To you guys this may seem really late night, to me - it is just night.
I am sitting after the first weekend of the Charlotte show... Just finished watching the season finale of Nip/Tuck (wow!!!!) and am now watching a very beautiful Asian girl take her clothes off on the playboy channel.
It has been a busy day and a very busy month.
So much to write to you guys!
First; London - Satan Kitty has been very well behaved lately. Considering the move, and all of the company that has been here the past few weeks I am amazed... I am sure she’ll screw things up eventually. I love the little grey fur-ball. She screws-up my sleep, scratches-up my furniture and costs me oodles of extra money in un-planned laundry... But I am her daddy... so nuff said.
No matter how many times I tell girls that visit that she won’t like them, the girls keep trying. I had two really lovely young ladies over the other night and London threw a fit! (Hissing and scratching!) The only real exceptions: She really seemed to like Melissa.... But that might be because she had Melissa trained. When April came and visited the other night --- she seemed to remember her too.
London sends her love.
I am reading over last month’s journal to see what I need to cover this month. Meanwhile the girl on Playboy TV is doing some very distracting things. Gulp!
All of my community service is done, I am having problems locating a driving school here in NC... and to make matters worse: I thought all of this was dealt with, from a legal standpoint. I had lost driving privileges in GA but they didn’t have the authority to revoke or suspend my FL driver’s license... so as long as I don’t drive in GA until October ninth when the suspension is over - I am golden right?
Wrong!
Last week of Minnesota I received a letter in the mail. Florida has suspended my driver’s license. It has in fact been suspended since the trial in June. So I have been driving illegally since then. Worse: the suspension isn’t over in Florida until December ninth... While I was in Minnesota there wasn’t anything I could do.
I am now rolling dice every time I drive. One missed red light or moment of speeding - I could go to jail.
Further, I may NOT be able to get it restored at all while I am here. Or may not be able to get the requirements taken care of so I can get a hardship license. Currently I am just trying to dodge the shadow of the hawk until another 60 days pass... I'll make some calls tomorrow; see if there is a fix. But wait, there’s more... I have to take a driving course anyway as part of my GA probation, I have waited this long because this is the only state on my tour that has courses valid for GA... only no one in NC seems to know where these courses are.
I am sure that I will get it all sorted out... but for now I am keeping my driving, especially my night driving, to a bare minimum!
 Palooza fans 90 minutes before the show |
What else: These are the topics I will cover in the rest of this post.
- TortugaPalooza Minn
- Minnesota fair
- Girls of note: Emily, Heather, and then Threesome
- Melissa update
- Love this country love this life!
- TortugaPalooza Charlotte
- Charlotte fair
- April
TortugaPalooza Minnesota was a qualified success.
The room was wonderful; the crew was wonderful (with one notable exception)
The crowds were great... though sparse
If we had only booked one night we would be ecstatic... over the two nights we seated around 500 folks... but over two nights the room could have seated 1200.
The room certainly felt full... the crowds were very receptive. This version of TortugaPalooza (sans the baby sketch, and with most of the food products removed from the ending) was a lot more fun to perform. We got to improv and play and actually enjoy ourselves.
Joe's Garage was also a fine sight for the after party and I imagine we will use both the theater and Joe’s again.
 My room was neater |
 Professional dancers |
 Spencer Humm, Super Hero |
- Promote it more
- Do not use the stage manager/lighting girl... she couldn’t figure out our simple lighting requirements... and she tried to rip us off
- Train the snobby help in the lobby a bit better. Not our sales crew - they were ANGELS! But some of the usherettes expressed great disdain (out loud) for our ‘lowbrow humor’
- Book only ONE night - perhaps with an option for a second night
Still the DVDs are selling like fire, and each DVD and each ticket holder is an advertisement for ‘Palooza 2
Panty raid were once again fun, better than last time to work with.
Hack and Slash streamlined their show... and John utterly freaked me out on successive nights - Night one, when I (un planned) went out to kiss him... he latched on to me and wouldn’t let go... he’s a BIG guy and I couldn’t go ANYwhere. On night two his plan, voiced by Spencer, was this: "When Ronn kisses you, take him to the floor... the joke doesn’t begin until he is done." Which is just what happened (eeeeeeek!) After having the mountain of a man on top of me, squishing me all helpless-like I was so glad that I am NOT a girl!
