I was strolling in Georgia one day, in the Merry Merry month of May!

Surprise! I’m a week late.

I know; so out of character right? I have been even more busy than usual. Our social schedule is even more full than usual; including two pleasure trips, and between two teams of working Tortugas, a glass business, a drum business, and at least peripherally; Heather’s clothing business. I’m swamped. Right now, I’m wearing shorts; I have a business meeting in a half hour. I’m dreading stepping out of my more-or-less air conditioned RV and into the oppressive, wet blanket that this spring in Atlanta has been. We have very “sketchy” electrical power here, and with temps and humidity both in the 90s… uuuggh! Scarlett is dancing on a chair beside me – singing the theme for “SuperWhy and the Super Readers”. I need a vacation, a better source of electricity, and cooler temps STAT!

Both the Twins and My wife’s and my businesses are everywhere at once.

The original team of Tortugas are preparing for their final weekend of the Georgia Renaissance Festival. The Blue team has just finished their freshman year in Muskogee Oklahoma, and is travelling today to South Dakota. Heather is testing a shop out there in Siouxland, and having to run it long distance. Next week the Drums business heads to Denver, The Tortuga Twins travel to Chippewa Falls, and I think Heather is going to Denver for some business and KC for a photo shoot. Whew.

The month of May also saw us everywhere at once.

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Our first trip was to my old tomping grounds, The Tampa Bay Area. I’m from there. Embarrassedly from there. Jef still has a house in St Pete, and was kind enough to lodge my family, my dogs and myself. Ostensibly the trip was so that we could visit our accountant, and get some tax stuff figured out. But since we would be in town a whole two days, I managed to: get drunk with Jef at his house. Visit the accountant where I was surprised to find one of my other dear-old friends also consulting her about taxes. And we had lunch with the always sweet Vecciarellis. The Vecciarellis are members of the show Magic and Mayhem, and really cool folks. Thanks Joe, Aneesa, and Lynell for taking time out of your schedule to have lunch with us! Both of these engagements were on the Tampa-side of Tampa Bay, we drove Back to the St Pete side to have what turned-out to be an AMAZING dinner with two of my dearest friends, and our combined brood. Years ago, John Talbert was my very best friend (I was Best Man at his wedding) and I was also dating a fabulous girl named Ann. The three of us spent many nights drunk and dancing, bar-hopping the Tampa alternative music scene. Now each of us are parents. It was so weird/wild/wonderful watching our three children playing together! We three arranged to meet at the house of John and his lovely wife Luz. There was wine to drink, amazing food to enjoy (DAMN you can cook Luz!!!). The kids had a blast. Ann and I may have gotten a touch too drunk, and Ann got to watch her beloved Tampa Bay Lightning win a spot in the playoffs. The following morning, it was Lunch with Jef and his lovely wife Sharyn, a trip to the import store in across the bay for booth furnishings, and then time to return to our “home” in Atlanta.

I’m not the only successful entrepreneur in the Bauman family

Heather opened a clothing line in Minnesota last year. She’s tired of working for “The Man”, even if “The Man” is the always charming Jack Akers. Her shop was a success. She has now been accepted into at least three other shows and has the potential for many more over the next few years. This means a lot of different things: We’re probably greatly increasing our income (and NOT our expenditures, ‘cause we’re smart) next year. I might have something to do when I am too old to be a Tortuga; Heather has graciously offered that one day I might be allowed to work for her. And I get to do really weird things like… Shop for fixtures for her shops. The mannequins were funny, if a little eerie. I especially liked the one that was clearly a tramp, I wonder why? She also organized a private show here on the grounds of the fair and sold, and sold and sold… That woman is alright.

I got over a week of Birthdays this year.

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My first was for our many GA friends. As per our traditions we celebrated one of my parties at our “Movie Nights”. The Movie was John Carpenter’s “The Thing”, one of my favorites. The turnout was great, Heather tricked-out the entire deck in Hello Kitty so that Dakota, who decided to work in Dallas instead of Atlanta this year, could be there in spirit. There was GREAT food, plenty of booze, loads of people, and one very happy Ronn. And the CAKE! The wonderful cake. I am really enamored of German Chocolate cake, Meghan, my friend, and drum booth manager wanted to make the cake; and boy did she! She hand ground and roasted the coconut herself. She used Ghirardelli chocolate, organic flour, and loads of TLC. It was so YUMMY.

I want to digress for a minute

I have so many different layers, or characters, I have to maintain; on stage, I am that wild, sexually ambiguous, clown. I maintain my facebook page as a character as well. I had to tell my family that when they are looking at Scaramouche’s page, with all of the Vodak and Strippers posts – that too is a character, a performance – though admittedly closer to me. Here in the fan club I open up a lot. You guys get to know stuff I just don’t need to let out in public. You have seen my daughter grow up. Watched me meet, fall in love with and marry my wife. You even get to hear me rant.

