to the formal that night took hours, several changes of clothes, a couple of breakdowns where she SWORE she wasn't going out tonight... and a bed that ended-up looking like the photo above but when you see the results how can you complain?

(Click for the .AVI)

Like I said, Muggsy tried to go all out with this party. Wanted it to be impressive and memorable. He'd thought of food, drinks, music... he'd done quite well. What Muggsy didn't know about however, was the smoke detectors in the Men's Rooms. As we approached the club we were greeted by this scene, caused by the Dope-smokin-hippies-who-set-off-the-smoke-detector....

It was a fun party, pretty folks dressing up Riki and I looked pretty good.

 

Studs at the Formal

Uh-Huh!

The love of my life (uh, Heather, not Jef)

I drank too much, danced with my Heather, and home we went. That was Wednesday.

Thursday was the NC meet and greet... at least this one was close... a mere few miles away. And fun. Ada Whitten was able to get her contest winnings... some props from the shooting of Palooza 2 (like the bike in the photo), and we got to hang out and bowl with both old fans and new... Angie Wheatley even showed up just in the nick o' time... so it was a great time. That was Thursday.

The next night was company dinner with Heather's boss and coworkers. Roadhouse grill, (nice steaks!) Jack bought us all dinner, and we had a great time hanging out with the folks... including someone who has become Heather's Best friend out here, the Lovely Jade. I hope you appreciate the irony of this; when I first met Heather, who is very in-aptly named for an Asian girl, she was best friends with this nice little white girl, who went by the name Suki. Now Heather's closest friend is a beautiful black babe surprisingly named ‘Jade Sun'.

 

Meet 'n Greet in NC

Dinner with Jack

Jade Sun, Heather's best friend

So here is what was supposed to happen as part of leaving North Carolina, on the way to Louisiana:

• A week before the show ended, I was supposed to take my trailer in for repairs, and stay with Frank and Kelly
• The weekend before we left was for packing up
• The day we left was for getting the new tires I purchased placed on my trailer, and having the trailer aligned
• An easy 12 hour drive to Hammond
• Set up in my normal campsite, aim my dish, and go shopping
• Thursday, a relaxing series of Thanksgiving dinners.

But that wasn't what really happened.

First of, the RV place couldn't get the tanks I need... so I had to reschedule the repairs for during the time of Palooza... so I have a 1660 mile round trip to look forward to. Second off, the place the RV shop recommended for the tire replacement... wasn't equipped for my vehicle. I got up before dawn so that we could get an early start on the road. After finding myself, and my house in downtown Charlotte, pointlessly, I had to find another shop that could handle my trailer. Eight miles away was another shop... where I waited, and waited for my turn... it had slipped past lunch time already, and I was waiting on Heather to bring me some food... after she finished her last minute tasks at the fair... She finally met up with me after one thirty... just as they were finally getting ready to change my tires. I asked her to go grab us some lunch and by the time she returned, we could eat together and then leave.

They get my trailer in the garage, pop the old tires off the rims and put the new tires on... only to inform me that they cannot spin balance the tires - they don't have the right equipment.
Shit.
They suggest they could pile the four tires and wheels into a truck, take them all to another location, spin balance them and return them and mount them... probably a couple of hours delay... as I was weighing the option, I get a call from Heather...
Her car had broken down.

Understand she also has a cargo trailer on her car... so I cannot even have AAA tow her.

Shit again!

So, I forgo the wheel spin balance for a later date... and (pulling my house behind me) go to rescue Heather. AAA can't tow the truck and trailer, so I have to arrange for a second tow truck, at 85 smackers, to pull the trailer to Frankie D's Dealership where he would try to get her vehicle fixed, and on the road.

We finally got a break. When the AAA tow truck driver arrived, he was able to fix the problem with Heather's car... and save me the cost and delay of the second truck.

We finally hit the road just before rush hour... and had some more stress and arguments to boot and finally we were on our way.

We drove until late in the night, and finally stayed in the parking lot of a Home Depot. It was cold, so we turned on the heater. What we didn't realize was that there was a problem with the battery in the trailer, and it wasn't charging properly. The next morning when it was time to continue on our way - and we had to pull in the bedroom slide, we couldn't. The heater fan motor had drained the battery. I had to run jumper cables from Heather's car just to get the slide operated.

We continued our journey... my goal was to get settled in to our site in LA, get the satellite dish aimed, and be able to relax before Thursday's festivities... but when we finally got to the site - our space wasn't available.

We spent that first night parked in my mother's front yard. The positive side of that was that we made her happy, and got a bonus Thanksgiving dinner with Mom and Frank.

The down side was we couldn't go shopping, and had stuff to do in the afternoon to get ready before Thanksgiving.

We finally got in, got leveled, got the dish aimed... We showered and headed off to one of the high points of this fair: Thanksgiving at Jamie and Bob Hauser's.

This has become a Ronn Tradition, and I was very pleased to bring Heather along. The Hauser house is very loud, chaotic, warm, and Jamie is one of the most wonderful women I have ever met. Finally Heather got to see something positive about Louisiana. She was having fun. The food was great, (I made homemade cranberry sauce) the company was swell (lots of entertainers, and just cool folks), I fell asleep in the comfy chair, after some skylarking with Riki.

Meanwhile, Heather got to witness another Hauser-house tradition, the application to Bob's ass of the temporary tattoos! That's Marrus, and the very respectable Bob Hauser... there was some (okay LOTS) of drinking involved. Sigh.

 

MMMmmm tryptophan

A Thanksgiving tradition

Gosh, I'm tired... but we're almost done;

Heather is now working for the Tortugas here in LA. She is a breaker, and part time rose seller for us (We call ‘em "Rose Ho's")... I find it truly amusing to be her boss.

Finally, I'm sure Riki and Jef have written about the game they are shooting video for with our friend Omar... well I am also playing a part in the game... I'm a bad guy. (go figure)

We used it as an excuse to meet with everyone in the quarter, Jef had flown Sharon in... and while they were getting "acquainted" again (what Heather and I call "napping") the rest of us killed some time at Café Du Monde.

We did some shopping as well: my Lovely and Naughty Heather, I am happy to report, picked up another set of stripper shoes... (YAY!)

 

Café Du Monde

Mistress H

In the gay bar bathroom

And this final photo shows the effects of a night of much drinking... as we are together, post hanky-panky in the restroom of a gay bar on Bourbon... we are such floozies!

Alright, now it is time to finally get some sleep... but I'll give you one final photo - Merry Freakin' Christmas!

 

Xmas TortugaYahoo, I'm caught up!