Also during the second night’s performance I called my mother (who was very upset she couldn’t make it) from the stage and had the audience tell her I loved her (so I am a Mamma’s boy... so what?)
 Riki and Alethea the fluffer |
 Our backstage photographer, before 'Palooza |
 Ssssexy... |
Last year, the last show of the season we set a new record for tips... but we are goal-oriented Tortugas, so after that, we raised our dream figure. Set a target for 2004 for the best single tip amount ever.
That Saturday we blew our new goal away.
We did the only logical thing of course: raised our bar even higher, set a new pie-in-the-sky amount for Sunday - we again set a new record... but missed the dream amount by $7.45 (you should have seen us digging through our clothes to make sure we got all of the moolah.
The Saturday show had an addition to our yearly tradition of welcoming the Joust-crew to the high-heckle seat... this year they were joined by our new favourite local act Ten Seconds of Harmony (who arrived in a Chinese Dragon believe it or not - then rocked the crowd with a rousing song).
Sunday was just us - in FINE form... much beer was drunk, much hair was pulled, boys and girls were kissed...and I ended-up wearing red sequined pasties (with tassels)
Wow.
That’s all I can say about that.
Another wonderful thing occurred: when I first went on the road. I fell in love with an amazing group of jugglers - The Flaming Idiots. They were (and are) my heroes. I have always been a little intimidated by them, a touch star-struck...
Sunday my favorite of the troupe, John, showed up at the fair. For the first time ever I felt I was his equal... I could welcome him to our house, which used to be their stage - It certainly felt great!
 Backstage at MN on the final day |
 John of the Idiots |
I actually went out with a girl who was a member of our Members-Only Club... And she asked me to mention her (Hi Heather!) pretty girl, great figure, smart, literate (great taste in books), but attached (sigh). Still we had a nice date...
I also met a girl who really and unexplainably captivated me.
Her name is Emily; she is an actress, mostly indie stuff. We haven’t fooled around at all... A lunch date, a few conversations. An irony of the situation: I seem to meet the most amazing women during the last week of my time in any town. Actually I hooked-up with Emily a little earlier, before TortugaPalooza, but she had to leave for Hollywood right after our lunch date. She returned in time to watch the Thursday ‘Palooza show - and come to the after-show party (with her very protective cousin), then while I had evening after the fair available, she was doing a night shoot for another small film being shot in Minneapolis. She was hitting bed each morning while I was heading off to the fair. Still, she stayed-up long enough on Sunday to come out to the show and just chat some with me...
I don’t know what it is about this girl; she is very pretty - but not earth-shattering.
She is smart and funny... a little vanilla with some very interesting bits... She is inspiring. She just ran a Marathon because (are you ready for this) she has a list of things she hasn’t done in her life and she is slowly doing them.
I am trying to convince her to come visit me in Florida, and I will certainly be visiting LA whilst in Phoenix this year. There is even a possibility that she may get work as an extra on one of my favourite TV shows... I told her if she does I would HAVE to sleep with her!
Again I don’t know what it is about this girl... but there is a nice spark... and in typical Ronn fashion I explained this to her (even on the first date). Rather than doing the sensible thing and running... she seems equally interested.
Yay!
Don’t worry kids, Not ALL of my stories are benign, non-sexual dinner dates.
 Three's company |
I met a very nice young lady at the fair, and we went out and shared several enjoyable evenings together. She wanted to come visit on my last Friday night in town, I said okay, but she also wanted to bring along her girlfriend who was in town.
"Was she cute?" I asked.
"Of course, she is my girlfriend."
"Then bring her along" I suavely said.
Usually when a girl says ‘her friend is cute’, you can bet on a swell personality... but not much else. When the girls arrived that Friday night - I thought I had won the lottery! She was Norwegian and Hispanic, looked Asian, had great legs and was fun and beautiful.
It is currently 2:20 am, I have been too distracted with writing and trailer stuff to watch the playboy girls. I am eating yogurt and fighting off the chill.
A gentleman never kisses and tells.
I am not completely a gentleman.
Nor am I completely a Cad... but you are paying for more than average access. How about I enclose a photo from that night, I had the girls put on sweaters so they could go outside and smoke (the photo is taken right outside of Jef’s trailer in the campground). Notice the stripper shoes!