Now I need your honesty in return

I did something amusing with Scaramouche’s Facebook page this month. I published my amazon wish list. I have done this before, for Christmas or my birthday… but only on our website or in the fan club. On Scaramouche’s page, I mostly did it so real-life friends could get an idea of some of the things I wanted, as well as the fact that this particular list really played into Scaramouche’s Zombie-fighting persona. I really didn’t expect to get much or even anything from the list. Boy was I wrong. I was INUNDATED! I think I got around 40 different gifts from the list… and a few that weren’t on it but should have been. I got so much that I actually felt uncomfortable. I wasn’t joking when I posted on “his” page that I was embarrassed. It wasn’t completely intentional that the amazon list was itself kind of “in character” - It WAS mostly Zombie Survival Stuff – but neither was it completely accidental. In the end I was just kind of overwhelmed. There’s a part of me that wants to remove my wish list and NOT post it for Christmas. But there is also a part of me that enjoyed having it out there and watching all the gifts roll in. What do you think guys? I’m experiencing “Catholic Guilt” which is weird for an atheist, I know. Write me from the messages section and weigh in on this topic. In the end, for those many many people who contributed, I cannot thank you enough – you made my birthday, my 46th birthday feel like a child’s Christmas!

Between Birthdays One and Two, we did a photo shoot!

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There’s a pinup photographer (with a hot Asian girlfriend no less) who is talented, funny, and a good friend of Riki’s. With credentials like that, he should have been a friend of mine before now! Brent Walker asked us to model for an artistic “Dark Carnival” themed photo shoot, and we were happy to oblige. We were dressed in the finest “Steam Punk” gear courtesy of Kelly’s leather andMatt’s leather. Brent and his girl Suzu Tran wanted to create an almost oil-painting style vignette where an evil steam punk surgeon (yours truly) tortured a lost soul (Riki) before harvesting his organs. Meanwhile a steam punk clerical official looks disinterestedly on (Jef). The shoot itself was a blast, but not as fun as working with Ann Brown (where were the shots?). Suzu was set designer, visionary and makeup artist and the finished product was quite something. I won’t publish the final shot here – Go to Brent’s site to see that. He was also kind enough to shoot some solo and group shots of us all decked out… What do you think?

My actual Birthday was a work day

And you can certainly do worse than to celebrate it with your friends and fans… A nice bonus: My brother and his brood drove in from Tennessee to visit. We went out to Mellow Mushroom Pizza, He even paid! I also want to thank Sharyn Watson for coming to town. I had a great day.

When it comes to Celebratory food, it is hard to beat Chef Jax.

You have all read about Chef Jax and her amazing meals. My wife wanted to spoil me (which was far more than I deserve) so she hired Jax (who GREATLY discounted her services) to make a FEAST of splendors for my birthday din-din. We had (I think) ten folks there. There were ginger mojitos. There was bread pudding, salmon cakes, asparagus… and the most amazing prime rib, many other treats (and a killer dessert) as well. The photo cannot do it justice. Words, even my flowery ones, cannot describe this meal. Thanks again to Chef Jax, and most importantly: THANKS MY BEAUTIFUL WIFE! You know what: with as amazing as the week was; I think I may not only continue the birthday week trend for myself, but start it for my wife as well… The best gift I received may have been unintentional; There was this amazing post from the CDC (Center for Disease Control) supporting my worst fears!

My many celebrations were not the only parties in May.

Some of the celebrations were of a distinctly NON – birthday bent. Many of our friends got together to see Pirates of the Caribbean 4 together. We were giggling like school kids as we sat together in the huge AMC Theater. It was a blast. To me the best part was; since I was sitting right next to Muggsy/Ded Bob, every time a character said “Tortuga” I nudged him with my elbow. Not once did anyone in that movie say “Ded Bob”!

Besides Dakota’s New Orleans trip – see the paragraph below, there was also a party for Matt Mansour: the evil “Sir Maxmillian, the Jousting Earl of Braden”. Besides being aleather artisan and a jouster he’s also a dammed handsome man. Thanks for having me to the party and getting me drunk you villain!

Arguably the most important birthday of the month didn’t even happen here in Atlanta

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For a myriad of personal reasons, Dakota decided NOT to come to GA this year. DaKitty is a big deal in this family. She is the sister my wife always wanted. My daughter loves her. I hesitate to write this since she reads this journal… but I absolutely love her as well. We normally really enjoy spending time with her here in Atlanta and we usually combine our birthday celebrations. Being separated was hard. Since New Orleans was in the middle between Dallas, and Atlanta, Since Dakota had never been to New Orleans and since we have so many friends of our own there; we decided to treat Dakota and Adam to New Orleans adventure.

