April Fools!
Now I sit, fully clothed in a suit of armor, no television on. Writing this entry long-hand on a legal tablet.
We had a very busy month
And most of it seemed to revolve around parties of one form or another. I mean we did do some other cool stuff: We took Scarlett to the zoo with the wonderful Wendi, Rhyne, and their daughter Clio. Scarlett loves Clio, but gets confused; Since she also shares a sitter half-of-the-year with an adorable girl named Lilly, she keeps also calling Clio Lilly. Funny. The two families had a great time.
But we did have a combined Malcolm/Scarlett Birthday party. It was attended by lots of great folks:Duncan, Maria and baby Spring, Kathy/Twig, The Millers (of course) Justin and Meghan – just a bunch of great people. Let me tell all of you nine-to-fivers out there; we were aware enough to note that it was a wonderful way to spend a Wednesday afternoon. The biggest hit of the day was Scarlett’s bubble machine. I’d like to point out how interesting my Daughter is: In the video and photos you can see she is wearing an apron. When she noticed that both her mom, and Meghan were wearing aprons, she rushed inside, dug out hers, and put it on to fit in with the group.
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But it wasn’t just kiddie-games
RESCU is an organization that helps out festival participants without medical insurance. They are a great advocacy and financial assistance group, and we not only help them out every way we can, but we always have a great time at their events. Once again, the cash-raising rally here in Arizona was a casino night. We didn’t feel like gambling, and only bid on a few of the multitude of donated articles in the auctions. What we DID do to help RESCU raise money was to drink, a lot. All of the proceeds from the bar went to RESCU, so we drank.
Loads of our friends were there: Good looking men including me, and lovely women. I can honestly tell you; I do not remember the golf-cart ride home. I don’t remember everything I said. I don’t even remember how many people I flirted with or kissed. I did have to make a lot of apologies the next day while I was hung over.
We made some improvements to Spice Traders Café
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So they use the phrase “Digging a ditch” to describe menial, horrible, back-breaking labor. You don’t know the half of it. There is something amazing that happens to the sun-fired clay here in the desert. And when we determined that we needed to tap into the septic line so that Justin and Meghan no longer had to stretch a thirty-foot hose across our yard (and the compound we lovingly call “Spice traders Café”) every two days to drain their shower and poo- water… the first step was to, of course dig a trench. Alright, full disclosure; I did less than ten percent of the actual labor on this project. The new plumbing was predominantly for the benefit of J and M, so gamely Justin did the majority of the work. I was busy digging a deeper (though smaller) hole around a rotted post in our drum booth to fix the rotted beam. Stupid desert. Eventually the drain pipe got spliced, the water hose (damaged in the dig) got repaired, and the hole got refilled. We love our little neighborhood here. Besides having our yard, and cozy “teahouse” in which to entertain occasionally Saint Patrick’s Day parades spontaneously occur.
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The fun continues
We rolled out a new bit of merchandise, our very-own Tortuga Twins thong. We even got the prettiest member of one of our fellow stage acts to model them. We attended the party to show our appreciation for our wonderful stage hands (I LOVE you Bryon!). Several people got more-than-a-little drunk. I am embarrassed to admit that a party was also thrown for my stupid Chihuahua and his litter-sister Pam. It was DaKitty’s idea, not mine. I just went for the cake. All the big names were in attendance. And I think I was drinking there too.
We are a lot of fun at parties we’re paid to entertain at too.
We did a combined birthday party on the Wednesday night after Student days about 35 minutes from site in (Are you ready for this?) Queens Creek AZ.
Queens Creek!
We actually had a blast. We arrived right-on-time. And after a little drinking and some brief discussion; we moved to the outdoor, hot tub-side stage and had a rousing and raucous sword fighting show. Our naughty humor was well-received, so well in fact that they are having us back to do it all again next year!
Sometimes, one party a night isn’t enough.
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We had a lovely time at the party, but after we returned home, I had to scramble into some flashier togs appropriate to attend this year’s Arizona Renaissance Festival’s Funky Formal. I managed to charm a very pretty girl once I got there. Aww, who am I kidding. I don’t know why Heather picked me; she is so out of my league. I was just happy to see her, and her hot, hot self.
Loads of our friends were at the Funky Formal too.
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Guinness Book of World’s Record holder Adam Crack was there at the formal too with him, two of the prettiest, non-heather girls in the world. He’s friends with, and employs on the weekend Riki’s ex-sweetheart Heather Nance, and he’s close friends with the stupidly beautiful Dakota. Two (and too) hot girls? I could learn to HATE that man. In all honesty, Adam is a good guy. He’s a little weird, as any highly-talented “skill” performer is. He’s funny and creative in his quiet, boy-scout way. He was over at the house the other night, and as this video shows built a Lego prison to enclose my child, placing a pillow over her as a ceiling. Scarlett not only didn’t struggle, she pulled the roof back into place to remain in her cell. What I won’t show you is when Adam played harmonica for our little felon. I don’t want you admiring him more than me! We had a Great time at the Formal. There were pretty people and more pretty people and dancing and drinking (imagine that!) Our dear friend (and Sex-on-a-stick!) Gale showed up with all of her massive boobies. Jon saw them, and dived right in.
The following day was almost a complete write-off.
We were up to four am. We let our drunk and hot friend Gale crash on our couch. Just my luck; I finally get Heather to bring home a sexy stripper, and it’s a friend who sleeps on the couch. Silly monogamy! We had Thai food for brunch, drank a load of water, and watched a few movies while we recovered. There was napping, including a daughter who mysteriously disappeared in her bunk-bed. You’d think that we’d then slow-down with the partying? Au Contraire! The next day we also had a lovely cook-out with our good friends the Esparzas. We had steak, yum!. We had a great time with friends. Jon came with us and was just charming. Thanks again to June and Dave for both a great meal, and all the good times while we were in town.
I am actually six days late in posting this journal.
Maybe I did it just so I could include last night’s Meet n Greet? Or maybe I have just been too damned busy partying and recovering? I am in fact finally over the hangover from last night. It is partially aided by the judicious application of the fresh grapefruit greyhounds near to my right hand.
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The meet and greet was once-again a blast. Some of our fans got dressed-up just for us, and it was appreciated. Some of our fans purchased stuff to wear later! We once again flirted with everyone and sat with everyone. We chatted and told stories. We drank, we ate, we drank and we took a ton of photos. A GREAT time was had by all.
So Heather is getting a little fresh-grapefruit juice crazy as I finish this journal; it might be time to administer a little spanking!
Remind me next time to tell you about Dakota’s first Kayak trip.
Happy First of April fans and friends! The clown I opened this journal with, and all clowns, creep me out. Here’s a little bonus for you.