I guess this brings me to Melissa.
Look, I like her and I love her and I miss her... But we don’t have a chance... at least right now. There are several reasons; the easiest to explain is the separation... 8 months a year is just too much to be apart.
Only, that reason - really isn’t.
I am such a romantic that I would have at least tried. But the thought didn’t seem to occur to her.
I was also concerned enough about a few other issues. In the end this seems to be the best answer.
This winter we will only be a few hours apart... I probably won’t make the drive.
Am I being logical or cowardly? Am I a victim, or heartless? Tonight who cares?
I DO love her, and will always look out for her... There are so few women that have the potential to be more - it certainly seems a shame...
So here I am in one of my favourite parts of the country, during one of my favorite parts of the year. I LOVE this country; I love my life... even when the fates are being a little troublesome...(every time I drive now I face JAIL!) even when life is kicking my butt... I am so lucky.
Television has morphed now from Playboy to Al Franken on the Sundance channel... I am a hard-core liberal (go figure). I should go to bed soon, big day tomorrow. There is a very swanky strip club in this town, with an amazing luncheon buffet... so Titties and food tomorrow! (Yay!)
TortugaPalooza here in NC has been cancelled... there were quite a few reasons. We are having problems with the venue, with promotions, with the fair owner, and scheduling too. This way we get to just take a break. All of the folks who got tickets will receive a full refund, as well as a gift from our catalog (of their choice) We are truly sorry... this show is such fun, but if we did it under these circumstances it wouldn’t be up-to-snuff!
Charlotte’s first weekend is "in the books" as they say. Two of our Uber-fans have come to the opening weekend... Hi Sharyn, Hi Angie! The weather was a bit uncooperative... and did some weird dramatic things (Angels, dead angels!) Love this show... love this town.
Oh enough...
Finally, went out to dinner and a bar with April the other night. We are still quite good friends. But we certainly turned a few heads when we came in to the bar.
It is now morning, two days later.
The buffet at the Men’s Club was great... Pretty girls and great food. I think that I need to sleep with a stripper or two to get out of this funk. There were at least two there that were captivating! I always laugh at guys who go to strip clubs and think the girls are genuinely interested, who think they can get laid.
I laugh even more at how many times I have done just that.
So sweet, pretty girls, yummy food, political conversations and small talk with my friend John Spurvey... a good day.
One thing I like... no, LOVE about Charlotte... Yesterday I went to a movie after all of the errands I had to accomplish. I was greeted no less than 8 times on my trip around the mall. We have such a strong devoted fan-base here.
It is a common theme in comedy and in books that "Life is Tough" ... that the world is out to get you.
Bullshit.
Life is great, and you are presented with all of the tools to live happy and well... look around. See what amazing cards you have been dealt - and play to win.
I think I will eventually have to write a self-help book one day.
Back to April; Freddy VS Jason is playing now on my DVD player... this is not indicative of some hidden message. I miss her sometimes, especially at this time of the year. She was a great girlfriend at first... very fun, and sexy and devoted. It is odd to hang out with her now. She is a different woman - like she has forgotten who and what she is... When we were dating she would sometimes criticize me for not understanding my self-worth and valuing myself to little... if only she could see that that is what she is now laboring under. On some levels she is doing really well... she just received a sizable raise at her company (internet sales and marketing). She has cleaned-up her act a lot as far as drinking and what-not...
‘Nuff about that too.
As I said before, she is now and always will be my friend... or as Riki sums it up: "She is Family."
 Our survivor |
So more computer work and six more weekends of Charlotte.
One-way-or-another we WILL bring TortugaPalooza two to Charlotte next year.
One final thing I forgot to mention... Throughout the years I have read every single piece of fan e-mail I have ever gotten. A few years back we all got a piece that really touched us (I think it is even catalogued in the ‘Fan Submission’ section.) I very nice woman had just gotten some devastating news right before coming to our show. At what was surely one of the lowest points in her life she really needed and appreciated the laughter we brought her. She now celebrates each year of her cancer survival at our show... and now at TortugaPalooza. If I ever have to defend my life’s choices the healing and joy we have brought this woman will allow me to go to heaven. So lady don’t thank us... thank you!
Alright ‘Gee... I gots to bounce!