For the Bauman family the ride down was pleasant. It was a mere eight hours and we had no trailer or dogs to worry about. Heather made arrangements with a friend Erin for agorgeous hotel, mere steps from the quarter. Dakota and Adam (who, as I have mentioned, I could really learn to hate – *grin*) arrived in New Orleans and got a head start on the drinking. I of course bought us all daiquiris and shots as soon as we got into town… This may have been the reason why Dakota later tried on my daughter’s terry-cloth pull-over (and fit into it!). Our first night was dinner in the quarter and more drinks… apparently too many; since we drank poor Dakota under the table. By midnight, in one of the few cities that doesn’t sleep, all of us were out. To our credit, we held out a lot longer than Adam and DaKitty; those kids just can’t party.

Shopping in the quarter; now with a munchkin.

The next morning was eventually devoted to showing off the French Quarter to Adam and Dakota. I say eventually because 3 of our party of five slept in… a lot. It was funny that Dakota and I were lamenting on Facebook that everyone else was asleep, while we were of course in different rooms.

We hit all of the “old Stand-bys”; I have been visiting New Orleans often since my first year touring Renaissance Festivals back in 1989 and knew all the spots. We of course at Café au Lait and Beignets at Café Du Monde. We did some shopping including sneakily taking pictures at my favorite Gothic clothing store. The photos are an example for the interior decorator at our dungeon. <014>. We of course took Scarlett with us; it was her second time in the French Quarter. Between the demands of a three-year-old, and the oppressive heat (I normally only visit in the late fall), it was a little less carefree than normal.

Hey Chef Jax: John Besh’s August restaurant in New Orleans is gunning for you.

The crown jewel in Dakota’s birthday trip tiara was her first visit to the opulent August restaurant. Jeff Gulotta and Erin, dear friends who have been mentioned many times in my journal once again spoiled-the-heck out of us, Dakota and Adam. It is a beautiful restaurant; I had beautiful companions… Yes, Adam is beautiful too. The food was so good it made me cry. We began with foie gras; I had this mouth-watering Lamb. I even finished with my first proper absinthe. Jeff manages August and he not only gave us a hook-up on the cost of the meal, he spent lots of time pampering us and making us laugh. We LOVED hearing stories of celebrities and others who he has met in his long and interesting career and we stayed long past the bar closing just hanging with our friends. Let me once-again thank Erin and Jeff for showing us a great time.

Our planned romp in the Quarter…

...Was in fact a bit of a bust. We had talked about roaming the streets, getting drinks, seeing a drag show – maybe even taking Adam and Cody to a strip club… but once again, we outlasted the kids who were sound asleep by the time we returned from picking up Scarlett from the sitters.

The Bauman’s departed the next morning

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We crossed the massive Lake Ponchatrain to the north shore, spent a few hours at my mother’s and finally met up with Adam and Cody for some grocery shopping in Hammond; the site of the Louisiana Renaissance Festival. Heather and the kids picked up a slew of groceries, and we headed to the much written-of Haeuser Hotel. Heather wanted to make dinner for the Haeusers, Adam and I went and fetched Drive through Daiquiris! Bob and Jamie’s daughter Katie was in town. We ate. We drank. We talked and talked and talked. We had a wonderful time. The next morning we made the 8 hour trip back to our home in Atlanta.

Well this about wraps up this journal

It is the end of a very sweaty Sunday, our final day, June 5th (ten days late!) as I finish this. Next month I will have to tell you about my speed-trips to Carolina and South Georgia. I will write about our final weekend in Georgia and our Meet-n-Greet. I will tell you about some of our other endeavors, what is working and what regrettably is not; anyone want to buy a whole bunch of stained glass? I think my final entry will cover what I am calling our “Teapot Surprise”. I picked the teapot up from the stove to clean its outside and found it to be unexpectedly heavy. Since it was supposed to be empty imagine my surprise when I saw it filled with toys, and knick-knacks hidden there in by my sneaksy-tricksy daughter.

Check out the photos! Have a great month, stay cool, and we’ll see you back here next time.

Ronn

I almost forgot!

I had a lot of fun, making fun of the doomsday prediction of Harold Camping. In case you missed the news; All of god’s chosen were supposed to be raptured up to heaven on May 21st at 6pm. I was never worried for you guys though. You like us; clearly you’re not making it to heaven! Not to worry; Harold says that that day was (and I’m not making this up) a spiritual rapture, an invisible rapture, and that we are all now doomed. It hurts my feelings that I won’t get to finish our run at the Carolina Renaissance Festival... Still; it is God’s Will. Did you like my comical photo celebrating the event?